"Angora does say 'I love you, honey,' more than cotton."
--One teenage girl to another, shopping at American Eagle

Down at Walmart, hearing an old lady talking with a teenager walmart worker:

"Do you have 102 Dalmations?"
"102....is that that movie with the dogs with the spots?"

"They're great. She's great. In fact, if there were a spotlight on just her, and the rest of the theatre was dark, I would be madly in love with that lady."
--A guy at the Parkway Theatre, commenting on Project Pimento's lead singer.

"Sticky? Yes. But worth it? Ohhhh, yes!"

-A guy standing outside the dining hall eating a candy apple

"take it from me, guys - jacking off sure relieves the stress!"

-overheard while walking down the street to a friend's place

"I think it's wonderful that you want to walk like a duck down the aisle."
--A woman halfheartedly talking on a cell phone while reading a magazine, in line at Safeway.

"i especially liked the inclusion of jung."

"and don't forget the use of the phrase 'candy-ass'!"

"oh, yes! genius, pure genius."


-two girls coming out of the blue man group concert last night. my favorite part is that they were both serious.

and both right, of course.

A conversation between co workers....


#1 Hey, you almost ran me off the road this morning!

#2 Oh, was that you?

Not "oops, sorry bout that", or "Gee, I just didn't see you".

Just a reminder, they call it rush hour for a reason.

"well, my sister from michigan will be there - the bossy one.... and, of course, my brother-in-law, poor bastard, biggest mistake of his life, but THAT'S another story..."

-elderly man on a cell phone in a bob evans somewhere in ohio.

this is the same gentleman who started the conversation with, "yes, i've just checked inside my coat, and you're speaking with either 'medium' or 'harris tweed' here" as waves of "oh puh-LESE, you've used the same damn joke for 50 FRIGGIN YEARS" emmanated from his wife. heh.

i don't think they could see me laughing helplessly, no.

"See, if I'm actually up and checking work mail at 5am, I make sure as hell that I respond to everything. Even stuff that I really only have a ping response on. Just so people know I'm working at 5am. I figure they'll figure if my answers are vague, it's because I'm so tired."
"That's not really what we've been figuring."
--Two men talking in line at Jamba Juice