"I have to demonstrate the comfy butt-chairs!"
~A girl in SALT, rushing to show people how to sit in these new chairs we got

"I can sew. I think."
~A guy in SALT, offering to make slip covers for couches

"There's a BEAR coming!"
~My nine-year-old sister, running, panicked, through the room. There is NOT likely to be a bear in the middle of this Illinois town...

"I sit there petrified that all I have heard about this movie was wrong and that the characters are suddenly going to grab bloody axes and run around screaming 'Blood! Guts! Murder! Yeah! Fun!' and that feeling of forboding is not very conducive to liking a movie."
~A girl on why she doesn't like movies the first time through

"Look at how fat my fingers are."
"Why are your fingers fat?"
"Water retention."
"Why are you retaining water? Are you pregnant?"
"Hey, hey, hey, guys, stop. That's how rumors start. By this time next week, you'll be pregnant."
"Oh, great, now you're just going to go out and do it anyway."
~Three girls in Sunday school (one of them a leader).

"Your watch was behind mine and now it's behind mine!"
~My sister, trying to synchronize our watches.

"And so I was like, 'Mom! I can't take a shower, because the bathtub is all dirty and full of...TIM!'"
~A girl in Sunday school, ranting and raving

"Is that a nose spray?"
"No, it's a cross."
"A nose spray? What the heck is a nose spray?"
~Two girls and a guy on the bus, looking at a tiny cross-shaped bubbles thingy

"Your cat's a drunk?"
(and then, seconds later)
"Oh! I thought you mean your cat called your mom's boyfriend Cosmetic Carl!"
~A guy on the bus behind me, talking very loudly

"Don't vampires put you in a trance or something?"
"That's why you shouldn't smoke."
~Me and my sister. I'm not quite sure what she was thinking.