Santa+Jesus = Sanus? Jesta?
Submitted by yeswehavenofries on Tue, 03/02/2004 - 8:36pm. Beautiful
"Yesterday Jake and I went for a walk in stanley park, but on the bus on the way there we met a jesus. He used to be a santa. but now he's a jesus, and he got to ride the bus for free because he's a messanger from god. But he will go back on his spaceship. He gave us pennies and then we sacrificed the pennies to the giant head in the park."

Random girl on a greyhound bus. I didn't ask any questions. Why? Because I'm almost postive she wasn't talking to me. But, because of her lazy eye, I really couldn't be sure...
March 1, 2004
Submitted by PurpleCow on Tue, 03/02/2004 - 1:28pm. Beautiful
"Is it two parts hydrogen and one part water?"
~My brother, calculating what chemicals are in water.
February 29, 2004
Submitted by PurpleCow on Mon, 03/01/2004 - 9:02pm. Beautiful
"What's 'X-Men in July'?"
~Guy at SALT, seeing "X-Mas in July" written on the board
Wisdom on the water
Submitted by zytka on Thu, 02/26/2004 - 12:19am. Beautiful
"I never retreat. I just turn around and go forward."
— A man at the marina stating his philosophy after recounting his run-in with a shark (Emeryville, CA)
Redeeming qualities
Submitted by barb on Wed, 02/25/2004 - 9:26pm. Beautiful
"I'm not a jerk, I have redeeming qualities."

"Umm... if you weren't a jerk, you wouldn't need redeeming qualities."

a guy and a girl at The Maple Room (a bar)
February 25, 2004
Submitted by PurpleCow on Wed, 02/25/2004 - 2:49pm. Beautiful
"My sister goes clubbing... with her SON!"
"Well, maybe she likes to dance."
~Disgusted woman and not-quite-clear-on-the-issue Spanish professor in Spanish class.
February 22, 2004
Submitted by PurpleCow on Sun, 02/22/2004 - 6:43pm. Beautiful
"I invited him to SNAC and he wouldn't come. I mean, he could but he wouldn't. I mean, he would. But he wouldn't. I mean..."
~Verbally befuddled guy at SALT
20 February 2004
Submitted by eve on Sat, 02/21/2004 - 2:00am. Beautiful
"You look nicer."
"Yeah, I don't wear the contacts much."
"No. I mean you look like a nicer person."
--Two guys talking at Thalassa
February 19, 2004
Submitted by PurpleCow on Fri, 02/20/2004 - 2:11pm. Beautiful
"Here, draw a G on the board and see if he can tell what letter it is."
~My mom to my sister, as we were drilling my 4-year-old brother on his alphabet. My brother was standing right there. Needless to say, his answer was "G."
If you were a guy...
Submitted by yeswehavenofries on Thu, 02/19/2004 - 5:36pm. Beautiful
"So, if you were a guy, would *you* be a swimmer?"
"Yeah I probably would. If I was, well you know...well endowed."
"Oh, yeah...definitely, what with wearing that tiny speedo and everything."