1 July 2005
Submitted by eve on Fri, 07/01/2005 - 2:06pm. Funny
"How about for every steak you eat, I'll eat one less tasty steak that week. Same net damage to the cow population, but you don't have to be 'The Vegetarian' every time we go out for dinner."
--A guy talking to a girl on BART.
Upper East side moms ...
Submitted by munchkin on Wed, 06/22/2005 - 3:53pm. Funny
Little boy: Crying
Impeccably dressed mother: "Why are you crying? What do you want to do?"
Little boy: Crying
Mother: "Here, I know what will make you feel better. We'll go get you a new outfit. Won't that be fun? Don't you want to go shopping?"
Little boy: Crying louder than ever and running away
Mother: "There, there. We're going shopping. It'll be alright."
4:00 a.m. at Denny's
Submitted by Somnambulist on Sat, 06/18/2005 - 3:31am. Funny
Guy 1: ...and then let's go home and watch C-Span... make fun of the Pope's hat...
Guy 2: *mutters something incomprehensible*
Guy 1: Hey, did you ever notice that the higher in position you go in church, the bigger your hat gets?
Guy 3: Yeah. I bet God wears a huge sombrero.
Guy 2: With tassels?
Guy 3: *laughs* Yeah.

--Three out of a group of six guys, five of which looked fairly hammered, and the sixth, bored and tired.
Boys will be boys...
Submitted by paul on Mon, 06/13/2005 - 8:02pm. Funny
"Kevin, look at this tree... Stop hitting it!"

--A mother to her boy, who was using a stick to slash at a leafy branch over his head.

Been there. They still do it as teens, but just on a different level now.
Ah, Caitlin, Caitlin, Caitlin....
Submitted by Sephiroths_Slave on Fri, 06/10/2005 - 2:40pm. Funny
Me: "Yeah, so I'm really into this band called 'Brand New' now."
Caitlin: "Really? What songs do they sing, Maybe I've heard of one."
Me: " 'Jude Law and the Semester Abroad'. "
Caitlin: "Jude Law sings?"

_I promised I'd stop poking fun at her, so this is my last cheap shot ;D_
Dont Forget
Submitted by Daniel Lehan on Fri, 06/10/2005 - 12:13pm. Funny
Conductor making announcement as train draws into the train station:

Ladies and Gentlemen, as you are probably aware, we are shortly arriving at Stratford Station. Please remember to take all your possessions with you: your small children … false teeth … your granddad … nagging wife … and miserable husband. Have a good journey wherever you are going !

3rd February 2004

District Line Railway Train, Stratford E15
Wuv you
Submitted by bushra on Fri, 06/10/2005 - 4:26am. Funny
birmingham, september 2004.

him: are you all right sittin' there? do you want to sit by me? why not sit by me? are you all right there? say 'i'm all right darren.'
her: ...
him: say 'i'm all right darren.'
her: 'm alright dawwen.
him: so i was watching terminator 2 the other day. have you seen terminator two? say 'i haven't darren.'
her: haven't dawwen.

full conversation here.
Cool Cats
Submitted by Daniel Lehan on Thu, 06/09/2005 - 11:30am. Funny
At the bottom of the escalator, two buskers loudly play a clarinet and a tambourine, accompanied by a pre – recorded soundtrack.

Both wear black and white Sylvester the Cat costumes.

3rd October 2003

Warren Street Underground Station, London W1
A, E, I, O, U
Submitted by Daniel Lehan on Thu, 06/09/2005 - 11:04am. Funny
Woman on mobile phone:

The training day was fun. We all had to make a, e, i, o and u noises and have a conversation just using those sounds. Imagine a whole room of women going

a a a a a !

e e e e e !

i i i i i !

o o o o o !

u u u u u !

2nd October 2003

Train to Manor Park from Stratford, London E15
Get outta town!
Submitted by icicle on Fri, 06/03/2005 - 10:46pm. Funny
"No! In '73? In a chicken coup? In Catalina?"

-Man speaking to someone on his cell phone while riding public transportation. One of my all time favorite quotes. I have no idea what he could have been talking about.