31 January 2004
Submitted by eve on Sat, 01/31/2004 - 8:37pm. Funny
"Y'know, when I go out with my girlfriend -- or whatever -- I really like it when she plays with her cell phone all night."
--A Starbucks employee, talking to a teenage couple earnestly engaged in text messaging.
Comment viewing options:
Select your preferred way to display the comments and click 'Save settings' to submit your changes.
Posted by Cebu on Sat, 02/07/2004 - 2:13pm.
I don't own a cellphone, but that's partly due to my lack of a social life. I'm so irritated when I hear people having convos on them in a store that isn't necessary at that time. I mean, I consider them very handy for emergencies and even when you forgot a grocery item. Something along those lines. I use my moms for long distance calls because she gets so many free minutes that go unused otherwise. (she doesn't have a social life either. yes, i got that from her, we're both shy)

When I travel to Michigan in July (Woo-hoo!) I'll probably take hers since I'll be using a rental car and all that schtuff.

...so tired...
Ipso facto, presto change-o
Posted by Jon on Mon, 02/09/2004 - 8:03am.
The irony is that I have a cellphone because I have a car (accidents happen), but I don't tend to use it while driving. I don't have a social life either, though. :\
Posted by nfidel on Fri, 02/06/2004 - 6:42pm.
What if he was really trying to peddle these?
Pet Names
Posted by Ameroogie on Fri, 02/06/2004 - 5:05pm.
Leave it to a Starbuck's employee to name his genitalia "her cell phone".
And I'll have...
Posted by Apple Man on Fri, 02/06/2004 - 1:19pm.
A half double decaf on a half calf, with a twist of lemon.

(I hope memory served me well, it's been failing me latte)
Phoning it in
Posted by Mike on Fri, 02/06/2004 - 11:48am.
It starts out as a pair of gentle back messages and ends in public text, eh? And why'd the employee mocha big deal out of this, anyway? Maybe he expected them to be open to a three-way? Who knew getting a busy signal would put him through such an emotional ringer? I guess I can see how it might set his teeth to grande, so it's okay for him to venti. (Just a little though, not a latte.) Would a tip change his jarring tone?

All in all, it looks like the situation just doesn't add up to a shill of beans.

(*runs away*)
Posted by Joe Napalm on Fri, 02/06/2004 - 12:33pm.
Summary execution, aisle 5!

Efreeti Sophist
Rather wintry here, actually.
Posted by Mike on Sat, 02/07/2004 - 1:09pm.
I mean... um... oh my gosh! It seems that someone temporarily stole my name and password! How could this be??

Ah, an excellent java dodging blame... crap I'm still typing!

(*ducks for cover*)
Posted by Apple on Fri, 02/06/2004 - 12:49pm.
The coffee beans are in aisle 4.


You could use a guillotine, and, you know, decaffeinate him.

Words cannot espresso my shock!
Posted by Mike on Sat, 02/07/2004 - 1:32pm.
I don't think I've ever had a cola reception. Who knew you would alkaloid against me?
Posted by bsii on Thu, 02/05/2004 - 12:55pm.
Yes, it's working.
What's working?
Posted by umrguy on Thu, 02/05/2004 - 8:56pm.
...he queried with a puzzled expression on his face.

-There's someone in my head, but it's not me.-
In Passing...
Posted by ParU on Thu, 02/05/2004 - 10:45pm.
I detected what I thought was a problem and Benjy took care of it.
Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain.
Would that be...
Posted by Jon on Fri, 02/06/2004 - 8:03am.
"I am the great and powerful Oz!" Some lines deserve to be classics.
Posted by ParU on Fri, 02/06/2004 - 8:40pm.
You are correct Sir! (Now who said that all the time? 1 Loonie pt).
It's Amino world without Chemists
Posted by Apple on Sat, 02/07/2004 - 6:58am.
Ed McMahon, mostly to Johnny Carson.

Posted by ParU on Sat, 02/07/2004 - 12:12pm.
I should've said, excluding Apple, who is ineligible for all TV trivia pts!.
Loonie pt to Apple... again.
It's Amino world without Chemists
Posted by Matt on Sat, 02/07/2004 - 2:37pm.
Aw, come on ParU. It wasn't that hard. Everyone who's ever seen Dana Carvey on SNL knows that. Apple just happened to post first.

Posted by Apple on Sat, 02/07/2004 - 4:57pm.
Neener neener neener!

Posted by Matt on Fri, 02/06/2004 - 8:48am.
No, Oz was only great and powerful around the time of a full moon. Lycanthropy, I think his condition was called.

So one has to wonder, did Seth Green leave the show because the recurring role as Little Evil was so lucrative, or so that his television girlfriend could discover her true lesbian nature?
Posted by Desert Fox on Mon, 02/09/2004 - 5:02pm.
"Pay no attention to the big bad wolf behind the curtain!"


"Life is too short for grief. Or regret. Or bullshit." -- Edward Abbey, Vox Clamantis in Deserto
Froot bat...
Posted by ParU on Mon, 02/09/2004 - 11:12pm.
A froot bat for Herr Rommel (Desert Fox). Wilkomen!
It's Amino world without Chemists
Posted by Saint on Tue, 02/10/2004 - 10:07am.
Pretty sure it's Frau, Unit.
Ms. Misnomer
Posted by Desert Fox on Tue, 02/10/2004 - 11:41am.
You are correct. And I'm a pacifistic one, at that.

