Two Signs (of the impending apocalypse?)
Submitted by Somnambulist on Sat, 08/12/2006 - 10:49pm. Scenes
1: A sign over a toilet in the shower/restroom trailer:
Water non-potable.
 Do not drink!!!
True enough, but couldn`t they have put the sign over by the sinks instead of inside one of the stalls?

2: A sign along a walk-way that is frequently covered in mud:
Mud and water do not mix!
Huh? But, but... *sigh* nevermind...
Porta-potty Wisdom[?]
Submitted by Somnambulist on Fri, 07/07/2006 - 3:24pm. Graffiti
1: In the beginning GOD said ``Chuck Norris`` and there was light.

2: No, you got it all wrong; GOD asked CHUCK permission to turn on the lights.

3: There are some things you shouldn`t joke about.

4: Lighten up! Besides, GOD told me it was funny.

5: No, no; he`s right... You shouldn`t joke about Chuck... he might roundhouse you.
All of these are written in different handwriting in a porta-potty somewhere in Iraq.
In which I discover myself to be a hypocrite...
Submitted by Somnambulist on Fri, 05/26/2006 - 3:49am. Other
I read the following on another site I frequent:

``Americans continue to be baffled by the fact that the rest of the globe practices good manners and polite language.``

My immediate reaction was, ``Hey; f#@% you, buddy...``, thereby proving the point, to a degree.

True enough, I suppose...
Submitted by Somnambulist on Sun, 04/30/2006 - 1:10am. Funny
"When somebody says stuff like, "The traffic is flamboyant!" and takes himself seriously, he's a moron!"

--Random field-grade officer, in a mess tent somewhere in Iraq.
More bathroom humor...
Submitted by Somnambulist on Sat, 03/25/2006 - 12:44pm. Graffiti
Found on a portapotty wall somewhere in southern Iraq:

Do you know why it's always so windy here?
Because Kuwait sucks and Iraq blows.
I AM the Anony Mouse!
Submitted by Somnambulist on Thu, 06/23/2005 - 5:56pm. Bizarre
Received in the mail today: an advertizing circular addressed to

TOWNSVILLE, XX #####-####

I don't know if I should be amused or irritated, so I shall be amusitated... or perhaps irrimused...

Note: The last two lines in the address are made up for the protection of any would-be stalkers... were they to stalk me, they would likely die of boredom... or elipsis overdose.
4:00 a.m. at Denny's
Submitted by Somnambulist on Sat, 06/18/2005 - 3:31am. Funny
Guy 1: ...and then let's go home and watch C-Span... make fun of the Pope's hat...
Guy 2: *mutters something incomprehensible*
Guy 1: Hey, did you ever notice that the higher in position you go in church, the bigger your hat gets?
Guy 3: Yeah. I bet God wears a huge sombrero.
Guy 2: With tassels?
Guy 3: *laughs* Yeah.

--Three out of a group of six guys, five of which looked fairly hammered, and the sixth, bored and tired.
I saw nary a Finn.
Submitted by Somnambulist on Thu, 06/02/2005 - 3:58pm. Ironic

--Part of a decal on the rear window of a car parked in Killeen, TX.
You can feel that?!?
Submitted by Somnambulist on Tue, 05/31/2005 - 7:41pm. Tragic
"...or anything that has a white texture..."

One of the several examples of misused words used today by a professional lecturer.
I would have caught more examples, but I was too busy trying to decipher what she was trying to say from what she actually said. It didn't help at all that she kept giving us 'Pacific' examples.
Oh Jesus...
Submitted by Somnambulist on Mon, 05/23/2005 - 4:44pm. Um...
"Before Jesus, you had to go to a priest to tell him your sins, and the priest would go to the Holy of Holies, and everyone would know your business. You couldn't just talk to God."
"Yeah, that would be like jumping Chain of Command."
"Yeah, but Jesus died to cut out the middleman."
--Two soldiers of a group of about ten, taking a short break in the motor pool.