This isn't an overheard thing; it's a shameless testimonial to my new Z-Coil shoes. Sure, they look ridiculous, but I've never owned a more comfortable pair of shoes.

Before I got them, I gimped around like a cripple for the first few hours of every day--the pain in my feet made it agony to walk, and it showed. And though the pain would subside somewhat after a while, it never went away. Now, I can walk without feeling like I have broken glass in my heels. The pain hasn't entirely gone away (but then again, I've only been wearing my Z-Coils for three days), but it's so much better I can hardly believe it.

Okay, so at $150-$200+ dollars, they aren't for everyone. But the springs are the part doing most of the work, and so are the part most likely to wear out--and the springs can be replaced for $35 for a pair. The rest of the shoe can last years without showing significant wear and tear, even when worn daily. So even with the initial outlay, that's less than I used to spend on shoes, trying to find something--anything--that would feel better.

"I should get little naked men more often. They arrived a lot faster than anything else I've ordered over the net."

--a guy talking to his friend as they strolled down Main Street, Cortez, CO.

but in keeping with my mood for the last few days:

HOME is where the HURT is

--seen in the bathroom at Wal-Mart, Cortez, CO.

My aunt died this morning. Not that I think anyone particularly cares (I mean, it's not like you knew her, how worked up can you get?), but I hate to leave a story at a cliffhanger, so I thought I'd update. It's been less than a week since they diagnosed her with a nice rare cancer that had doctors just about wetting themselves for a chance to see it; only a couple of weeks since she went in for a biopsy on a mass in her lung that probably wasn't cancer at all, since it didn't look like cancer or act like cancer; probably only a couple months since her breathing started to get bad enough for the doctors to start caring. They say she didn't suffer at the end (it only looked like it because her body was trying so hard to catch a breath) but don't they tell that to everyone's survivors? I mean, does a doctor ever come right out and say, "Oh, geez, your loved one died hard. I've never seen anyone in so much agony. I'd have pulled out a gun and ended the misery, but guns aren't allowed in the hospital. Terribly sorry."

"I like it, it's jazzy. Like penguins."

--a teenager to her mom in Wal-Mart. Cortez, CO.

"At first I thought it said, 'California bans transgender pet fish' and I thought, so they do have limits. But no."

--a girl at a computer in the library, Cortez, CO. I have no idea who she was talking to.

I got a porn catalog in the mail today. In it was a flier, featuring explicit stills from the various movies they're giving away free with big orders (Horse Play, Lesbian College, etc), and at the top it said, "HARDCORE F**K FLICKS".

So...what's the standard here?

I'm picturing a board room, perhaps the one from Dogma, with the man at the head of the table saying, "It's perfectly normal to show a woman, ahem, riding her horse, but it's just wrong to use naughty words! Why, some impressionable child might get hold of that catalog, and by God, our upstanding company (no pun intended) won't be the reason little Johnny goes around dropping the F-bomb!"

Driver who drink like fish
Often sleep with fishes
Learn to swim

--Seen on the bathroom wall of the Purple Sage. Cortez, CO.

"So what's the deal with that Anasazi Burger?"
"It's made with real Anasazis."
"So that's what happened to them."

--A customer, a line cook, and another customer, at Spruce Tree Terrace, Mesa Verde National Park.

"Hey, man, why didn't you let yourself in? I didn't lock it."
"I did, and then I let myself out after your ferret f*cking bit me."
*pause* "Dude...I don't have a ferret."

--two guys on the floor below, Centennial Apartments, Fort Lewis College. Durango, CO.
I heard this years ago, while I was attending school there, and visiting a friend in the Centennials. Haven't thought about it in a long time, but today I have rodents on the brain.

"Hi, can I help you?"
"Nah, I'm just looking."
*sigh* "Yeah, me too. I was just looking, and they put me to work."

--An employee and a customer in Front Row Seat. Cortez, CO.