29 November 2000
Submitted by eve on Wed, 11/29/2000 - 11:37pm. Graffiti
"Who can explain protein synthesis?"
"It's the work of the devil!"
--Two messages scrawled on the wall near a desk in a remote corner of the library
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Posted by Anne Onymous on Tue, 04/08/2003 - 12:22pm.
Archived comment by PGS:
Time Check
Posted by Anne Onymous on Wed, 03/26/2003 - 11:36am.
Archived comment by Arvid:
No, no it was all a misunderstanding. Chickens just can't read well [namelink]

And just as a side note it feels very strange commenting in a thread that's been inactive for nearly 2 years.
Posted by Anne Onymous on Sun, 12/23/2001 - 11:32pm.
Archived comment by Saint:
If I remember correctly from Bible as Lit, Lucifer and Satan are NOT the same dude.

Satan was the Adversary in more-or-less legal sense, as Arlene has said; in fact, "Satan" is derived from a Hebrew word that basically means "prosecuting attorney."

I also seem to remember that Lucifer got a bad rap. His name was mentioned in some passage along the lines of "Oh Lucifer how far thou are fallen" (not the exact quote, obviously, but something like that). Problem is, the text was actually refering to a bad king, and Lucifer's name was just thrown in for emphasis. Change the line to "Oh God how far thou are fallen" and you see what I mean.
Posted by Anne Onymous on Wed, 08/15/2001 - 4:55am.
Archived comment by Jon T:
oops, I forgot the 'W'
Posted by Anne Onymous on Wed, 08/15/2001 - 4:41am.
Archived comment by Jon T:
What does this make George Bush now that he's approved stem cell research?
Posted by Anne Onymous on Fri, 12/08/2000 - 12:07pm.
Archived comment by Mike:
Really, Chris? I would think that he'd just hella-commute.
Posted by Anne Onymous on Thu, 12/07/2000 - 1:56pm.
Archived comment by Chris Jennings:
Satan drives to work.
--Written on a wall visable from the street
Posted by Anne Onymous on Thu, 12/07/2000 - 12:46pm.
Archived comment by Jon:
Thanks to Mike and Passerby for their comments. Having celebrated a version of Saturnalia on some occasions(I think it's in mid-December), I rather like it better than Xmas.

Also, check out Salon.com for a story about enjoying the holidays. It is full of delightful sarcasm and humor, and makes good points about the modern version of Xmas. Plus, it has a short but illuminating history of St. Nicholas!
Posted by Anne Onymous on Wed, 12/06/2000 - 4:11pm.
Archived comment by steff:
nah, we still love you seleta. 'course, i'm speaking as someone raised baptist, although no longer any where near practicing. ah, no. not evil triplets. satan, santa, and stan. sheesh.
Posted by Anne Onymous on Tue, 12/05/2000 - 5:28pm.
Archived comment by Mike:
Oh, yeah-- the cursing and personal attacks are okay, but Christianity??? Begone, seleta!!!
Satan as a prima donna bandleader gone bad? Seems oddly appropriate.
Posted by Anne Onymous on Tue, 12/05/2000 - 1:25pm.
Archived comment by seleta:
actually, according to the old testament and scholars in apologetics, Lucifer (the devil) was an archangel, like Gabriel and Michael. Gabriel was over the messengers of Heaven, Michael over the warriors, and Lucifer over the "chorus" if you will...over praise and worship...he was the most beautiful of angels and there was music as he walked, etc. he (Lucifer) decided he was more beautiful than God and deserved the praise and worship due God and started a rebellion. he (again, Lucifer) and the hosts of angels under his command were cast from heaven and given rule over the earth and were told even at that time that God would always be stronger and would be victorious in the end...no matter how things appeared. It is accurate to say Lucifer hates humans...it stands to reason that if God created them for His pleasure and to give glory, and Lucifer wants that same glory, he and his minions will stay very busy in order to distract humans from fulfilling their purpose...whether that distraction is deception, distrust, pain, anger, or whatever you can imagine.

...my only editorial comment is that i find it rather unfortunate that God did not take his beauty from him...

ok, ya'll...no sermon intended *what-so-ever*, but the "learned" (pronounced learn-ed) preacher's kid in me couldn't resist...love ya all...please don't kill me....please....boy, this one probably *will* get deleted
Posted by Anne Onymous on Tue, 12/05/2000 - 12:31pm.
Archived comment by Arlene:
That Snopes site is great. I love knowing how rituals & traditions got started. Actually, there are some Christian churches that would not have a problem with this discussion (ie the origin of certain Christian/Christmas traditions). Most Unitarians (tho not all) welcome discussions like this.

