Under a rock
Submitted by steff on Wed, 03/24/2004 - 9:32am. Tragic
"y'member that time they bombed that... oh, that place in new york, y'know? 9-11?"

"yeah. do YOU?"

- two old men, talking (i believe) about gas prices.

scare. ee. i was gratified, however, that as i was frozen in the "hold my breath and stand very still with my eyes bugged out incredulously" stance, his friend jumped in with the sarcasm. heh.
March 17, 2004
Submitted by PurpleCow on Thu, 03/18/2004 - 10:48am. Tragic
"What if we were walking down the street and we went, 'Abbacadoo!'"
"Wait...did you say 'Abbacadoo'?"
"I don't know. It all happened too fast."
~A guy suggesting a skit for drama and a confused leader.
All I can say about this is "ACK!"
Submitted by Desert Fox on Mon, 03/01/2004 - 2:11pm. Tragic
"Yeah, my sister bought a Harley-Davidson outfit for her chihuahua."

-- some random guy in one of the local bars, talking to his co-worker
February 22, 2004
Submitted by PurpleCow on Sun, 02/22/2004 - 7:11pm. Tragic
"So, yeah, I don't know what we're doing with that yet."
"So...what are we doing with that?"
~Youth pastor and kid at SALT, who obviously hadn't been listening too hard...
The lamest of lame
Submitted by starryeyed09 on Thu, 02/19/2004 - 10:26am. Tragic
"Okay, okay...what does a person who can't see very well put over their eyes so they can see better?"
*random guesses, like eye patches, etc.*
"Glasses!" *hysterical laughing* "And what makes it funnier is that it's true!"
- guy telling a 'joke' to a group of people in Saga...he seriously thought it was the best joke ever. And I mean *ever*.
February 18, 2004
Submitted by PurpleCow on Wed, 02/18/2004 - 7:15pm. Tragic
"You know more about me than *I* know about me!"
~A very irate guy at drama
Tanning Bed Trauma
Submitted by kabandra on Thu, 02/12/2004 - 9:03pm. Tragic
...First girl,"This is kinda morbid, but
[collects thoughts]I was thinking about how I am happy I am when I lie in a tanning bed. So I want to die happy. And that I would want to lie in a tanning bed until I died. But then I thought that would hurt. [in growing excitement]So I maybe I could take morphine! That's how I would want to die. [pause] But the tanning bed would turn off in 30 minuits,
and I would have to turn it back on. [pause] But I'd be on morpine. Hmmm?"
... Second girl"So what did you guys think about the Super Bowl? huh?"
...Third girl"She just wants to us to stop talking about death."
..."Yes, that is why I changed the subject. Let's talk about something else besides death."
...Anther girl,"Let's talk about life."
[everyone snicker]
..First girl, "What? The organization?"
..Second girl, "What organization?"
... First girl,"LIFE. You never heard of it?[recieves puzzled looks from everyone]
[looking down] I really don't want to talk about life."

--group of girls at the dining hall
This is somewhat long, but this is my first time and I found this really funny. I hope it's allright.
..Depends on what kind of Donut, I guess?
Submitted by yeswehavenofries on Tue, 02/03/2004 - 8:06pm. Tragic
"Wait, are you saying that you'd trade my friendship for a donut?"
Workin for the man
Submitted by Bob Dobbs on Tue, 02/03/2004 - 5:45pm. Tragic
Well, a week now since starting my new job. Not a job I like; but, a job to ease the tower of bills that seem to accumulate when there is no film or tv work around. I'm working in....a call center. Yes, that's right, a call center: "Hello, my name is Desperate McSlacker and I'm calling from Morally Dubious SuperConglomerCorps. I'm calling to either push more sweatshop created crap on you at a price that seems cheap to you, in a veiled attempt for the corporation I'm currently employeed by to gather as much personal information upon as possible, whereby it can be utilaized by every other subsiduary company hidden within our heirarchy. ...Do you want fries with that?" A University degree in Theatre, 12 years working in the entertainment industry (stage hand, Campus Radio Assistant Manager, shop hand, fly gallery, Video Assist, Casting Associate, Roadie...blah, blah, blah) and I can't find anything for the past three months. I'm purposely not looking for bartending/serving jobs (industry burnout, y'know, might snap) and due to the decided lack of anything else on my resume, I can't even get an interview at a Plastic Extruding Factory. The only job interview I get is for a freakin call center. I've definately made an error in my educational history, maybe I should've taken those highschool classes in power mechanics or auto body.

I'm not feelin too well about things right now, I might as well be working at McDonalds for all I care.

I'm too depressed to even growl.
Blur dating
Submitted by zytka on Tue, 01/20/2004 - 10:29pm. Tragic
"You need to get over her. You need to try blur dating."
"Try WHAT?!"
"Blur dating. You date as many people of the opposite sex as you can in quick succession. You should date each of them for just one really stellar quality – they're incredibly witty, unbelievably hot, earth-shaking in bed, or whatever. It could be that you just really like her shoes – it doesn't matter. Then, you make sure that you remain just drunk enough the entire time that they all start to blur into one person. Like...they become this ideal woman."
"I don't think I'd be able to do that, what with needing to keep my integrity intact and all."
"Well, you don't see any of them often enough to form any deep, meaningful relationship – that's exactly what you don't want. You see....it's kind of the Drano method of getting over an ex. It'll clean you out, but it leaves you feeling a bit hollow."
— two guys talking over coffee in a cafe (Emeryville, CA)