"Maybe they're making sun-tea."
~My mom, on seeing a nearly full bottle of Mountain Dew on the sidewalk outside our hotel

"What do YOU know about open-mouthed lips?"
~My mom, to my brother, while watching Return of the King

"my best friend's brother, is, like, this gourmet chef, and he made us these gourmet cookies..."

(overlapping after "gourmet chef")

"my best friend's boyfriend is a drug dealer"

(pause)

"uh...then your best friend should get a new boyfriend"

"It's my boobs, isn't it? 'cause they're huge and yours aren't?"

-Two girls at a football game for Whitehall-Yearling highschool

Woman: What is she getting her BA in again? medicine?
Man: Yeah... [pause] You know, I think it's like, what's that other thing called, again? humanities?
Woman: Oh yeah! That's it!
Man: Well they're pretty much the same anyway
Man and woman on the bus in Berkeley. Why doesn't *anyone* seem to know what a humanity subject is??

"Hey, can you marry two people at once?"

"Um, no, that's polygamy. It's illegal."

"Oh, well, that's stupid! You should be able to do whatever you want, like kill children."

-my friend who seems to have a very vague understanding of civil liberties... and me, confused over dinner one night.

"...so, well, I really don't know what to do. You're telling me this and all I really keep hearing is that you love me, but you're in love with that hooker...No, you really think I would let you come home???? Gimmie a break, life is terrible for me b/c of you, and now it should be the same for you, only opposite."

---a woman on her cell, in a McDonalds in Avon, IN

"My mind is prettier when it's dumb than it is when it's stupid."
~My sister, in the middle of a conversation to me

"People hit my nose more than any other part of my body. That's why my nose is crooked."
~A girl at Extreme Faith, completely out of the blue

"Whoa! I can lift the pool table up with my feet!"
~A girl at Extreme Faith, her sleeping bag unrolled underneath the pool table