Bah, humbug
Wisdom
"i'm not getting him anything! there's too much to choose from! besides, i'm jealous. we didn't have all this cool stuff when I was a kid."
"me, neither."
"let's just find the legos."
"um... you might want to stick with lincoln logs. trust me."
- two 40ish men in a toy department in ottumwa, iowa... one of whom has clearly shopped for 'just legos' recently.
"me, neither."
"let's just find the legos."
"um... you might want to stick with lincoln logs. trust me."
- two 40ish men in a toy department in ottumwa, iowa... one of whom has clearly shopped for 'just legos' recently.
What a bargain
Funny
"oh, right! sorry, in our quest for the elusive, blinking, psychotic reindeer, i lost sight of what was really important."
my mom, referring to the fact that everything in the store we were in only cost a dollar. see? it's genetic.
my mom, referring to the fact that everything in the store we were in only cost a dollar. see? it's genetic.
Hey, phil.. who's the new guy with the fondue fetish?
Um...
"frottage is a kind of cheese, isn't it?"
- 20 something guy on a cell phone in an iowa grocery store.
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positively sputter-inducing. SOMEone's in for a surprise.
- 20 something guy on a cell phone in an iowa grocery store.
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positively sputter-inducing. SOMEone's in for a surprise.
Scary, indeed.
Other
seen in a display of old horror movies in a wal-mart: "heidi", the wide screen version.
nnnoooOOOOOOOoooooOOOOoo!
nnnoooOOOOOOOoooooOOOOoo!
Like a kid in a... er... waitaminnit.
Um...
"WHOA! GUNS!!"
-a kid about 5 or 6 in a sporting goods store in des moines (where the deer heads mounted on the walls all seemed, disconcertingly, to have names like "gene wernke" or "dale jameson"). ah, to be young and impressionable.
-a kid about 5 or 6 in a sporting goods store in des moines (where the deer heads mounted on the walls all seemed, disconcertingly, to have names like "gene wernke" or "dale jameson"). ah, to be young and impressionable.
Size matters?
Um...
"who's he kidding? i have a blow-up monkey at LEAST that big!"
40-ish guy at the 2nd street cafe, ottumwa, iowa.
40-ish guy at the 2nd street cafe, ottumwa, iowa.
Good advice?
Funny
her: "do you need a hug now?"
me: "eeeeh... i need a man."
her: "what?"
me: "i need a man to hug."
both: "i/you need amanda huggenkiss!!"
her: "see? you could pull off a lifestyle change."
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intelligirly and me in the pizza hut parking lot this afternoon. heh. the pitfalls of watching too many simpson's episodes.
me: "eeeeh... i need a man."
her: "what?"
me: "i need a man to hug."
both: "i/you need amanda huggenkiss!!"
her: "see? you could pull off a lifestyle change."
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intelligirly and me in the pizza hut parking lot this afternoon. heh. the pitfalls of watching too many simpson's episodes.
Brag much?
Tragic
"that's the story of my life - fill 'er up!"
-a guy putting gas in his car at a small town iowa convenience store.
can i just tell you all how very, very much i doubt this was actually true?
-a guy putting gas in his car at a small town iowa convenience store.
can i just tell you all how very, very much i doubt this was actually true?
"oh, yeah... and say a prayer."
Wisdom
"confidence is that feeling you get right before you really understand the problem."
-a church sign in iowa
this is from the same church that brought us "if ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?"
-a church sign in iowa
this is from the same church that brought us "if ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?"
