Archives
2 October 2004
Wisdom
"Well, wear clothes you can move in, and if you're going to wear pants, get a rubber band for the right cuff."
"Yeah, I was planning on wearing shorts, which solves that. But not boxer shorts. That's the wrong kind of able to move."
"You're never having children, you know that, right? Briefs supposedly impair that."
"Yeah, yeah, that's not a bad thing." *turning to walk off*
"That doesn't count as birth control!"
--A girl and a guy outside the Cheeseboard.
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Yeah, I should post more. See previously cited problems of working too much and interacting with the non-work (and therefore quotable) world too little. Working on it, though, don't give up on In Passing just yet...
"Yeah, I was planning on wearing shorts, which solves that. But not boxer shorts. That's the wrong kind of able to move."
"You're never having children, you know that, right? Briefs supposedly impair that."
"Yeah, yeah, that's not a bad thing." *turning to walk off*
"That doesn't count as birth control!"
--A girl and a guy outside the Cheeseboard.
-------------------------------
Yeah, I should post more. See previously cited problems of working too much and interacting with the non-work (and therefore quotable) world too little. Working on it, though, don't give up on In Passing just yet...
4 October 2004
Bizarre
"And I'm like, 'Do you realize that I practically eat tomatoes for a living?'"
--A man in the dairy section at Andronico's, talking on a cell phone.
--A man in the dairy section at Andronico's, talking on a cell phone.
16 October 2004
Bizarre
"Apparently he had to talk her out of naming the baby Nintafiv."
"Is that... Norwegian?"
"No, Nintafiv -- like, "nine to five", I think. But then it was a boy, and he convinced her that would be too cruel."
"Isn't she actually Norwegian, though?"
--Two women talking outside Thai House
"Is that... Norwegian?"
"No, Nintafiv -- like, "nine to five", I think. But then it was a boy, and he convinced her that would be too cruel."
"Isn't she actually Norwegian, though?"
--Two women talking outside Thai House
19 October 2004
Funny
"I say the directions were underspecified."
"Yes, but since I was the one who said, 'get a room', I thought you'd realize that I didn't mean mine."
--Two girls talking at Andronico's
"Yes, but since I was the one who said, 'get a room', I thought you'd realize that I didn't mean mine."
--Two girls talking at Andronico's
22 October 2004
Wisdom
"I hate to say it, but have you considered transferring your affections to a team with less of a suck factor? "
"No, see, that's the problem. Once the local guys lose, then I automatically root for whoever's the underdog."
"Oh, so you're screwed by design, then. You should reconsider that. Might be a less frustrating experience."
--A girl and a guy at Andronico's
"No, see, that's the problem. Once the local guys lose, then I automatically root for whoever's the underdog."
"Oh, so you're screwed by design, then. You should reconsider that. Might be a less frustrating experience."
--A girl and a guy at Andronico's
25 October 2004
Beautiful
"Oh, sure. Go on, invoke that wrath. Brilliant."
--A guy to a girl at Mars
--A guy to a girl at Mars
1 November 2004
Funny
"How was the party?"
"We had two different girls, and one guy who dressed as Ashlee Simpson. Brown wig and a tape recorder."
"Oh. Closet fans in mourning."
--Two guys at Safeway
"We had two different girls, and one guy who dressed as Ashlee Simpson. Brown wig and a tape recorder."
"Oh. Closet fans in mourning."
--Two guys at Safeway
2 November 2004
News
5 November 2004
Funny
"At first I thought he was high, but it turned out he was just a Scientologist."
"Huh. I don't really know much about them."
"Oh, there's a lot there. I thought you were the religion guru?"
"No, the only unusual religions I really know a lot about are the ones that South Park has made fun of."
--Two guys talking on AC Transit
"Huh. I don't really know much about them."
"Oh, there's a lot there. I thought you were the religion guru?"
"No, the only unusual religions I really know a lot about are the ones that South Park has made fun of."
