"How about 'Wayne's World 2?'"
"Nah, I didn't like the ending... Garth leaves the beautiful woman for another girl, just because she has a Unix book."
"Are you saying that outside beauty is all that matters?"
--A guy and a girl in the video store

---

Not to belittle the inherent sexiness of a programmable OS, but she's Kim Basinger. I'm sure even her kidneys are attractive.

"Well, if you don't see anything here, we could go to the theatre. I heard 'Almost Famous' is good."
"Ugh, I can't believe Ebert liked that trash."
"What?"
"I saw enough back when it was on TV... I just never understood what was so funny about those 2 bitchy British women."
*pause*
"Are you thinking of Absolutely Fabulous?"
--Two girls in the video store

"And I just think there's not much in life that's worth duct taping your breasts for."
--A girl to her cringing male companion walking near the North gate of campus.

"Remember ice skater boy I was kinda dating? Well he has this cat, and the cat, like, rides the motorcycle with him."
"No way!"
"Seriously, he just hops on. I swear the cat's psychic, too."
--Two women in Mars Clothing Mercantile

---

I can just imagine trying to bring that guy home to mom:
"And I'd like you to meet John, he ice skates and rides a motorcycle with his psychic cat."

"However, they found that response time was much longer, when the subjects were shown a taboo word such as penis..."
"Penis is a taboo word?"
--My psychology professor, and a baffled guy sitting somewhere behind me in lecture

---

...A good sign you've been in liberal college land too long.
A friend of mine was recently reprimanded "for foul language," by a woman sitting next to him on an airplane, because he said that "airplane food sucks."
Yikes.

"But you can't live on Skittles and beer, either."
--A guy walking past my window

"I swear, if he asks how much a female hyena weighs, I will honestly kill him."
"I know!"
--Two girls in the elevator of Tolman hall

"And he thinks his stuff is so profound because no one can understand it! I like my poetry because it makes sense!"
--A girl, ranting to her friends in Dwinelle Plaza.

"Jeff, you are the one who just can't understand. You messed up. You hurt me. You don't get to be with me anymore."
"But if you would just listen, I can explain..."
"No. It's over. Accept that."
"Except that what?"
--A girl and a guy, on the sidewalk outside my window

---

And the worst part is, not only can I not help hearing their pain, I can't help thinking "Do they know that they're quoting old 'Friends' episodes?"

"How's today been?"
"Faded."
"What d'you mean?"
"...Don't ask me about this morning. I can't remember."
--Two guys on Sproul Plaza