"I always feel thinner when I'm tan. You know how black pants are slimming? Dark colors? It's like black pants for your whole body."
"Except black pants don't kill you."
--Two women talking in the produce section at Whole Foods

"I stopped calling myself a refugee when I bought the Audi. I think that's fair."
"Wyclef has a Hummer with a fish tank in it. Refugee All Star."
"Well."
"You should go major league."
--Two guys talking at Caribou Coffee

"Hey, some friends and I are meeting at Men's Room at 12:30 tonight, wanna come?"
"Oh no, I woke up early this morning. 12:30 is like... twice my bed time."
--Two guys on BART.

"No, his Achilles heel can't be his Achilles heel! "
"It's brilliant! It was my idea. Who would expect it?"
--A guy and a girl looking at a laptop at Nomad Cafe

"Do you know what I like? I like how whenever someone says, 'You can drink it like water,' it's always something you shouldn't be drinking at all."
"No, just not that much. Redbull vodka, for example."
"I was thinking about that guy on TV who shows how safe his organic house cleaner is."
--Two guys talking at Berkeley Bowl

"It's never too late to say you're sorry."
"Sometimes people die."
"That would be a good band name."
--Written on the wall of the women's bathroom at Triple Rock

"If I were an adolescent girl, I could see wanting to be the Olsen twins." "Which point do we address first here?" --Two 20something guys at Triple Rock

---

Sorry for the lack of updates recently -- The site's not dead, I've just been busy, and again I've been plagued by the working so much I don't overhear anyone but my coworkers. I've got a good backlog of quotes though, so expect more in the next week.

"Adorable. Litigatable. Adoralitagatable."
--A woman talking on the phone at Whole Foods

"It must be so sad to be a lady with a flower stand. People buying flowers for their girlfriends all day, for their mothers, for their birthdays."
"That sounds really happy, actually."
"Yeah, but no one's ever going to buy flowers for her. They'll think, 'flower lady. Doesn't need more flowers.'"
"I'll bet she's sick of flowers. With a job like that you probably want... waffles."
--A girl and a guy walking down Durant st

"How do they even live with themselves? Sitting there all day, next to the corn cherry scones, knowing they're clearly inferior. Pity the plight of a mere strawberrry scone."
--A guy at Arizmendi bakery

"Less the fact that he's still with Liz, more the fact that he says Liz wouldn't freak out over something 'little' like this."
--A woman talking on a cell phone at Andronico's.

"He was like, 'Ugh, you smell like vodka,' and she just shrugs and says, 'What flavor?'"
"Stoli strawberry always smells like air freshener to me, too."
--Two guys at Bliss Bar

"It's just that I've yet to really find someone who was willing to commit."
"Too much 'just hooking up, not enough quote unquote together?'"
"No, not commit to me, comitt to the drama. Really dive in, you know?"
--A girl and a guy at Jupiter

"No, the other day, I was in the elevator, and I look down, and there's a syringe. With a cap on it. Like, somebody just dropped a syringe! 'Too many syringes, just dropped one.'"
"Ew, God, how sketch. That's not even ghetto. That's pure sketch. Where the hell were you?"
"...In my apartment building."
"I'm sure it was a diabetic."
--Two men at Bar Rouge

"Weren't you supposed to just sit on the curb and wait for me?"
"Yeah, only apparently New Orelans had some kind of curb law."
--A girl and a guy at Angel Street Thrift Shop

"Tartare was kind of the sushi of France. Until the madness."
--A guy to a girl at Whole Foods

"She was like, 'Oh, I thought Buddy was lost!' and reaches under the bed."
"Teddy bear?"
"Pet snake."
--Two guys talking at Raleigh's.

"No self respecting super hero would wear open toed shoes."
--A guy on AC Transit

"I was in a band where we had a rule, all guitar or drum solos had to be at least one cigarette long... And I didn't even smoke."
--A guy standing outside Taqueria Cancun