17 July 2004
Submitted by eve on Sat, 07/17/2004 - 1:13am. Beautiful
"She was like, 'Oh, I thought Buddy was lost!' and reaches under the bed."
"Teddy bear?"
"Pet snake."
--Two guys talking at Raleigh's.
Comment viewing options:
Select your preferred way to display the comments and click 'Save settings' to submit your changes.
Bite your tongue!
Posted by Intelligirly on Thu, 08/19/2004 - 8:15am.
Oh but they ARE!! I would much rather have a fox snake than a box of chocolates, by FAR. Twenty boxes of chocolates, for that matter.

Sadly, I was burdened with the mother with the huge phobia of snakes and lizards and pretty much anything that resembles them. I mean, the woman gave herself an electric shock and knocked herself out because her system got so overloaded in fear when she saw a snake once. I believe it was a garter snake. *sigh* So I couldn't even have pictures of them and I think they're ever so neat.

I love Mike!
Posted by Mike on Thu, 08/19/2004 - 7:53am.
I haven't met a girl who could countenance a reptile without squealing in a really long time. Well, when I was a sophomore I caught a lizard and gave it to a girl (who was glad to have it!), but then a teacher saw us and made me take it back to the bush where I found it.

I don't think she took it as a romantic gesture anyway. Lizards are no substitute for flowers and chocolate.
I know one
Posted by umrguy on Thu, 08/19/2004 - 12:28pm.
My ex-girlfriend has a pair of bearded lizards named Kitty Hawk and Saratoga...

-There's someone in my head, but it's not me.-
Posted by Desert Fox on Thu, 08/19/2004 - 10:02am.
Well, in that case...

Meet my 7-foot Surinam Red-Tailed Boa, S.C.

Now you can say you know a girl who loves reptiles. I feed him baby bunnies.

The next pet on my want list is a tarantula.

Lots more pictures of S.C. (Secondary Consumer -- because, yes, I am the perpetual eco-geek) here.

"Life is too short for grief. Or regret. Or bullshit." -- Edward Abbey, Vox Clamantis in Deserto
Posted by Penny on Fri, 08/20/2004 - 11:31am.
Oh, so pretty! I love how his colors go from pinkish to the red tail! (Hence the name...)
I like snakes and lizards, but the largest thing I've ever had was a fire-bellied newt. I used to open my mouth and he'd crawl in it.

I can't have a snake now, I have slow cats.
Posted by Desert Fox on Fri, 08/20/2004 - 11:38am.
I've got cats, too. But the snake rarely comes out of his cage these days. He's a two-person snake. That's one of the first things people ask me about him: Do you let him roam free around the house? Yeah, sure. I'm going to let a freakin' 7-foot boa wander around the house.

Although that's not nearly as dumb a question as "Is he poisonous?", which I also get a lot. Sheesh. Do I look like Steve Irwin or something?

"Life is too short for grief. Or regret. Or bullshit." -- Edward Abbey, Vox Clamantis in Deserto
I dunno.
Posted by paul on Fri, 08/20/2004 - 1:51pm.
Do you? I've not seen any pictures of you, so I couldn't say. But for your sake, I hope not...
Posted by Saint on Fri, 08/20/2004 - 3:06pm.
If you looked at the links she posted, then you have seen pictures of Desert Fox, and no, she doesn't look like Stupid Steve.
Very true.
Posted by paul on Sat, 08/21/2004 - 10:53am.
I was at work at the time I posted that, and they tend to be a little prickly about what links get clicked. I've been blocked from sites as innocuous as online comics.

Nope, she doesn't look like him. Not at all.
Posted by hypoxic on Thu, 08/19/2004 - 12:37pm.
That was a pretty cool snake. I have a friend really into snakes. I think he's got like 14+ of them. They've taken over his spare bedroom. Me, I've got a turtle and Mike you can borrow her if you can find a stripper to gyrate around her. Though my turtle is only 3.5" long.
Down periscope!
Posted by umrguy on Thu, 08/19/2004 - 12:48pm.
"you can borrow her if you can find a stripper to gyrate around her"

Wow, my mind just went to a really bad place >:D

-There's someone in my head, but it's not me.-
Posted by copperhead on Thu, 09/16/2004 - 8:25pm.
it ain't a bad place. i think i've seen that movie.

i went to war for my country and all i got was this lousy stump.
Posted by hypoxic on Thu, 08/19/2004 - 9:23am.
Perhaps you're not going to the right places. I'm thinking strip clubs would be a prime viewing spot for reptiles and women. Well at least snakes. I can't really see to many strippers gyrating around with a tortoise/turtle wrapped around their neck. And Iguana's just don't seem to sexy and I'd imagine their claws would dig into parts that just shouldn't be dug into.
Pets are not accessories!
Posted by Mike on Thu, 08/19/2004 - 9:48am.
Strippers don't count! I'm not talking about the type of person who would use a real boa like a feather one! Idiots who use live animals as conversational pieces are high up on my list of morons to avoid. Those guys who constantly walk around campus with puppies, for example: you just know that they end up chaining those dogs in the back yard every evening, and when they get too big to attract women they probably drop them off at the pound or something.

There's a big difference between keeping a pet because it gets you attention and having a pet because you actually care for the animal. Snakes and lizards and turtles make nice pets because they are smooth and raspy and cool to the touch, and because their behaviour patterns are so... non-mammalian. I'm not sure I'm explaining this right.

The idea of a stripper trying to dance with a tortoise is amusing though.

Toads are good too. Because they're squishy. Huh, why did we stop bringing wild animals home anyway? Oh yeah, because my brother lost a garter snake in the house and it crawled out from beneath the refrigerator one day when my mom was in the kitchen. Patience with your children only goes so far.
Posted by Matt on Thu, 08/19/2004 - 11:46am.
And of course the description of a mother being somewhat alarmed by the presence of a reptile reminds me of that great scene in Jackass when Bam Magera's mom comes home to find an adult alligator in her kitchen, and then it opens its enormous mouth and hisses at her.

Good times.
Control panel
Comment viewing options:
Select your preferred way to display the comments and click 'Save settings' to submit your changes.