> ]> zytka's blog http://www.inpassing.org/blog/view/416 enNow or never http://www.inpassing.org/node/view/2908 “Instant gratification takes too long!”<br /> — A coworker outside my office (Emeryville, CA)As foretold... http://www.inpassing.org/node/view/2787 “Wait for the prognosticator, man!”<br /> &mdash; A very drunk man, beer bottle in hand, shouting from the patio of a bar & grill (Walnut Creek, CA)Teen Angst http://www.inpassing.org/node/view/2786 “I’m just going to sit right here because the moment this stuff starts thrilling me, I’m just going to end my life.”<br /> &mdash; A teen boy to his mother as they are shopping together at Restoration Hardware (Walnut Creek, CA)A little knowledge... http://www.inpassing.org/node/view/2778 "What knowledge do you think was sacrificed in favor of your alarming capacity for pop culture?"<br /> "Who knows? I might have the brain cell that was destined to hold the cure for cancer, but instead I filled it with Madonna lyrics."<br /> &mdash; a guy and a girl chatting at the corner of Durant and Shattuck (Berkeley CA)The art of zen http://www.inpassing.org/node/view/2774 "Do I look calm to you?"<br /> "Yes...you look fine."<br /> "You see, I just separated from my husband and I feel so <i>calm</i>. Isn't it amazing that I'm so calm? So calm that I don't even have to <i>talk</i> about it."<br /> &mdash; a woman at the check-out speaking to the Long's cashier (Rockridge, CA)Psychosomatic http://www.inpassing.org/node/view/2772 "You know what your lupus is, right?"<br /> "Ahhhhhhhhnnnnnnnn autoimmune disorder..."<br /> "It's self-loathing at a molecular level."<br /> "Cellular level."<br /> "Right. At a cellular level, your body hates itself and is trying to kill you off."<br /> "You think they have therapy for that kind of thing?"<br /> "Well, if they don't, they should. I think it could really help you learn to love yourself."<br /> &mdash; my friend and I discussing my visit to the rheumatologist yesterday. (Emeryville, CA)Names not changed to protect the innocent... http://www.inpassing.org/node/view/2771 "He's quieter than Nolan, isn't he?"<br /> "Yeah...he's more reserved &ndash; Nolan's a lot more interactive. If Nolan were a dog, he'd be a golden retriever. If Fayvor were a do&ndash;"<br /> "Oh. I thought you'd say beagle for Nolan."<br /> "Beagles are dumb; he's not a beagle."<br /> "No, they aren't! And I was thinking of the energy levels – they're kinda hyper."<br /> "But they're dumb."<br /> "I thought they were smart. Our beagle is smart...she just has doggie ADD or something...but whatever. And Fayvor?"<br /> "If Fayvor were a dog... Ummm... He'd be a cat."<br /> &mdash; a lunch discussion at Asquew Grille about two brothers (Emeryville, CA)The Flying Squirrelzinis http://www.inpassing.org/node/view/2728 "You've gotta eat, man. Don't let those squirrels fuck with your diet and get your stomach all messed up. A man can't live on bugs and nuts for a year without suffering irreversible mental deterioration. It's a fact. God damn, if I had a bunch of squirrels, I'd buy a BIG TENT and start a traveling squirrel circus. Tiny little flying trapeze, squirrel clowns and a squirrel car. A squirrel cannon would be cool, too. You could probably fit about a hundred of those little irascible varmints in the barrel if you used a tamper."<br /> &mdash; A guy ranting during a conversation which, I swear, started due to concern about how his friend in the London area was ok (San Francisco, CA)Monkey Men http://www.inpassing.org/node/view/2727 "If Steve Martin and Robin Williams ever backed into each other, they'd stick like velcro."<br /> &mdash; a guy making coffee while talking about the hairiness of the two comedians (Emeryville, CA)Dash of gall http://www.inpassing.org/node/view/2724 "My point would have been much more impressive if you hadn't brought that up."<br /> "Yeah, I had the gall to bring facts into the situation."<br /> &mdash; two guys at my office during a good-natured argument (Emeryville, CA)Commentary http://www.inpassing.org/node/view/2696 "It's better than chipmunks! Better than <i>lesbian</i> chipmunks!"<br /> &mdash; a woman commenting on an action scene in the movie <a href="http://imdb.com/title/tt0311361/" target="new">Jesus Christ, Vampire Hunter</a> (Oakland, CA)Do or do not, there is no try. http://www.inpassing.org/node/view/2672 "I'm mixing and matching. I'm trying to bring balance to the force via M&Ms."<br /> &mdash; a coworker commenting on his method of eating <a href="http://shop.mms.com/starwars/index.asp?cid=59&UID=" target="new">Jedi and Sith colored M&Ms</a> (Emeryville, CA)February 19th, 2004 http://www.inpassing.org/node/view/2648 "I'm so sick of this song &mdash; it's <i>everywhere</i>. You know...this is all a plot to make California feel humble. That and the brouhaha over same sex marriages. I mean, <i>come on</i>, people. Don't you have other things to worry about? Like, oh, say...Iraq?"<br /> <br /> &mdash; a loud female co-worker expressing annoyance with an overplayed song. I believe she is refering to <i>Will you Marry Me?</i>, but I don't listen to pop radio, so I'm not sure. (Emeryville, CA)Jelly beans http://www.inpassing.org/node/view/2616 "I don't really need this. But I'm just gonna go get some jelly beans. I just want some jelly beans."<br /> &mdash; a woman muttering to herself as she walked by my friend's desk at the University of Miami, Dept. of Epidemiology and Public Health (Miami, FL)Preference http://www.inpassing.org/node/view/2583 "I'll take a chunk of chocolate over rabid weasels any day."<br /> &mdash; a woman talking on her cell phone (Pleasanton, CA)