August 22, 2004
Submitted by Dragon19 on Sun, 08/22/2004 - 11:31am. Um...
"Wait..You cut your lips off? Really?"
"Dude! That rocks!"
- Girl talking on a cellphone while in a grocery store in Houston, Texas.
August 18, 2004
Submitted by PurpleCow on Sun, 08/22/2004 - 10:51am. Um...
"I want to be a girl!"
~A girl at drama practice
18 August 2004
Submitted by Appie86 on Wed, 08/18/2004 - 7:21am. Um...
"I hope it happens soon. That would be a great time for that global warming to kick in." -- woman on office phone.

Is anytime a great time for global warming to kick in?
August 8, 2004
Submitted by PurpleCow on Mon, 08/16/2004 - 1:38pm. Um...
"What does he want to do for a career?"
"Well, he likes Oprah."
~My grandma and uncle in the car on the way back to New York
August 8 2004
Submitted by Appie86 on Mon, 08/16/2004 - 12:38pm. Um...
"So, how's the wife?"
"Good. She's lost 80 lbs."
"Wow, she must look good."
"eh, she's still got a gut on her."
-- Overheard from cubicle next to mine. Bet that guys' wife would be happy to hear that.
I should have triple A write all my similes.
Submitted by smokingjames on Thu, 08/12/2004 - 7:56pm. Um...
"Turning a car quickly is like a large football player trying to make a sharp turn at full gallop: sometimes it works, but sometimes it doesn't."
--From a driver training manual.
I'll have a pot mix, on the rocks, thanks.
Submitted by anxious on Tue, 08/10/2004 - 4:09pm. Um...
"well, after smoking or drinking the pot, i usually..."
one of two college boys strolling past me.
Submitted by brightesteyes 1206 on Tue, 08/10/2004 - 10:55am. Um...
Lady 1 : "Have you heard about Niptuck?"
Lady 2 : "I love that show!"
Lady 3 : "Isn't that a surgery?"
Lady 1: "Yes, but it's vveerryy sexual." - - Three mothers talking at Stiles Pond in Boxford, MA (within earshot of their sand castle building children).
Like a kid in a... er... waitaminnit.
Submitted by steff on Mon, 08/09/2004 - 9:40pm. Um...

-a kid about 5 or 6 in a sporting goods store in des moines (where the deer heads mounted on the walls all seemed, disconcertingly, to have names like "gene wernke" or "dale jameson"). ah, to be young and impressionable.
That's bad no matter how you look at it.
Submitted by BigBadHuffPuff on Mon, 08/09/2004 - 7:12pm. Um...
"When I was pregnant, I drank a lot of gin, but it didn't work."
-- Middle-Aged Woman in a Lexington Avenue Liquor Store