As for the devil, according to a Jewish friend of mine, in the OT he wasn't a fallen angel, he was just an angel who didn't like humans, he was the 'advocate for the opposition' (a _real_ devil's advocate).
Posted by Anne Onymous on Mon, 12/04/2000 - 2:32pm.
Archived comment by RalphSmouse:
Always remember my children, God loves you, Jesus loves you, the minions of Hell want to make love to you, Satan loves the things you do. AHHHHHHHH The Joy of Destruction
Posted by Anne Onymous on Sun, 12/03/2000 - 8:19pm.
Archived comment by Mike:
(grinning)
...And with this thread, this website has effectively become banned in every building even remotely affiliated with *any* Christian church.
(sigh)
Oh, well, there go my hopes of secretly worming my way into the Christian Coalition through here and bringing it down from inside....

Of course, some people consider us *tame*. (hi, Dr Evil!)
Posted by Anne Onymous on Sun, 12/03/2000 - 8:10pm.
Archived comment by Passerby:
He was born closer to when His death and resurrection are celebrated (probably mid to late April),and the Roman calendar which we all use is widely known to be approximately 3 years off;so, if the crazies had been correct and He was to return in the year 2000, it actually would have taken place in the year 1997.

Jewish holidays and Pagan are the ones that have remained the most unblemished throughout history...isn't *that* ironic? (from the standpoint of them being very philosophically opposed)

Also ironic is that Satan is the "father of lies" and yet the "Church" (not specifically one denomination) has often fallen into a trap of lies by glossing over Pagan holidays with it's own. Sad...very sad.
Posted by Anne Onymous on Sun, 12/03/2000 - 2:58pm.
Archived comment by boB:
Check out snopes.com on this one, they've an entire section on Christmas legends. Hopefully I put the direct link into my name, above.

The practical upshot (for the lazy) is that Mike is quite correct, but in the beginning there was no deception involved - the Church realized it needed a winter celebration to compete with the pagans and so decided to start celebrating the birth of one of the most recognizable figures. Jesus was no more born on December 25th than he was born in the year zero.
Posted by Anne Onymous on Sun, 12/03/2000 - 1:48pm.
Archived comment by Mike:
Jon:
Arlene brought up something along the lines of this subject in an earlier comment, but yes-- "Santa" does sound similar to "Satan," and I'm pretty sure that it may not be just a mistake. Nick, as in "Saint Nick," is also another obscure name for the devil. And the references to Santa as a "jolly old elf" don't seem to be more grounded in old-style mythology than anything Biblical. "'Tween earth and hell, we reign supreme..."
Most Christian holidays are really just weak attempts to cover over older pagan holidays, anyway. Who says Jesus was born on December 25? That date was chosen strictly to block out the older celebrations like Saturnalia. (Or so I've heard.)
Anyway, I'm glad that the paganistic aspects of the most popular Christian holidays still tend to outshine the slapped-on Biblical features. What did you remember best about Easter as a child-- Jesus' return from the grave, or the eggs and bunnies? Actually, I think I heard that Eastre is the name of some European fertility goddess. And like Arlene said, the Christmas tree is a symbol of fertility. The Christians may have managed to change Samhain into "Halloween," but who in their right minds celebrates All Souls Day the day after trick-or-treating?
Uh... sorry for rambling. The moral of the story is: heathens are everywhere and Satan reigns supreme. I, for one, am pretty okay with that.
Posted by Anne Onymous on Sun, 12/03/2000 - 6:43am.
Archived comment by WendiWolf:
stef- The Carl reference was to my first Organic Chem proff. I failed his 2nd semester class twice, but when I took it at a different school, I got a high B and did less studying... That man has _got_ to be related to Satan somehow...
Posted by Anne Onymous on Sat, 12/02/2000 - 12:04pm.
Archived comment by Jon:
Working tech for "Miracle on 34th St." I can't help but wonder at the similarity of the names Santa and Satan... Satan Claws, anyone? (Apologies to Tim Burton)
Posted by Anne Onymous on Sat, 12/02/2000 - 9:53am.
Archived comment by steff:
mike, i know the feeling about being out of place just slightly no matter which place you go. fortunately, i don't care. =P i probably would have let loose one of those embarassing snorts at the hantavirus comment. and, and, there's something about satan's evil twin carl. it rings a bell that i thought i had muffled. what is it? WHAT IS IT?? something to do with my sister and carl wanting a wife. or was it stan? hm. that's it. STAN is satan's evil twin, which fits right in with the annoying habit of naming twins similar names. er. c'mon sis, i know this has something to do with you. quit lurking and help me out! i sound like a complete nut job here.
Posted by Anne Onymous on Sat, 12/02/2000 - 7:09am.
Archived comment by Mike:
Does Satan drive all the way to Hell's Kitchen when he's hungry?
Posted by Anne Onymous on Fri, 12/01/2000 - 8:06am.
Archived comment by Arlene:
TANGENT:
*snicker* CARY (small town near Raleigh,NC, now the victim of much development)= Containment Area for Relocated Yankees.
Thanks to that (*^%%* article a few years ago that labeled Raleigh-Durham as the No 1 place to live in the US, the area has been invaded. Most are fine, the remainder however have given a Yankees the worst name they've had in this area since the latter half of the 19th century (US history, people, look it up).

