"Your parents named you Ash? Wow, that's a great name!"
"Yeah. I like it and it's pretty poetic. You know...'Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.'"
"Oh. I thought you were named after that Army of Darkness guy."
— A girl and a guy, both drunk, at a bar in the Castro (San Francisco, CA)

"You need to get over her. You need to try blur dating."
"Try WHAT?!"
"Blur dating. You date as many people of the opposite sex as you can in quick succession. You should date each of them for just one really stellar quality – they're incredibly witty, unbelievably hot, earth-shaking in bed, or whatever. It could be that you just really like her shoes – it doesn't matter. Then, you make sure that you remain just drunk enough the entire time that they all start to blur into one person. Like...they become this ideal woman."
"I don't think I'd be able to do that, what with needing to keep my integrity intact and all."
"Well, you don't see any of them often enough to form any deep, meaningful relationship – that's exactly what you don't want. You see....it's kind of the Drano method of getting over an ex. It'll clean you out, but it leaves you feeling a bit hollow."
— two guys talking over coffee in a cafe (Emeryville, CA)

"You know that you Catholics are considered pagans by some? Because worshipping Mary is blasphemous."
"Oh! Well... Um, you don't worship her like you do God. You just ask her to pray on your behalf. She kinda helps you out."
"What? So Mary can just make Jesus listen to your prayers?"
"Well, you know. Jewish mother."
— a guy and two apparently Catholic women at TGIFridays in Jack London Square (Oakland, CA)

"Are you going to see Lord of the Rings tomorrow?"
"No. I don't like sci-fi movies."
— A guy and a girl in the Adam's Point District (Oakland, CA)

---

I almost placed this under "Tragic" because even if she isn't a fan of the movies, this girl was old enough to have taken a literature class or two. Plus, with the hype around the movies for the last three years, she must have heard that elves, wizards and dwarves were involved somehow. Even my completely disinterested friend knows the difference between fantasy and science fiction.

"...then I said, 'Well, I like carrots.' And he got really excited: 'OH MY GOD! MEEEEEE TOOOOOO! We have such similar tastes!' It's like he thinks it's some kind of sign."
"What, so liking carrots makes you destined for each other?"
"Apparently."
"You realize...that makes you the ideal mate for like, 95% of the human race."
— A girl and a guy walking through the shops at Fisherman's Warf (San Francisco, CA)

"Look, you can help me by carrying up those two boxes."
"I can't lift both those boxes! They're too heavy."
"But what about all that time you spend at the gym?"
"Oh. That's just for looks."
— A girl with a guy "helping" her move into an apartment near Lake Merritt (Oakland, CA)