girl 1 - "and i discovered that coffee eventually makes you sleep!"
girl 2 - "...really?"
girl 1 - "yea, dude...I TOTALLY PASSED OUT!"
- 2 girls at the store

me: why the hell after 10 months should it matter why i broke up with him?
friend: because he's probably just been dumped again and he's trying to figure out a pattern. Remember High Fidelity?
me: i know, but i don't care. he's a terrible lay and an even worse person.
-me talking to my friend after talking to my ex-b/f

boy 1 - "wow, did you guys see janet's boob?"
boy 2 - "dude, yea...it looked like a white girl's boob!"
boy 1 - "yea, i know, how disappointing..."
-2 boys within a group of guys in the hallway before 1st hour

boy - "have you ever noticed when your arm rubs off of a table it sometimes makes a farting noise?"
girl - "yes, indeed. what about it?"
boy - "well...what kind-of sound do you think you would get if you farted on a table? logic dictates you would get an arm sound..."
girl - "*laughs* now that is a question to be considered."
- two teenagers at the grocery store

*a little boy walks over to the soda fountain at st.louis bread company and stands on his tip toes with his cup to try and get soda*
*a man walks over and sees the boy and helps him* author's note: i assumed it was his dad or something
*a woman walks over as the man is finishing helping the boy get his drink*
woman - "oh, spencer, why didn't you just wait for mommy?"
boy - *smiles up from his soda and walks away*
man - "i just...saw him struggling, it was no big deal."
woman - "well thank you so so much."
man - "it's not a problem, he's a cute kid"
*they smile at each other and look each other over, before the man walks away*
- scene took place at my local st.louis bread company...and i could tell by the way that woman looked at that man that she was thinking 'he'd make a good father'...it was the look in her eye. and the little boy really was a cutie.

boy - "hey!"
girl - "look, don't talk to me on school grounds."
boy - "wha?"
girl - "y'know what...don't talk me outside of school grounds either."
boy - "i..."
girl - "go away."
-a guy and girl in the hallway at my school

girl1 - "i got a massage for christmas...in miami."
girl2 - "at an expensive spa and everything?"
girl1 - "yep. although at one point i was about to fall asleep and the girl tried to massage my butt! when i said 'what are you doing?!', she said 'i thought you were asleep'. isn't that a little weird?"
girl2 - "well that can be part of the massage sometimes."
girl1 - "yea, well. my mom didn't tell me that they were going to massage my butt."
-2 girls in my Algebra 2 class

guy1 - "shut up SPJ."
guy2 - *looks horrified*
guy3 - "SPJ?"
guy1 - "he didn't tell you? this customer came in the other day asking about a tv and said he had already talked to someone about it, when i asked who, he said 'i don't know. um...he looked like south park jesus'.
guy3 - "you're kidding? *laughs hysterically*"
guy1 - "the worst part is i was watching south park the other night and jesus was fighting satan and the whole time i'm going 'kurt is fighting satan! kurt is fighting satan!'"
-3 employees of RadioShack talking while trying to fix my cell phone