Posted by Anne Onymous on Thu, 11/30/2000 - 5:00pm.
Archived comment by WendiWolf:
Victor-
You're surprised that he's a Jersey native? Sorry, I live next door to that foreign planet in Pennsylvania. I've dealt with enough people from New Jersey to know that that is where all the lesser evils and some of the greater evils lurk and cause havoc. To think that their motto is "the garden state" Deffinately not the Garden of Eden in my oppinion.
(I do appologize to any New Jersey natives I've offended (or non-natives for that matter) but you must realize it's kinda a running joke with those of us who live on the western side of Philadelphia...)
Posted by Anne Onymous on Thu, 11/30/2000 - 4:43pm.
Archived comment by Victor Kim:
No, thats not true. The devil cannot be credited with the workings of protein synthesis becuase the devil has been indisposed and preoccupied as my dorm roomate with the task of making hell in my living arrangement in order to prepare for some sort of armaggedon. -- How do i know? because there is *absolutely no* other way to explain it.

sooo if you ever find something thats suspect of being satans' work, just ask me and ill ask my devil-incarnate-roomate if he's the culprit.

some interesting facts about Hell's keeper: he's a New Jersey native; Likes britney spears over christina aguilera; and is responsible for pain, but *not* suffering.


(suffering is the work of the Republican party)
Posted by Anne Onymous on Thu, 11/30/2000 - 1:12pm.
Archived comment by WendiWolf:
(I thought I'd posted this earlier, but must have not actually hit the button)
Mike- I according to _my_ proff it is kite-en. But then again, I had 2 proffs say duodenum differently.
I love your puns as always, but for being a graduated bio major, I can't think of anything to add, my mind is blank! (gotta get more of those neurotransmitters flowing I guess...) I guess that's why I'm in computers now. (Actually, it does have _something_ to do with biology. I work with software that monitors smokestack emmisions.)
Back to the devil comment, Organic Chemistry is the work of the devil's evil twin brother Carl.
Posted by Anne Onymous on Thu, 11/30/2000 - 11:10am.
Archived comment by Arlene:
Tangent:
I never stopped to get their names. Although my friend who got told that she was going to hell, _especially_ after she announced that she was Buddhist, saw him in her home town of Boulder, CO in a mall. He saw her, recognized that he had seen her but not the circumstances & said, "& this woman can testify that I have been traveling the country witnessing the Word." She added, "Yeah, you were an asshole there, too."
Posted by Anne Onymous on Thu, 11/30/2000 - 10:55am.
Archived comment by Mike:
When it comes to school or work, the choice is clear.
Posted by Anne Onymous on Thu, 11/30/2000 - 10:52am.
Archived comment by TimDog:
It's these questions that make me second guess my decision to go back to school in the spring :(
Posted by Anne Onymous on Thu, 11/30/2000 - 10:46am.
Archived comment by Mike:
AG:
It's not easy being an ex-biology English major. Some things just don't carry over well.

TEACHER: Now, the conceit of this poem is a mouse motif. What words do you think of when you hear the word mouse?
ME: (caught off guard) Uh, hantavirus?
(dead silence)
That would have gone over *so* well in microbiology class...
(silence continues)
I, I have to go to the bathroom....

I shouldn't be so rough on them, though. My chemistry class would give me the same treatment whenever I brought up a book or a story reference. (Even science fiction!)
Maybe I'm just an anomalous freak no matter *where* I go....
Posted by Anne Onymous on Thu, 11/30/2000 - 10:37am.
Archived comment by seleta:
Montygirl, can I adopt that motto???

