She was really excited about the last one.
Submitted by smokingjames on Thu, 01/27/2005 - 3:49am. Um...
"You should say it like 'cheeeese.' Like, 'cheese Jordan' or 'cheese an addict.' 'Cheese a glass of water!'"
--A girl in a diner bathroom to her friend in a stall.
Two, three, four, infinitity.
Submitted by smokingjames on Sun, 01/16/2005 - 7:37pm. Funny
professor: "How many planes can intersect collinear points B, C, D?
girl: "Two..."
boy: "Infinite."
girl: "Damn, infinite."
boy: "Sorry, nice try."
girl: "I was getting there."
boy: "What, were you counting?"
girl: "Yeah, I was starting at two."
--Two people to each other in a college geometry class.
No, seriously. Check it out. It's pretty funny.
Submitted by smokingjames on Thu, 12/23/2004 - 2:50am. Funny
"I don't mean to make fun of a blind or a dead person, but dude--check out this picture."
--A girl pointing out an old Ray Charles Christmas cd
Tell me you get it.
Submitted by smokingjames on Fri, 12/10/2004 - 10:14pm. Funny
"It's a spy code: he has a license to do no harm."
--A guy in response to a license plate reading: MD7

(okay, it's cheating, it was said dirctly to me. but c'mon, it's a fucking hippocratic oath joke! it doesn't get better than that.)
Question answered.
Submitted by smokingjames on Sat, 12/04/2004 - 1:00am. Funny
"What are you thinking?"
"What do you mean 'thinking'?"
--A guy to a (blond) girl at the Arclight just after watching Kinsey.
But in a skirt, well of course.
Submitted by smokingjames on Sat, 12/04/2004 - 12:41am. Um...
"Even in pants, she walks like a weirdo."
"That's just a bit too much method acting for me."
--Two women at the Arclight.
Submitted by smokingjames on Wed, 11/17/2004 - 12:22am. Bizarre
"No, no, no! He couldn't have been one of the three most important people in the world. He was from the future."
-Girl at a party.

"I have no idea what you're talking about."
-Guy at a party, in response, echoing my thoughts.
I wanted to say, "But you already are."
Submitted by smokingjames on Thu, 10/21/2004 - 8:47pm. Tragic
"...That's because heroin makes me want to be alive."
--A boy, in passing.
Otherwise known as the most inventive means of mass suicide.
Submitted by smokingjames on Thu, 09/09/2004 - 5:44pm. Bizarre
"Okay, get this: we get a trash can, one of those big plastic ones, and we cut a hole in the bottom. Then we attach those pool floats to it and put it upside down in the pool. We get, like, five or six people to push it down and then the pool floats will bring it back up. Then everyone swims up in it and takes a breath!"
--A guy at a party describing his fool-proof plan for the largest ever gravity bong.
( )
Submitted by smokingjames on Sat, 08/28/2004 - 4:27am. Beautiful
"Let's see what we're missing."
--A girl in an office building, just before pulling the shades back and seeing a rainbow right outside the window.