"Because anything that is not a positive response to the question, 'Do you want eggs?' could safely be considered a negative response."
--A guy at Jupiter.

"No, that can't be right. I don't think there could be a homeless shelter in Palo Alto."
"Well, there is, but it's actually just a facade to the police station. Walk in the door and you're hog tied and thrown on a conveyor belt that runs straight to Sacramento."
--A girl and a guy at the Kensington Bistro

"Y'know, when I go out with my girlfriend -- or whatever -- I really like it when she plays with her cell phone all night."
--A Starbucks employee, talking to a teenage couple earnestly engaged in text messaging.

"What kind of 'legitimate' excuse are we talking about? Legitimate like he was a hostage? Legitimate like car problems? Or just hungover?"
--A businessman talking on a cellphone in line for the ATM

"...it was great. We went to a different steak house every Friday. But I figured it out when he asked the waiter to leave the lemon out of his water."
"Huh?"
"He wasn't trying to take me out to nice places. He was on Atkins."
"Maybe he doesn't like lemon. Some guys don't, you know."
--Two women talking at a restaurant

"Today's Drink Reccommendation: A venti coffee in a grande cup.
Reminds Me Of: A foggy morning in London, walking around, seeing the Eiffel Tower."
--The coffee of the day reccomendation, written by "Lizzie", who is either Starbucks' most subversive or least intelligent employee.

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For the record, I'm still anti-Starbucks. I have fewer choices when I'm traveling, though. Where by "fewer" I often mean "none."