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Joys of parenthood
Beautiful
my ex brought our daughter over today. she's almost six.
me: "hiya honey."
honey: "hi, daddy! I ate a packing peanut!"
mom, answering my best rendition of the people's eyebrow:"[her puppy] dopey got into them, and she was scared he'd get sick. so i told her they're made out of cornstarch now."
me: "she knows what cornstarch is?"
mom: "she knows it's edible. i explained."
me: "uh-huh. so how was it, honey?"
honey: "it was gross! it was like a cheeto with the cheese licked off."
me: "reckon you won't be eating any more of them, huh?"
honey (giggling): "i brought some in my pocket."
me: "hiya honey."
honey: "hi, daddy! I ate a packing peanut!"
mom, answering my best rendition of the people's eyebrow:"[her puppy] dopey got into them, and she was scared he'd get sick. so i told her they're made out of cornstarch now."
me: "she knows what cornstarch is?"
mom: "she knows it's edible. i explained."
me: "uh-huh. so how was it, honey?"
honey: "it was gross! it was like a cheeto with the cheese licked off."
me: "reckon you won't be eating any more of them, huh?"
honey (giggling): "i brought some in my pocket."
Warning, offensive
Graffiti
a lot of people might not see the humor in this, so let me start off by saying why i think it's funny. 1 how often can you sing offensive men's room graffiti? 2 between composing it and writing it, this guy must have stayed on the crapper for days.
"for all the guys who've been screwed by mara c:
mara the homie bitch
she'll make your privates itch
but for a tank of gas
she'll let you go up her ass
she's mara the homie bitch!
mara the pop-eyed whore
she'll suck you off and more
just give her a rock
and she'll ride your cock
she's mara the pop-eyed whore!
thank you and good night!"
"for all the guys who've been screwed by mara c:
mara the homie bitch
she'll make your privates itch
but for a tank of gas
she'll let you go up her ass
she's mara the homie bitch!
mara the pop-eyed whore
she'll suck you off and more
just give her a rock
and she'll ride your cock
she's mara the pop-eyed whore!
thank you and good night!"