"How big is the 8-inch pizza" Kian to a waiter at a restaurant in Westwood.

"What is the standard pace for darts?"
*Points to a spot on the floor with foot* "There"
"There?"
"Yeah"
"Wherever you put your foot, that's the standard distance for darts?"
Kian, to me, in the office at UCLA.

"Soccer was nominated for peace," Kian to Roy.
*pause and much blinking*
"Sofa was nominated for anxiety," Roy, befuddled.

"Dude, you wanna smoke some pot before the Ninja Turtles Movie?"

Pause.

"There's a Ninja Turtles movie?"

--two kids hovering outside of my dorm door

Drama teacher- "Well, hurry up, let's go, you can figure out the rest of it when you do the thing."

Jesse, kid in my group-- "Okay, would you have said, 'Hey Sophocles, hurry up let's go, you can figure out the rest of Oedipus when you do the thing'??!"

--In today's drama class, when being forced to do quick improv entirely in greek

"Let's see what we're missing."
--A girl in an office building, just before pulling the shades back and seeing a rainbow right outside the window.

"Mom, the coaches are drooling over me!"

my cousin Eli (5'll", 200 lbs, 12 years old) on the first day of try-outs for 7th grade football.

"Don't I know you from somewhere?"

"I think we've met before..."

"You were on the phone..."

"..yes, and you were playing chess."

--two young adults whispering near me at a poetry reading

"Even if the game isn't indefinite, it DOES last forever."
~Me, on a Finding Nemo game the kids were playing. Took me a moment to figure out what I'd said.

"Hold on. Isn't this about the Nazis?"
~A girl at Extreme Faith, commenting on the Biblical story of Esther

"My nose is running. Anyone got a sleeve?"
"I've got an arm."
"I'll take it!"
~Two girls at Extreme Faith

Man: You know we live in Seattle-

Man 2: *cuts him off* So...

Man: Let me finish, so anyways you think we could get a better job then this I mean Boeing is in Washington, and there is a Starbucks on every corner-

Man 2: *cuts him off again* Like strippers?

Man: Yeah... wait, what?!

Man 2: Strippers are on every corner too so you know Starbucks is like a stripper.

Man: Ohhhh! *stares at him funny* Ok anyways the point is we should get a better job then this.

Man 2: You're right.

(two guys working at a McDonalds)