Wiggi Wiggi Wiggi Wiggi Woggi Woggi Woggi Woggi Stayin Alive Stayin Alive. (and so on. . .)

(For some reason I was singing this last night)

"Yeah, that happened to me once too. But we stuck one of those really hot peppers up his nose when he was totally wasted. You know? One of those Halepanos. He got really p*ssed but he couldn't walk, so it was funny." Grungy looking guy at my school

"Dude, when I told you she was a hot lesbian, I didn't think that you'd look her up in the year book"
Boy to girl in High School Hallway

"She looks totaly like Harry Potter"
-this lady to another in a chinese restaurant

“I’m just going to sit right here because the moment this stuff starts thrilling me, I’m just going to end my life.”
— A teen boy to his mother as they are shopping together at Restoration Hardware (Walnut Creek, CA)

"Wouldn't it be such a great idea to go on an Ex-Lax diet? I mean, you eat chocolate all day and lose a ton of weight!"

-A super-skinny (and super-dumb) girl in chemistry

Me: "You know, I have a slight case of OCD."
Friend: "Ocked?"

-That was my increadably intellegent friend, Kristin... How do I find these people? Lol, j/k, guys, j/k!

"in my sophomore year, i wanted to be a tapdancing porn star."
-girl, talking to her friend while using a computer.

Loud conversation between an American guy, his Thai girlfriend and a Thai male friend in a family restaurant in Bangkok -

"She always sticks her finger up my butt, I hate it when she does that".

"I don't!"

"Stop lying, you do. You know in a Christian society it's wrong to lie? Hey, it's wrong to lie in a Buddhist society too isn't it? Bad thing happens to Buddhists if they lie. It's wrong to lie in all religions. Admit it, you stick your fingers up my butt!

"I don't, I don't!"

(to Thai friend) "She's gonna call you tomorrow crying cos I dumped her for sticking her fingers up my butthole. I don't like things going up my butt, I'm not a girl. Come on, your English is good. You understand what I'm saying. I-DO-NOT-LIKE-THAT! No fingers, no foreign objects. I AM NOT A PUPPET!"

"My mother used to make it for us when I was a kid. I used to smear it all over my body and walk in front of cars. Like a white woman."

-An old lady at work, on the wonders of rice pudding. Either it was some sort of poorly-conceived joke, or she's finally going senile. She's white, by the way.