4 February 2004
Submitted by eve on Wed, 02/04/2004 - 9:42am. Um...
"What kind of 'legitimate' excuse are we talking about? Legitimate like he was a hostage? Legitimate like car problems? Or just hungover?"
--A businessman talking on a cellphone in line for the ATM
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So am I the only one
Posted by hypoxic on Fri, 02/20/2004 - 8:16am.
that will show up to work with a raging hangover? Because I'm going to suffer either at work or at home so I might as well get paid for it!
Depends on the hangover
Posted by Saint on Fri, 02/20/2004 - 11:06am.
If it's so bad that poking my head out into the sunlight makes me puke, then no, I don't go to work. If it's just a headache and general blargh, then sure, I go. In the US, Wal-Mart doesn't consider illness an excused absence (even with a doctor's note; you actually have to be in the hospital for all to be forgiven), and enough unexcused absences get you fired, so you have to pick your battles. If I had a job that would let me call in whenever, without fear, then I probably would, even for a little hangover. After all, feeling bad usually goes away by noon, while a call-in lasts all day.

I always thought that if I ran a business, I would give my workers a few 'mental health' days a year. Sort of like the previously mentioned f*ck-you days, but without the f*ck you. You'd just call in and say, "I'm taking a mental health day" and it would be counted as an unpaid but excused absence, no questions asked. It would save workers the effort of coming up with a lie when they really mean "I fought with my SO and I can't stop crying" or just "It's too nice out to be trapped inside a concrete box today."
Posted by Matt on Fri, 02/20/2004 - 12:51pm.
I've gone to work with hangovers and I've called in sick because I was hungover. I even called in once at 3a.m., on my way to bed, because I didn't want to have to wake up in five hours and call in.

There are only five people at my work on any given day, but most all of us have taken a "mental health day" at one time or another. It just sort of goes without saying.
Colon spazz
Posted by ju-ju on Wed, 02/11/2004 - 8:54pm.
I had a roommate last year who had a spastic colon. So one day when I didn't feel like going to work and needed an excuse I borrowed my roommate's malady as an excuse. I told my manager that my spastic colon was acting up and she was so very sweet and concerned, and she started asking me questions -- how long have you had this? are you going to the doctor? are you taking anything for it? -- that I didn't know the answer to. So as a way of trying to get off the phone quickly I made a pained noise and cried out, "Oh! My colon!!" My roommie was listening and laughed her ass off at me and this became one of our catch phrases.

I felt so bad, though, at the outpouring of sympathy and good-will I got from everyone when I went in to work the next day.
Oh my colon!
Posted by penguinchick on Sat, 02/14/2004 - 7:16am.
Wow, I thought only my old roomies and I would say "Oh my colon!" Of course, we were doing it in response to another roomies' overuse of "Oh my word," and we were referring to the punctuation, not to the body part. But still- weird coincidence.
F*ck you days
Posted by jaimie on Tue, 02/10/2004 - 1:01pm.
At my old office, the best manager I've ever had instituted "F*ck You" days. When you were too tired or hung over to come in, of if you just didn't feel like going to work, you could call Caleb and say, "Caleb? F*ck you. I'm not coming in today." and it would be fine. We got three of those days a year. It was a beautiful beautiful thing.
Now, if i can just find a caleb...
Posted by steff on Tue, 02/10/2004 - 7:46pm.
i've officially added this to my list of "things i must have fitting opportunity to say before i die". merci.
Were any of your co-workers o
Posted by Normy17 on Tue, 02/10/2004 - 6:44pm.
Were any of your co-workers offended and couldn't bring themselves to actually use any of their days?

Would Caleb not allow you take the day if you didn't actually curse?
I think it's a wonderful idea...
Posted by paul on Tue, 02/10/2004 - 9:35pm.
...and Caleb would be wise to let them use them whether they cursed or not, lest he find himself confronting guys like this.
Legitimate businessman!
Posted by Mike on Tue, 02/10/2004 - 12:04pm.
That's what I need: a job making car problems and enhostaging people so they have an excuse to skip work. Genius!!

...What? It's been done? Bah, muscled out of the business already.
Posted by JLSeagull on Mon, 02/09/2004 - 10:24pm.
I called into one job I had, which involved a lot of phone conversations, and told my manager, truthfully, that I was sick, my throat was bleeding, I had a fever and wouldn't be in because I was going to the doctor. She actually asked if I could change my appointment to the next morning and come in for at least a couple of hours! TWO HOURS!? Wouldn't have been worth it even if I was feeling fine. I said, "It's against company policy for me to come in with a fever" and hung up on her. I'm glad I don't work there anymore.
Posted by Matt on Mon, 02/09/2004 - 8:55pm.
You guys probably thought I was going to come on here and contribute some kind of hangover story, right? Nope. One morning I got to work and one of the guys was checking the company voice mail. This guy said, "Hey guys, I'm not going to make it in to work today. My tummy hurts."

