"I'll have to introduce you to her, she totally looks like Britney Spears... except she's really short. And her hair is kinda pink."
--One girl to another, sitting outside Pimentel Hall

---

...So that's kinda like how my car is just like James Bond's car, except it's purple, and oh, yeah, mine is a bike instead of a car?

"What?!"
"I said was the teacher hurrying you?"
"Oh, I though you said marrying."
--A girl and a guy in the crosswalk at Bancroft and Channing

---

Good to keep those words straight, just in general.

"You ran? You ran in London???"
--An incredulous girl to the guy she was walking with

---

But so long as he wasn't doing it with scissors it was ok, right?

"Noooo, Razor was the original scooter."
--One guy to several others, apparently in an impassioned debate

---

And you know what the great part is? Its offspring and copycats have managed to retain every bit of its utter ridiculousness.

"So why'd you quit?"
"Because if I heard that CD of Kenny G covering TLC's song 'Waterfalls' one more time I was going to go crazy and kill my boss and end up in jail."
--Two girls speaking in complete deadpan

---

Good answer!
And today's lesson is: given the choice of unemployment or incarceration, unemployment is the way to go.

"I should be a humanities major instead. There are hardly any hot chicks in this class."
"Yeah, maybe it'll be better in upper-division."
--Two guys in my computer science class

---

Oh boys... If you only knew. At least in this class, "hot" or not (and that's subjective), the female to male ratio is about 1:2. When you get into upper division, you'll likely be thrilled to see a girl, period.

"Excuse me! I attended that institution, and I find your shirt to be very disrespectful."
--A homeless man, to a cal student wearing a 'Fuck Stanford,' T-shirt

"You know, if I had a book to read, I'd come here too, the creek is so cool."
"Yeah. Pity about it being contaminated with untreated sewage."
--A guy retrieving a frisbee near Strawberry Creek, and a girl, sitting on a concrete beam spanning the water, apparently trying to read without being disturbed.

"There, now who says you can't wear glitter eyeshadow to a job interview?"
--A girl, putting the finishing touches on another girl's make-up in the ladies room

---

Um, I do?
Don't get me wrong, I like to sparkle as much as the next girl. But I don't think corporate america is ready yet.

"Why do they call it Antropology lab? There's no lab! There are no safety goggles. We're in a classroom! It's not like we're even examining bones or artifacts or anything. We sit and do worksheets all day!"
"Still upset about not being accepted into the chem major, huh?"
--A girl and a guy walking by me on Euclid st