"I do not meet many people like you. I think, somehow, you must forgive me, perhaps we are both connected somehow?"
"Well, I'm a gemini, when were you born?"
--A very earnest man, and a woman, at the Cinnabon in the SJC Norman Y. Mineta airport.

"I'm not saying never. I'm just saying, until your job title is something like, 'Snoop's entourage member #6', you can't call them your cizzo-workas. "
--An exasperated guy talking on a cell phone at Andronico's.

"Let me put it to you this way, bottom line: if any half of a Jerry Bruckheimer movie makes you cry, you are living a terrible life."
--A guy talking to a couple of guys at Safeway.

"So this girl today... she was totally my type."
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah. She was kinda... early thirties. Not older than 33, and...
" What's that mean? Your type?"
"Well, like, she was kinda earthy and really... she was just original. She had this cardboard horse head on her bike -- so it looked like a horse. And she got on the bus at my stop and we talked and it was just... nice."
--A guy and a girl talking at Amoeba

"Did you see that? What that Hummer just did? Why do I get moving violations and that guy zooms off?"
"Well, I think that's technically legal. Though not advised, and kind of a dick thing to do. Kind of like driving a Hummer, I guess."
--Two guys talking on Oxford st

"Sure, for values of 'neat' that involve you not getting your security deposit back."
--A girl to a guy walking down Fulton st

"When he said he wouldn't recommend French wine out of protest I was like, fine, and I'll have a side of freedom fries to go with that. But then when he said that real mulled wine had pineapple and maraschino cherries in it I was like, dude, go on hating the French. Because they all hate you for what you've done to vin chaud."
--A girl talking to another girl at Andronico's.

"People never say, 'oh yeah, remember that cult I was in? I met her there.'"
--A guy talking on a cell phone at SFO

"Yeah, I was woken up at 4am when her boyfriend went to the bathroom. I tell you tall guys? Farther to fall, much louder in the bowl. I'm serious."
--A girl talking at the next table over at Tsing Tao

"At first I thought he was high, but it turned out he was just a Scientologist."
"Huh. I don't really know much about them."
"Oh, there's a lot there. I thought you were the religion guru?"
"No, the only unusual religions I really know a lot about are the ones that South Park has made fun of."
--Two guys talking on AC Transit