And he's 40-ish.

Of course, what he didn't say was that 20 years (or so) of drinking upwards of a pint of cheap vodka or whiskey, along with a six-pack of beer every single night (sometimes more) had burned away his stomach lining so much that now he can't eat anything acidic, including tomatoes. He still drinks most every night, though.
Wow, what a total dumbass.
Posted by Cebu on Fri, 02/13/2004 - 7:08am.
Wow, what a total dumbass.

But I got a hearty laugh from it. His tummy hurts. Hahahahahaha!
Posted by tim on Mon, 02/09/2004 - 10:32am.
Being hung over isn't legitimate?
since when?
Do you know how much I have to drink to be hung over?
That's 12 hours of my life I'll never get back
if that's not legitimate I don't know what is!!!
--" The torture never stops"--
It's all in the phrasing.
Posted by Mike on Wed, 02/11/2004 - 9:15am.
"I didn't come in yesterday because I was HELD HOSTAGE!! (*quietly*) ...by a wicked hangover." Then crawl over to your desk and sleep it off. If your boss keeps pestering you, just punch him in the face and blame it on Stockholm Syndrome.

It should totally work! (*quietly*) ...hypothetically.
Posted by paul on Mon, 02/09/2004 - 9:50pm.
...in some jobs having a hangover makes you unfit to work. You probably still have some alcohol in your system at that point, after all. Here at my job if they suspect that you're under any sort of influence they'll drag you off to be tested, and if they find stuff in your system you're out on your ass. I have yet to see that happen, but I don't doubt it- they just canned a woman for a far lesser offense.

Then again, when you're handling silicon wafers worth $1800 apiece which come in lots consisting of 25 wafers, you'd damned well better be clean and sober.
Posted by tim on Tue, 02/10/2004 - 4:08am.
Lighten up Mother Teresa
: D
and by " stuff in your system" I assume you mean illegal substances because I dont think thay can fire you for having a few beers the night before...
--" The torture never stops"--
Posted by paul on Tue, 02/10/2004 - 5:54am.
It isn't me that makes or enforces these rules. I work for a very German company- if only a few employees misbehave, sudden new rules are put in place and very strictly enforced. This is why we now no longer have Internet access in the FAB- because a few people were surfing porn sites instead of working. In order to get access I would have to go through several levels of management and get permission up the line. And this is why if I clock in at 7:01 I have to take four hours of emergency leave time and will be severely penalized (as in, no raise and possibly fired) if it happens more than ten times in a year, because a few low level employees were coming in five to ten minutes late on a regular basis.

Really, if I came in with a raging hangover and smelled of it I'm pretty sure that they would pull me aside and have me take a breathalyzer test. Honest. I shit thee not. They're that draconian. The woman who was recently fired lost her job for leaving early one night without clearing it in advance. Most places where I've worked would have chewed her out and told her not to do it again, but these guys just took her badge and marched her to the door. After all, ve must all follow orders, nein? (/bad Nazi impression)

God knows how long I'll last here, but as the pay is excellent I'm going to try to stick with it for as long as I can...
Posted by tim on Tue, 02/10/2004 - 7:16am.
just friggin' sad.
You couldn't pay me enough to work for a company like that.
" Hooooooooooooo-Gaaaaaaaaaaaan"
--" The torture never stops"--
Posted by paul on Tue, 02/10/2004 - 10:11am.
Six little words for ya, tim.

Five weeks paid vacation per year.

That's what they give me to *start*. I've been there for not quite four months and I already have better than a week's paid time off coming. I can take a week off at Easter time with my kids, and two weeks this summer, and a week in the fall and a week over the holidays. I get to take them on honest-to-god family vacations for all those times.

Add to that full medical/dental/vision care, a good 401k plan and the best pay I'm likely to find in this city, and yeah, I'm gonna work for this friggin' company as long as I can.

Oh, and going back to the hangover bit- I know one guy who still works there who was very tired one night and half asleep as he pulled a lot from the scrubber. The plastic carrier the lot was housed in (called a cassette) tilted forward as he pulled it out and all 25 wafers hit the floor. That's $45,000 he just wrecked. They let him stay because at the time he was just plain sleepy, but had he been hung over his ass would have bounced on the pavement as they chucked him to the curb. I wouldn't have blamed them for it, either. How lightly would *you* treat it when someone destroys that much money? Especially if it was entirely preventable by just not showing up with a hangover in the first place?

