"Is this REAL lasagna? With, like, noodles?"
~A girl at drama, asking about the food for our Christmas party

"You call me from the bar, okay? This one's a lot easier to explain under alcohol."

- one of our support personnel, on the phone with a client

"It's a spy code: he has a license to do no harm."
--A guy in response to a license plate reading: MD7

(okay, it's cheating, it was said dirctly to me. but c'mon, it's a fucking hippocratic oath joke! it doesn't get better than that.)

"Does anybody have any floss?"
~A guy in drama, his first line on entering the room

"What is this book doing in my crafts?"
"Um, I don't know."
"Throw it in the box with your soldering iron."
"But, that's the box I'm throwing out. Somewhere in a cold dark lonely corner, Intelligirly is crying."

Me and Mr Man discussing why a book was in my crafts box. To be fair, it was a book I never intended to read, and I seriously have no idea how it got in that box. Please, Intelligirly, don't cry. I took it to the local book exchange, and it lived to be read another day. *G*

"You know Nicole, if you were me, you could get boys too."

- during a calculus lecture

"You know, Nicole, if you were me, you could get boys too!"

- in the middle of a calculus lecture

"What are you thinking?"
"What do you mean 'thinking'?"
--A guy to a (blond) girl at the Arclight just after watching Kinsey.

"So I went to my grandfather's house and he had a fake christmas tree. i said grandfather why do you have a fake christmas tree? and he started going off on how so many christmas trees catch on fire and burn down houses every year, and after that he made me watch a video about it."

--one young girl talking to another on a train bound for new york city

"People never say, 'oh yeah, remember that cult I was in? I met her there.'"
--A guy talking on a cell phone at SFO