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Mugged In Broad Daylight
Ironic
Rob: \"Did you speak to Kayla recently?\"
Me: \"No... Why?\"
Rob: \"Because if you did, you would have heard that I got mugged.\"
Me: \"Oh, my God!!!! When and where?\"
Rob: \"Hylan Blvd. in broad daylight. Everyone just kept stepping over me. Nobody helped at all.\"
Me: \"Oh, man... I\'m so sorry, dude. Did they take anything?\"
Rob: \"Yeah. My Sidekick.\"
*I start laughing uncontrollably*
Rob: \"I\'m just going to assume that you\'re laughing because my Sidekick was broken anyway, and not because you\'re a total uber-b*tch.\"
-Hylan Blvd. is a very busy road that stretches to both ends of Staten Island, NY... And, yes, that is why I laughed.
Me: \"No... Why?\"
Rob: \"Because if you did, you would have heard that I got mugged.\"
Me: \"Oh, my God!!!! When and where?\"
Rob: \"Hylan Blvd. in broad daylight. Everyone just kept stepping over me. Nobody helped at all.\"
Me: \"Oh, man... I\'m so sorry, dude. Did they take anything?\"
Rob: \"Yeah. My Sidekick.\"
*I start laughing uncontrollably*
Rob: \"I\'m just going to assume that you\'re laughing because my Sidekick was broken anyway, and not because you\'re a total uber-b*tch.\"
-Hylan Blvd. is a very busy road that stretches to both ends of Staten Island, NY... And, yes, that is why I laughed.
Clowns
Ironic
\\\"That\\\'s not good.\\\"
-Eddie Phanichkul, as I drive south on the 101, passing by 2 clowns changing a tire on the side of the freeway.
-Eddie Phanichkul, as I drive south on the 101, passing by 2 clowns changing a tire on the side of the freeway.
Back entry
Ironic
"where do they keep santa claus?" -my 6 year old sister, in the national museum of natural history
Hick Tech
Ironic
"This thing's got more RAM on it than that one by a country mile."
- IT guy, cubicle farm, Indiana
- IT guy, cubicle farm, Indiana
Getting to know you
Ironic
"I don't know how they can say I'm stuck up. I've never even talked to them!"
-- An otherwise attractive young woman in the halls of my community college.
-- An otherwise attractive young woman in the halls of my community college.
The art of zen
Ironic
"Do I look calm to you?"
"Yes...you look fine."
"You see, I just separated from my husband and I feel so calm. Isn't it amazing that I'm so calm? So calm that I don't even have to talk about it."
— a woman at the check-out speaking to the Long's cashier (Rockridge, CA)
"Yes...you look fine."
"You see, I just separated from my husband and I feel so calm. Isn't it amazing that I'm so calm? So calm that I don't even have to talk about it."
— a woman at the check-out speaking to the Long's cashier (Rockridge, CA)
Sexism turned on its head...
Ironic
"Sir, I'm afraid your shirt doesn't meet our dress code. We don't allow tank shirts."
"Why not? You're wearing one. Why can't he?"
"This isn't a tank shirt, it's a sleeveless blouse."
"Well then, maybe his is a blouse too!"
"Yeah, that's it! I just wanted to feel pretty today!" *fluffing hair*
--A bartender, a friend of a guy in a tank shirt, and the guy in the tank shirt, at Capital Alehouse
The bartender ended up giving the guy a free tee shirt to wear over the tank. Jeez, maybe I should give that tactic a try...
"Why not? You're wearing one. Why can't he?"
"This isn't a tank shirt, it's a sleeveless blouse."
"Well then, maybe his is a blouse too!"
"Yeah, that's it! I just wanted to feel pretty today!" *fluffing hair*
--A bartender, a friend of a guy in a tank shirt, and the guy in the tank shirt, at Capital Alehouse
The bartender ended up giving the guy a free tee shirt to wear over the tank. Jeez, maybe I should give that tactic a try...
The Sound Of Wedding Bells
Ironic
Love Story
and
Dream Weddings (100 Best Places to get Married in England and Wales).
3rd September 2003
Books for Sale in Relate Bookshop, Shropshire, England
(Relate offers counselling services to couples experiencing problems in their relationship).
and
Dream Weddings (100 Best Places to get Married in England and Wales).
3rd September 2003
Books for Sale in Relate Bookshop, Shropshire, England
(Relate offers counselling services to couples experiencing problems in their relationship).
I saw nary a Finn.
Ironic
Good icecream conversation
Ironic
"So...any new developments?"
"Oh no, they're still closer than ever."
"Does that mean she hasn't tried to run him over lately?"
"Unfortunately."
Heard at a TCBY in Des Moines, Iowa. The girls seemed stragely upset about the last comment. Those Iowa teenagers have some extreme ways to deal with anger...!
"Oh no, they're still closer than ever."
"Does that mean she hasn't tried to run him over lately?"
"Unfortunately."
Heard at a TCBY in Des Moines, Iowa. The girls seemed stragely upset about the last comment. Those Iowa teenagers have some extreme ways to deal with anger...!