Oh, CAM2, Honey.....
Posted by Anne Onymous on Thu, 11/30/2000 - 10:33am.
Archived comment by Montygirl:
Alas, I am weak: I cannot resist bulging, ahem, biceps, and tremble in the presence of a a great set of abs. The temptation in just too great. Yes, I am helplessly defenseless at the gym surronded by all that muscle. But, (one of my 37) motto is, "Be naughty, save Santa the trip."

But, like someone wrote earlier, "You gotta die of something." And if its like this, what a way to go! ;)

Posted by Anne Onymous on Thu, 11/30/2000 - 9:57am.
Archived comment by AG:
Your puns and jokes are great. I happen to be a scientist who works in a lab 12 hours a day. When I take my frequent breaks so I don't lose my vision from looking thru microscopes all day, I come here. Seeing humor related to my field leaves me giggling for the rest of the day and my co-workers are wondering if I've truly become that 1 in 13 biologist that goes nutty from being in a lab all day. Maybe I just sniffed too much ethylene....

So as for protein synthesis... I agree, the devil was dappling in the lab for sure!!
Posted by Anne Onymous on Thu, 11/30/2000 - 8:54am.
Archived comment by Mike:
(biology terms come flooding back)
Yeah, Thom, Go! Browbeat those scientists! Protein syntesis tends to make a person insulin. You have to make them steroid into the fires of Hell before they repent. Sometimes you have to call and collagen before they see the light. If you want ev-elastin life, there's just no chitin!
(Or is it pronounced "CHY-tin"? hmmm.)
Posted by Anne Onymous on Thu, 11/30/2000 - 8:46am.
Archived comment by CAM2:
Arlene, that wouldn't be Brother Jed and Sister Cindy, now would it? They were regulars outside our student union . . .
Posted by Anne Onymous on Thu, 11/30/2000 - 8:45am.
Archived comment by Matt:
So that's why holy men are always these super-skinny guys!
And, of course, on the other side, bodybuilders, who stand as testaments (bad pun, sorry) to the power of protein synthesis, are the devil's vessels! It's all coming clear to me now! We must embrace the evils of massive quads and bulging biceps!
Posted by Anne Onymous on Thu, 11/30/2000 - 8:24am.
Archived comment by Thom:
YEAAAH ALL YOU SINNERS!!!
Repent your evil wicked ways.
I see you in that lab with your petri dishes and frightened look on your faces.
I offer the only salvation you can find on this miserable planet.
Send what you can afford to the e-mail above and I too shall open the pearly gates for yeee.
Posted by Anne Onymous on Thu, 11/30/2000 - 8:06am.
Archived comment by Arlene:
Tangent:
& thus I am reminded of the pit preachers (pit= campus gathering spot between the main cafeteria, the main student store, 2 libraries & the student union). They stand there & harangue the students passing by & are very popular with the hecklers. My favorite responses to them include: "Which God?", "I'm not going to hell, I'm pagan", "Go to your own hell, I'm Buddhist", & "I don't care if it is a day of rest, if I have a test on Monday, I'm studying."
Posted by Anne Onymous on Thu, 11/30/2000 - 5:57am.
Archived comment by Mike:
Yes, it's true! Satan himself is responsible for tempting proteins into synthesis, which occurs whenever they disobey any of the Nucleic Commandments. My favorites are:

1) I am the lord thy Nucleus. Thou shalt have no other DNA before me.
2)Thou shalt not make unto me any viral image or any likeness of any microbe that is in heaven above, earth beneath, or the water under the earth.
3)Thou shalt not take the tRNA of the lord thy Nucleus in vain.
5)Honor thy ribosomes and thy mRNA.
6)Thou shalt not denature.
9) (for antibodies) Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighboring cell.

The Devil delights in pulling proteins from the path of righteousness. Pray for protein salvation!
Posted by Anne Onymous on Thu, 11/30/2000 - 5:27am.
Archived comment by WendiWolf:
Protein synthesis IS the work of the devil, at least at 3am when studying for a bio exam that is a do-or-die, gotta ace this to pass the course kind of exam....
*shudders at the memories*
Posted by Anne Onymous on Thu, 11/30/2000 - 4:14am.
Archived comment by nightfever:
Well, the Devil might be a scientist...
I know a lot of scientists and He would be among equals with them...

;)
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