2 July 2004
Submitted by eve on Fri, 07/02/2004 - 1:03am. Beautiful
"It's just that I've yet to really find someone who was willing to commit."
"Too much 'just hooking up, not enough quote unquote together?'"
"No, not commit to me, comitt to the drama. Really dive in, you know?"
--A girl and a guy at Jupiter
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One more...
Posted by Saint on Fri, 10/01/2004 - 11:45am.
Random link, just for luck: Spamusement!
Posted by Kris the Girl on Fri, 10/01/2004 - 12:08pm.
This one's my favorite!! And this one.
I never find funny websites. I'm glad I have this resource of random links. :)
My new favorite.
Posted by Saint on Sun, 11/14/2004 - 8:44pm.
Probably because it reminds me of Mr Stabby, this is my new favorite.

If you're using protection (on your computer, you preverts, on your computer), you can hit Randomwebsite.com to find new random links. No guarantee they'll be interesting, but they sure will be random.
Not to nitpick...
Posted by Mike on Mon, 11/15/2004 - 9:48am.
But isn't that a clarinet?
Posted by Jon on Mon, 11/15/2004 - 8:04am.
Cool, I forgot to copy my favorites when I got a new work PC. Now I've got spamusement back. Thank you Saint.
Posted by steff on Sat, 10/02/2004 - 10:24am.
the second one, yes... but my favorite is still this one.
Lovely! My pick
Posted by Jon on Mon, 10/04/2004 - 8:19am.
Have to say this one wins out for Muppets and bizarro-land.
Posted by Intelligirly on Wed, 09/29/2004 - 3:51pm.
I'm wondering a bit why the "Dear Susie" is so frightening. Sure, you may not believe as the magazine publishers or demographic believes.
But "Susie" basically rolls her eyes in print at the people who told the girl virgins don't wear tampons, then goes on to tell her that tampons don't have anything to do with sexuality, wear them if you want to. Then she cautions a girl that yes, buying a big present for a boy you don't know that well and who certainly doesn't know you exist may not be a good idea, without coming out and saying, "You'll humiliate yourself, sweetie, so back off a little bit."
I didn't read all of it, granted. I just really don't see the scary horrible culty advice of it. I can, however, see the scary if you're talking about these poor innocent girls.

But you know I love you, right? *grin*

I love Mike!
Posted by Saint on Wed, 09/29/2004 - 9:18pm.
Well, obviously I'm with Cebu on the gay and lesbian thing. Plus, did you notice Susie looks...well...dykey? Like she's protesting just a bit too much? Anyway. Mostly, it's just scary to me because Brio is the Focus on the Family magazine--and Focus on the Family is the fundie group here in Colorado that continually tries to nullify gay rights. But there are a few other things, examples of the fundie mind-set that make me shudder.

Let's see, there's the one where she advises a girl to tell her parents about the porn hidden in her brother's room--"Pornography can fry, twist and ruin a mind. It robs people of dignity, integrity and a close relationship with Christ. Porn is extremely dangerous, and I encourage you to tell your folks. Wouldn’t you do the same if you saw a loaded gun in your bro’s room?"

Then there's her helpful information about the RU486 abortion pill: "I’ve heard 86 is a slang word for death. Sometimes a restaurant’s kitchen staff will use this lingo to mean something’s gone — there’s no more of it. Interesting, huh? I guess we could interpret RU-486 as 'Are you for death?'" A little over-interpretive, aren't we?
Posted by Cebu on Thu, 09/30/2004 - 7:08am.
Wow, I didn't even read the RU486 stuff. What a dumbass.

My brother went through a stage when he was into dirty magazines. Pretty normal, actually, as a teen boy. He turned out fine, and is now just like Susie.
Posted by Saint on Thu, 09/30/2004 - 10:49am.
My wife's best friend is married to an uber-Mormon. He, too, used to be a big fan of porn, before turning into a man who won't allow R-rated movies into the house and won't even kiss his wife in front of the children. So apparently, porn really does ruin minds, in that it turns people into religious nuts....
Posted by Matt on Fri, 10/01/2004 - 1:16am.
Which, of course, makes me think of that fantastic Sean Cullen song, "You've Got A Friend In Porn."

It may become a CITYBagel post if I get up the gumption.
Posted by Kris the Girl on Fri, 10/01/2004 - 6:50am.
That sounds like a disease.
"Oh excuse me, do you have anything for this gumption?"
"Aisle 5, man, and cover yourself in public! There are children!"

(I know what it is really, it's just always sounded like some kind of affliction to me.)
Posted by Cebu on Wed, 09/29/2004 - 4:57pm.
Anyone that says gays and lesbians are hellbound can bite me. That's one reason *I* don't like her. I also find her scary because I find religion a bit scary, tho not in a "it intimidates me" way. But you already knew all this about me.
I agree...
Posted by paul on Wed, 09/29/2004 - 6:11pm.
...with both of the above statements. That sort of arrogant judgmental stance raises my hackles every time, and instantly makes me want to start debating them so I can tear them down- which is not always a good thing.

Religion is very scary in that it can be used to manipulate the populace at large in very irrational ways. In these days of suicide bombers and the like I think I hardly need go further into that, other than to say that I have yet to see a major organized religion that doesn't do that in some way. One of the best bumper stickers I've seen said "Jesus Save Me From Your Followers".
Posted by Saint on Tue, 09/28/2004 - 10:20am.
So this is the only quote on the front page that has less than ten comments, and it's bugging me, because I remember the good old days when we could hit fifty or more comments on every thread. So, here are some random (work-safe) links:

Odd Todd. Very funny, especially if you've ever been out of work for long periods of time.

