"What's something horrible that's happened to you lately? Please, let me mine your life for my personal gain."
--One guy to another at Berkeley Bowl

"Is that a nose spray?"
"No, it's a cross."
"A nose spray? What the heck is a nose spray?"
~Two girls and a guy on the bus, looking at a tiny cross-shaped bubbles thingy

"OH, JESUS!"
"Actually, you can just call me Mike!"

-My friend Melissa and a random guy as he sprinted across the SUNY Delhi campus. He gets many cool points for thinking on his feet.

"My ancestors...oh, wait, they're dead, aren't they?"
~A woman in Spanish, trying to make a sentence with the word "ancestors" in it. I don't even know what was running through her head.

"Do you miss it?"
"Oh, no, we came to Dallas from Ahmedabad twenty three years ago. We are cowboys now!"
--A teenage girl, and a tiny elderly woman, talking at DFW.

"My parents do not have sex!"
"Then where did you come from?"
"The goblins brought me."

--two pre-teen boys in the mall. Farmington, NM.

And here I thought goblins stole children.

"Mommy? When I'm little again, will you carry me around?"
"Sweetie, you're not going to be little again."
"But when you get old you get littlier. Right?"

A mom and her two kids, the toddler obviously jealous that the baby got most of the attention.

"Look, Canaan! It's a play about a good Martian!"
~Guy at drama, reading a play titled "The Good Samaritan"

Wow! I've never eaten a Rolo like this before, if you bite through them, you can see the caramel inside. I'm glad it's really caramel instead of, like, caramel-flavored nougat.

"Whoa! Is this table ... or ... What, are you getting taller, or ...?"
"Oh, um, no, I, I think it's because ... because I'm sitting --"
"Oh, right, okay. Ha-ha."
"Yeah. I'm sitting on my feet."
"Right."
"Right."
"Yeah."
"OK."

(long pause)

"Are your feet getting bigger?"

--Guy and a girl at PJ's coffee shop in Uptown New Orleans