`Somebody NEEDS 2 make a complaint about these dirty restrooms at Customer Service.`

--it would be sort of ironic even if it were written in ink. But no, it was written in shit, on the back of the stall door. Wal-Mart, Cortez, CO.

1: In the beginning GOD said ``Chuck Norris`` and there was light.

2: No, you got it all wrong; GOD asked CHUCK permission to turn on the lights.

3: There are some things you shouldn`t joke about.

4: Lighten up! Besides, GOD told me it was funny.

5: No, no; he`s right... You shouldn`t joke about Chuck... he might roundhouse you.
___________________________________________________________________________________________
All of these are written in different handwriting in a porta-potty somewhere in Iraq.

Found on a portapotty wall somewhere in southern Iraq:

Do you know why it's always so windy here?
Because Kuwait sucks and Iraq blows.

"Beware of the Handicapped"

--A sign in a driveway that caused me to circle my bike back and check again. Yeah, there was an "A" missing between the first two words, which was good because I was on a hill and someone in a wheelchair could've totally rushed out and bitten me on the leg before I could pedal away.

graffiti: Brian Loves Trogdor!

I saw that on an overpass on the way home from South Carolina. I think it was actually in North Carolina though.

"What Would Joseph Stalin Do?"

I don't remember what they all were, but people had added a list of things such as "Kill political enemies" "Send people to the Gulag" etc. underneath it...

"COUNT DRUNCULA wants to steal your weed"
"IGOR, LIGHT ME UP A SPLIFF!"

-carved into a ceiling beam in the living room at a party I went to last night

Seen: a campaign sticker for some local politician named Pratt, in the rear window of a Volvo. The driver was going about 10 mph below the posted speed limit on a busy city street, causing cars to merge and flow by her in the right hand lane (it's four lanes, even though it's in a 30 mph residential area.) Basically, she was driving very badly.

I think the sticker was a very appropriate label for her.

"I GOT SUNSHINE, IN A BAG! I'M STUPID!"

-Graffiti in a Colmar, PA train station. I think it's supposed to be lyrics from a Gorillaz song, but that should be "useless," not "stupid." Then again, maybe it doesn't have anything to do with the song.