The Nephilim Resistance Task Force. I couldn't really explain it if I tried.

And finally, the frightening Dear Susie. The Dear Abby of the fundamentalist set.
Posted by marinerd on Wed, 09/29/2004 - 7:56am.
Thanks again for another great website! The Dear Susie one, I mean. I like starting my day by being terrified.

Also the website you posted somewhere else, the religious website you weren't sure was for real? That caused quite a debate here in the office, but after reading the story about the search for an apatosaurus in the "dark continent", I decided it was a joke after all. It was missing that certain tone most actual christian websites have. I could be wrong, though! But it was funny, intentionally or not. Thanks!
No, Uh
Posted by Jon on Wed, 09/29/2004 - 9:39am.
I think that the Nephilim one is "legit", aka not a joke. In terms of theology it seems a bit of a stretch, but theology was never my strong point.

The nephilim are mentioned in part of Genesis. They aren't referred to again, in my limited OT (Old Testament, not off topic) knowledge.

Noah is mentioned elsewhere. People sometimes ask bizarre questions like "Were there unicorns on the ark?" Beats me.

Besides, people always try to define evil in terms they can reconcile with their world view. This one is a bit out there, but I've heard stranger ideas before.
The "certain tone" for Christian websites intrigues me. Do all people with religious faith have the same tone as Jack Chick tracts? It's funny (not really) to me that certain groups can get away with complaining about religious persecution/stereotyping, but others can't.
My religious tendencies are a bit on the wane, so it doesn't bother me personally, just in general.
Uhh... hi. I'm back. Yeah
Posted by AFSP on Wed, 10/06/2004 - 2:11am.
I don't sound like a Chick tract. Those things are scary. Although some of them can be quite amusing. My favourite line from one is in the "Bewitched" tract when one of the demons goes "But why are those old reruns so important, Master?" It's incredibly funny until you realise he's actually serious.

(um, I used to post here about a year ago. Don't know if anyone remembers me...)
Posted by ParU on Mon, 10/11/2004 - 6:04pm.
I too remember - welcome back!
It's Amino world without Chemists
Alien From a Strange Planet.
Posted by paul on Wed, 10/06/2004 - 4:49am.
I remember.

It's well we cannot hear the screams
we make in other peoples' dreams.
--Edward Gorey
I think
Posted by Saint on Wed, 09/29/2004 - 10:08am.
marinerd was referring to the Objective Ministries, which I linked elsewhere. A couple people have since told me it is definitely a joke, created by the same guys who built Landover Baptist after LB got so far out it wasn't fooling anyone anymore.

As far as the Nephilim site...you know how it strikes me? Now, mind, I think they really might be serious, but to the outside non-believing observer, it looks like an exercise in role-playing. "Okay guys, let's get all our paintball guns together and go hunt the evil giants!" The elaborate tribe system they've developed for Nephilim reminds me of White Wolf's games, perhaps mostly because everything has a pretentious name. Their theology doesn't seem to contain much more than you could gather from a couple Sunday school classes and a viewing of the Prophecy movie series with Christopher Walken.

I don't think all people of faith have the same tone as a Chick tract...but most of the fundamentalists really do seem to.
Posted by Jon on Thu, 09/30/2004 - 9:15am.
In that case, I apologize for my mistake. Mea culpa.
Posted by marinerd on Mon, 08/23/2004 - 10:58am.
Besides, it should actually be "quote endquote" But no one these days ever gets that one right.
Good to know
Posted by Jon on Mon, 08/23/2004 - 12:54pm.
Thanks, mari, I didn't actually know that one.
Quote unquote
Posted by Jon on Fri, 08/20/2004 - 7:25am.
It's not quite a grammar thing, more a "turn of phrase" bit, but... if you're using quote unquote, shouldn't it go "quote together unquote"?
I mean, if you're using the hooked-finger quote gesture thingie (if that makes any sense), you wiggle the fingers before and after the emphasized word.

...Or it could be the generator fumes I've been inhaling (involuntarily, mind you) at my office.
Posted by Matt on Fri, 08/20/2004 - 11:00am.
I'm not saying it's right, but when it's only one word being quoted, I've often heard people say it as "quote unquote ____"

But yeah, it probably should be the other way around. I've heard Dan Rather use this tool a lot and he always says "quote" before and "unquote" after the words in question.
Posted by umrguy on Fri, 08/20/2004 - 12:03pm.
Yeah, I've heard it as "quote unquote _______________ " quite a bit too. As far as the fingers thing, I personally tend to just make the sign twice (i.e., holding up the fingers, and then doing two curls of the fingers in a row) as I'm saying the word, not necessarily before and after. But that's me :)

-There's someone in my head, but it's not me.-
Posted by daen on Fri, 08/20/2004 - 7:37am.
It should.

People often don't bother, though.
stifled sigh
Oh dear
Posted by Desert Fox on Thu, 08/19/2004 - 10:07am.
Run, dude. Run far, far away.

"Life is too short for grief. Or regret. Or bullshit." -- Edward Abbey, Vox Clamantis in Deserto
Kill her now!
Posted by hypoxic on Thu, 08/19/2004 - 9:00am.
Nothing like going into a relationship with the knowlegde that you're going to be a drama queen. Why do people do this? Isn't a relationship hard enough without one of the partners intentionally sabatoging it for the drama? Gah! these people need signs so they can find each other and the normal people won't get sucked into one of their little games.

Me bitter?
No, just
Posted by paul on Thu, 08/19/2004 - 2:30pm.
older, wiser and battle-scarred. Welcome to the club.
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