I wonder if he said fifty or fifteen
Submitted by anxious on Thu, 09/29/2005 - 2:50pm. Funny
Preppy college guy: Do I really look fifty?
Jocular Friend: No, no way man! At most, you look a boyish 35.
Submitted by anxious on Sun, 05/08/2005 - 5:48pm. Graffiti
"End British Rule in Indiana!"

--etched on a wooden chair in my African Encounters class
Why not, wear some crazy pants
Submitted by anxious on Sun, 05/08/2005 - 5:22pm. Beautiful
(first girl singing) "Why not, take a crazy chance."
(second girl chiming in) "Why not, do a crazy dance.."
"What's the rest of it?"
"Well I don't know..."

(together) "Why not, do a crazy dance..."

--Two girls walking behind me on a path, smiling and smoking.
Submitted by anxious on Sat, 02/26/2005 - 2:11pm. Funny
"I wonder how many cultures have a word for 'fun'."
"for 'fuck'?"
"no, fun."
"wow..probably not very many. how about the word 'work?'"
"probably all of them, man."
"no, man. not my culture."

--waiting in line for a sandwich. the guy making the sandwich is the one with no work ethic.
My grandmother doesn't go for the real ones either.
Submitted by anxious on Wed, 12/01/2004 - 7:32pm. Funny
"So I went to my grandfather's house and he had a fake christmas tree. i said grandfather why do you have a fake christmas tree? and he started going off on how so many christmas trees catch on fire and burn down houses every year, and after that he made me watch a video about it."

--one young girl talking to another on a train bound for new york city
Sounds like a bushism to me
Submitted by anxious on Sun, 10/17/2004 - 11:58am. Funny
"..so i said to him, 'well, are you an american, or an american't?'"

--lady with slightly southern accent waddling by me with her husband in the Metropolitan
What would jew do?
Submitted by anxious on Thu, 09/16/2004 - 10:56am. Tragic
"God! I can't believe our ancestors came over in crappy boats from poland just so you could go to a liberal arts college and eat bacon on yom kippur."
"Actually, it's rosh hashanah, but i know. Like, this whole culture that's been persecuted and mass murdered ends right here in my cinnamon toast crunch."

--some upperclassmen musing at the table next to me during breakfast
Missing the piggy pink point.
Submitted by anxious on Tue, 09/07/2004 - 10:20pm. Graffiti
"Der Schinken ist Nicht die seife!"

--written on the blackboard of my otherwise terribly dry philosophy class. Translated from German it means (according to dictionary.com) "the ham is not soaps"
Tonight at 9! I'm so excited
Submitted by anxious on Tue, 09/07/2004 - 4:23pm. Beautiful
"Dude, you wanna smoke some pot before the Ninja Turtles Movie?"


"There's a Ninja Turtles movie?"

--two kids hovering outside of my dorm door
I guess you goddamn wouldn't, wouldn't you.
Submitted by anxious on Tue, 09/07/2004 - 4:03pm. Beautiful
Drama teacher- "Well, hurry up, let's go, you can figure out the rest of it when you do the thing."

Jesse, kid in my group-- "Okay, would you have said, 'Hey Sophocles, hurry up let's go, you can figure out the rest of Oedipus when you do the thing'??!"

--In today's drama class, when being forced to do quick improv entirely in greek