"yeah, i was just taking a piss...

well, i was sitting down...

you get lazy.....you know?"

-my neighbor on his cell phone

Two college boys across the hall:

"Dude, I can make my boobs like bigger than girls"

"Uh, but that's not boobs, that's like your..diaphram..."

"my best friend's brother, is, like, this gourmet chef, and he made us these gourmet cookies..."

(overlapping after "gourmet chef")

"my best friend's boyfriend is a drug dealer"

(pause)

"uh...then your best friend should get a new boyfriend"