YMMV, of course...
If you
Posted by tim on Tue, 02/10/2004 - 11:00am.
want to save all your personal freedom for 5 weeks a year who am i to disagree?
me , I wouldn't do it.
And not just because of a hangover, because I wouldn't work any where that infringed on my life to that extent.
who were that unforgiving and militant.
I'd work for people not a corporation , a machine ,no matter what the benefits were.
You're in an entirely different situation than me, how ever, and you have to do what you think is right for you and your family.
We all work to make money to enjoy life...I just wouldn't let them tell me I had to only enjoy it 5 weeks a year.
This does give me a whole new perspective on your mindset and explains a few things I must say.
; )
--" The torture never stops"--
Posted by paul on Tue, 02/10/2004 - 1:33pm.
My situation is probably a lot different than yours. I have three kids who I've never been able to take on a real vacation because of lack of funds or time off. Yes, it's coming at a bit of a price in terms of exactly toeing the line, but it's a price I'll pay. I also work twelve hour shift through the night- but I get paid an additional 24%, work three of those shifts one week and four the next so that every pay period I get eight hours of overtime, and every other weekend I get a three day weekend. I work two shifts, then am off for two shifts on two, off three, on two, off two, then on three. Translation: I get days off during the week to do things that most people can't, because they work during normal business hours. And as a side benefit, if any of the kids is sick and has to stay home from school, they can be with me- I may be asleep, but I'm there if needed.

I haven't worked for a corporation before, at least not one like this one, so it's being an educational experience and not altogether pleasant. But if it's going to be that beneficial to my kids in terms of my income, my hours of availability to them and my vacation time, I'll do it, believe me. The benefits far outweigh the costs. Besides, when my last kid is through college I'll be 52, which is still young enough to enjoy life- so at that point I may go off to chase a dream job and do as I like, having paid my dues...
Posted by marinerd on Tue, 02/10/2004 - 12:35pm.
I work for a company with those benefits (love that vacation!!), except they treat us all like adults and there's no time clock or anyone watching when we come and go. Unfortunately, my position doesn't get paid as much as others do, but it's enough for me.

Modern life is give and take, and we all have to find our own balance, I guess.
Silicon wafers...
Posted by ParU on Mon, 02/09/2004 - 11:10pm.
An absolutely true story...
My old college roomate used to work for a semiconductor manufacturer. And he told me about this one guy who'd come in with a two day growth of beard and put a bottle of tequila on his desk and drink from it while he worked. Why didn't they can him? Cause he was the 'chip designer', the genius who actually came up with the designs for their entire division's production and 2000 people's jobs depended on his brillance.
The moral is, that if you want to be different, you'd better be good. And if you want to be outrageous, you'd better be irreplaceable.
It's Amino world without Chemists
Tom West ?
Posted by peegee on Tue, 02/10/2004 - 12:53am.
Madcap chip designers always remind me of Tracy Kidder's "Soul of a new machine", tracing and narrating the design and protoype implementation of a new 32-bit microcumpter in a late 70's, early 80s computer company. One of the few books that makes me sad I'm not older.
Good god.
Posted by paul on Tue, 02/10/2004 - 12:26am.
I find that difficult to comprehend. I really do. I mean, even a low-end job would be unpleasant to work in if I were drunk- say, doing CAD or running a machine- but doing something high pressure like designing chips? Doing that while *drunk*?!? GAH!

Even more difficult to comprehend is that the company would let him get away with it. If nothing else from a morale viewpoint that would be dreadful... not to mention the liability!
Chip designers...
Posted by ParU on Tue, 02/10/2004 - 1:48pm.
Well Paul, they did let him 'get away' with it, cause, as I said, everyone recognized that he was designing what they were making. And this was a very large Company (Nat'l Semi). I don't think he was 'drunk' per se while he was designing, and I don't think he did it all the time, but he evidently occasionally did do it.
Regarding draconian policies, I used to work for a small company and every other Friday or so we'd have a 'wine tasting' (one bottle, 10 or so people). Nice companionable atmosphere, even the President used to show up and all the managers usually did too. Then I worked for a 'high tech' company that used to buy beer for their employees at the end of the quarter (I remember seeing them unload cases of Heinicken). So with that mind-set, I next go work for a large 'uptight' company and mention, as a new semi-senior manager, that I thought the 'wine-tasting' was a good idea and thought I'd introduce it to my group and my peers. I fortunately ran it by my predecessor in the job who told me that if I brought a bottle of wine into the building, they'd call security and 'escort me to the door' (he'd seen it happen). Whoaaaa nellie. Needless to say, I didn't do that.
It's Amino world without Chemists
Sad yet true
Posted by Oliver on Mon, 02/09/2004 - 8:47pm.
I've called into work and begged my manager to let me come in a few hours late because I was so hung over, after a particularly hectic night in which I combined large quantities of vodka, rum, beer, and wine. It took too much effort to dredge up a lie. Not one of my finer moments.
Posted by Apple on Mon, 02/09/2004 - 11:34am.
To even it out, I vote car problems.

Posted by Kris the Girl on Mon, 02/09/2004 - 10:25am.
Probably hostage, since he was at an ATM.
And...first post!
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