"Life is too short for grief. Or regret. Or bullshit." -- Edward Abbey, Vox Clamantis in Deserto
Posted by marinerd on Tue, 02/10/2004 - 12:37pm.
Speaking of Desert Foxes, one of the German officers who tried to kill Hitler is still alive--I read about him recently. Interesting.
Posted by ParU on Tue, 02/10/2004 - 1:52pm.
marinerd? That's interesting. He must've been very young and quite a minor player to escape the purge.
And a Loonie pt. to marinerd, for knowing the Rommel was involved in the plot.
It's Amino world without Chemists
Posted by marinerd on Tue, 02/10/2004 - 3:15pm.
I found the story I read about the young soldier's part in the plot to kill Hitler; it's pretty interesting. The guy is 86 now. Here it is.
Posted by paul on Tue, 02/10/2004 - 10:14am.
"Helloooooo, nurse!"
Thanks Benjy...
Posted by ParU on Thu, 02/05/2004 - 2:19pm.
I appreciate the effort.
It's Amino world without Chemists
My Pet Peeve
Posted by Apple Man on Mon, 02/02/2004 - 12:40pm.
Cell phone usage,,, my pet peeve and bane of my existence.

Being a truck driver, I see alot that most people miss. I would easily put the number of distracted drivers at near 75% or better. Anytime I get cut off by a car, or see a car going slow in the fast lane, swerving, braking for no apparent reason, almost every time they have a phone in their ear. I carry one too, but I use a hands free and voice dialer, so that I'm not distracted by having to hold the handset against my ear, constantly switching ears, dialing numbers, etc. Use a hands free or don't use one.

Okay, enough ranting. Way to touch on my sensitivity there, Eve. Oooh raah, lol. jk.

In all seriousness, nothing bothers me more than sitting in a restaurant and having the person behind you talking obnoxiously loud on their cell phone. Are they trying to sound important? Overcompensating for something? ugh.
Posted by paul on Mon, 02/09/2004 - 8:55am.
I got into the habit of calling people on the cell phone when I drive for the simple reason that that was about the only time I had to sit and actually talk to someone over the phone. With three kids, going to college and working I have been constantly in motion for the past five years- in fact, I sometimes fear that I've forgotten how to really relax. So about the only times I'm not busy are very late at night or when I'm driving.

But I do use my headset most of the time, especially when I can find the damn thing...
Cell phones and tunnel vision
Posted by roskina on Sun, 02/08/2004 - 8:21pm.
I think that cell phones and cars make a bad equation, I read an article saying that even using a handsfree device can create some tunnel vision; but of course your chances of getting into an accident are worst if, on top of that, you have one of your hands busy handling the phone. In Spain you get a hefty ticket if you get caught NOT using a handsfree while driving, I thought it was the same in the States...
Not quite
Posted by umrguy on Sun, 02/08/2004 - 8:44pm.
I don't know the number, but not all states have laws on that, and the ones that do are somewhat varied, I believe.

-There's someone in my head, but it's not me.-
Posted by Jon on Mon, 02/02/2004 - 12:49pm.
Apparently, a person answering their phone while driving the other day decided to stop in the street in front of my father's car. Not pull over, just stop.
Maybe it's a plot by the lizard people to steal people's IQ into those handy phones. ;^)>
Posted by Apple Man on Mon, 02/02/2004 - 12:59pm.
Don't you know? It's a plot by the crab people!!

Recent studies by Harvard suggest that the average IQ drops by 75 points while using a cell phone. 95 points if cell phone useage occurs behind the wheel.

Oh, and 86% of survey percentages are made up on the spot. Just saying.

I'm not paranoid, everyone just thinks I am
I was
Posted by tim on Mon, 02/02/2004 - 2:09am.
hoping " cell phone" was a euphemism...
; )
But I've got agree with Elise...
" I'm bored I need to call someone"
which is why I dont even carry my cell phone with me.
--" The torture never stops"--
Ah, cell phones. Responsible
Posted by Elise on Sun, 02/01/2004 - 8:10am.
Ah, cell phones. Responsible for a burgeoning generation of twenty-somethings who can't stand to be alone with their thoughts for more than ten seconds.
Hmmmm. He may be on to something here.
Posted by paul on Sat, 01/31/2004 - 11:23pm.
After all, that would spare him the tedious task of actually having to talk to her...
Maybe its on vibrate?
Posted by hypoxic on Sat, 01/31/2004 - 9:28pm.
and they need to call every other minute or so.
Sides, coins.
Posted by steff on Sat, 01/31/2004 - 8:47pm.
y'know, when someone calls me on my cell phone, i really like it when they continue to converse with someone else on their end.
Accidental speed dial
Posted by Mike on Sat, 02/07/2004 - 1:38pm.
Sometimes my sister would put hers in her coat pocket and sit on it while driving. We'd occasionally get a random phone call of her yelling at other drivers and/or her own kids misbehaving in the back seat. Then you realize that you're listening to your sister's butt and you hang up because that's too weird to think about.
That's what the "lock" function is for
Posted by umrguy on Sun, 02/08/2004 - 5:29pm.
My parents and I have used it ever since they got hit with a nasty roam charge when the phone decided to call home while they were away on vacation...

-There's someone in my head, but it's not me.-
Control panel
Comment viewing options:
Select your preferred way to display the comments and click 'Save settings' to submit your changes.