--Two guys talking on AC Transit
6 November 2004
Bizarre
"Yeah, I was woken up at 4am when her boyfriend went to the bathroom. I tell you tall guys? Farther to fall, much louder in the bowl. I'm serious."
--A girl talking at the next table over at Tsing Tao
--A girl talking at the next table over at Tsing Tao
1 December 2004
Funny
"People never say, 'oh yeah, remember that cult I was in? I met her there.'"
--A guy talking on a cell phone at SFO
--A guy talking on a cell phone at SFO
19 December 2004
Funny
"When he said he wouldn't recommend French wine out of protest I was like, fine, and I'll have a side of freedom fries to go with that. But then when he said that real mulled wine had pineapple and maraschino cherries in it I was like, dude, go on hating the French. Because they all hate you for what you've done to vin chaud."
--A girl talking to another girl at Andronico's.
--A girl talking to another girl at Andronico's.
30 December 2004
Beautiful
"Sure, for values of 'neat' that involve you not getting your security deposit back."
--A girl to a guy walking down Fulton st
--A girl to a guy walking down Fulton st
11 January 2005
Beautiful
"Did you see that? What that Hummer just did? Why do I get moving violations and that guy zooms off?"
"Well, I think that's technically legal. Though not advised, and kind of a dick thing to do. Kind of like driving a Hummer, I guess."
--Two guys talking on Oxford st
"Well, I think that's technically legal. Though not advised, and kind of a dick thing to do. Kind of like driving a Hummer, I guess."
--Two guys talking on Oxford st
5 February 2005
Beautiful
"So this girl today... she was totally my type."
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah. She was kinda... early thirties. Not older than 33, and...
" What's that mean? Your type?"
"Well, like, she was kinda earthy and really... she was just original. She had this cardboard horse head on her bike -- so it looked like a horse. And she got on the bus at my stop and we talked and it was just... nice."
--A guy and a girl talking at Amoeba
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah. She was kinda... early thirties. Not older than 33, and...
" What's that mean? Your type?"
"Well, like, she was kinda earthy and really... she was just original. She had this cardboard horse head on her bike -- so it looked like a horse. And she got on the bus at my stop and we talked and it was just... nice."
--A guy and a girl talking at Amoeba
11 February 2005
Beautiful
"Let me put it to you this way, bottom line: if any half of a Jerry Bruckheimer movie makes you cry, you are living a terrible life."
--A guy talking to a couple of guys at Safeway.
--A guy talking to a couple of guys at Safeway.
20 February 2004
Wisdom
"I'm not saying never. I'm just saying, until your job title is something like, 'Snoop's entourage member #6', you can't call them your cizzo-workas. "
--An exasperated guy talking on a cell phone at Andronico's.
--An exasperated guy talking on a cell phone at Andronico's.
17 March 2005
Funny
"I do not meet many people like you. I think, somehow, you must forgive me, perhaps we are both connected somehow?"
"Well, I'm a gemini, when were you born?"
--A very earnest man, and a woman, at the Cinnabon in the SJC Norman Y. Mineta airport.
"Well, I'm a gemini, when were you born?"
--A very earnest man, and a woman, at the Cinnabon in the SJC Norman Y. Mineta airport.
24 April 2005
Funny
"Well, I think giving gifts is a sign of endorsement."
"Sure."
"Remember that bed your mother gave us?"
"Our bed?"
"Yes, she gave it to us. It was very sweet."
"She was trying to get rid of it."
"But she gave it to us. I really took that as the first time she accepted me."
"You know Goodwill wouldn't take it?"
--A woman, and a man who apparently never wanted to sleep in that bed again, at Fressen, in Toronto.
"Sure."
"Remember that bed your mother gave us?"
"Our bed?"
"Yes, she gave it to us. It was very sweet."
"She was trying to get rid of it."
"But she gave it to us. I really took that as the first time she accepted me."
"You know Goodwill wouldn't take it?"
--A woman, and a man who apparently never wanted to sleep in that bed again, at Fressen, in Toronto.