"y'member that time they bombed that... oh, that place in new york, y'know? 9-11?"

"yeah. do YOU?"

- two old men, talking (i believe) about gas prices.

scare. ee. i was gratified, however, that as i was frozen in the "hold my breath and stand very still with my eyes bugged out incredulously" stance, his friend jumped in with the sarcasm. heh.

seen:

a car driving around in blakesburg, IA with an enTIRE snowman on the roof of the car.

heh.

"So, I had cabbage last night."

- 60-ish woman the next booth over at lunch.

i propose this as the new "so, it goes under the bay?" except that i can't get it out without hysterics. or, really, at all. as evidenced by this, a few seconds later:

"what? sign... your, uh... cabbage license?? are you high?"

- intelligirly, trying to decipher what i said.

the first part of this ensemble occurred quite a while ago as an exchange between my sister and i. in itself, not that interesting... until i heard the second part this morning. it nearly made it into the "funny" category by virtue of the unintentional smackdown at the end. heh.

both happened in response to the opening line of a sugar ray song: "pretty women out walking with gorillas down my street".

intelligirly: "you know, that's sort of you."
me: "awwww! you think i'm pretty??"
intelligirly: "uh... *exasperated pause* you're kind of missing the point."

then, this morning, after hearing that same line in a restaurant...

girl 1: "i'm sorry, but that's exactly you and jim."
girl 2: "oh, that's so sweet! but i'm not pretty."
girl 1: "... ok, listen, everyone wants to BE you! nobody wants to be your boyfriend."

"i especially liked the inclusion of jung."

"and don't forget the use of the phrase 'candy-ass'!"

"oh, yes! genius, pure genius."


-two girls coming out of the blue man group concert last night. my favorite part is that they were both serious.

and both right, of course.

"well, my sister from michigan will be there - the bossy one.... and, of course, my brother-in-law, poor bastard, biggest mistake of his life, but THAT'S another story..."

-elderly man on a cell phone in a bob evans somewhere in ohio.

this is the same gentleman who started the conversation with, "yes, i've just checked inside my coat, and you're speaking with either 'medium' or 'harris tweed' here" as waves of "oh puh-LESE, you've used the same damn joke for 50 FRIGGIN YEARS" emmanated from his wife. heh.

i don't think they could see me laughing helplessly, no.