"How do you get home?"

"Either my mom or the bus.."
"A school bus?"
"Yeah. It's an IB bus. For IB kids."
"Are you an IB kid?"
"Yeah."
"Are those the smart ones?"

--Chrstine and I today. Some people.. God..

"You get so much for being a cute girl. My boss would send me to do his errands because he said they got done faster if a girl did them."

-girl replying to another girl's comment about someone letting her submit paperwork a day early 'because she was cute'

ComedySportz referee: "For this next scene we need a movie genre..."
Girl in audience: "Chicago!"
ComedySportz ref: "Uh, okay, so we'll do it in the style of a 1930s musical."
ComedySportz actor: "What, not like the band?"
Girl in audience: "Chicago is a band?"
ComedySportz ref: "Geez, that even makes me feel old."

- Anoka-Ramsey Community College, Cambridge, Minnesota

customer: "my account is locked out and you haven't been unlocking it, evertime i call they say theyre doing it but theyre not, if this doesn't get fixed i'm going to talk to your supervisor"

me: "ma'am, have you checked yor CapsLo-"

customer "Do you think i'm stupid enough to not check my CapsLock key?"

me: "ma'am could you please double check for me"

cutomer "I just di- oh"

*click* (dial tone)



Thats about 1 in 9 phone calls i get a day.... *sigh*

"i'll just take a hacksaw to it, and then we can stuff those back down there and reattatch it"


They were talking about the metal conduit that was holding the electrical wires to the outlet they were trying to move. And they hadn't shut any power off.
Thats what i call natural selection...

"Thank You! Sweat Screams!"
A sign painted in the loading cemetary at one of the local high school's haunted hayride. Ah, how education makes me laugh and cry at the same time. *sigh*

".....your dad say?"
"He said if I got an abortion, he'd buy me a new car."
"Uh-huh."
"And I've been asking for a new car since I turned 17."
"Do you know who the father is?"
"Yes."
"And have you discussed this with him?"
"Yes."
"And what did he have to say?"
"He said if I got an abortion, he'd buy me a new car, too. So it's like a two-for-one kind of deal. It's like hitting the lottery or something."
"So you think this should be an *mumbling*"
"Hell yeah. I mean, I'm trading a fetus for two cars."
"What if I were to tell you that you aren't truly pregnant?"
"The question is, what will it take for you to tell my dad that I am?"

-A young teenage girl with an over-exaggerated southern accent, probably 18 at the absolute most, and one of the gynos at my doctor's office

On a side note, I need to stop going to doctors down here! That was the most painful pap smear of my life.

"Ooh, lets give blood, we can get free coffee!"
"I can't give blood, I'm too hung-over..."
"Oh."
(two girls walking by the MLK Student Union...ok I admit, the second one was me)

Not exactly overheard, but written by my daughter:

i hate the fact that they remind me that baseball is more business than game. because they've had a string of owners that are willing to shell out the most money to add players they hardly even use to beat teams that will never have a legit chance.

i hate their "mystique." bill gates doesn't have mystique. neither does aol. neither should the yankees. they just have the most money.

i hate the smug superiority. the idea that playing in new york is better than playing anywhere else. the idea that new york is the best city in the world -- i can think of a dozen cities with more culture and lower crime rates. the idea that it's an unforgivable crime when mediocre yankee players aren't in the hall of fame. the idea that by some divine decision they are better than all others.

i hate that the media applauds new york fans for being so knowledgable. they throw batteries and they boo their own players. if being obnoxious shows intelligence then the world wrestling federation has the smartest fans.

i hate the pinstripes -- they aren't slimming, they're ugly.

go marlins.

Not so much "tragic" as "bitter".

"how about combat boots and a bikini"

it wouldn't be so tragic if the woman discussing what to wear on halloween wasn't 40 and 250 lbs......