"Here's my underwear-slash-tool drawer..."
- a girl in Tiki

"Okay, okay...what does a person who can't see very well put over their eyes so they can see better?"
*random guesses, like eye patches, etc.*
"Glasses!" *hysterical laughing* "And what makes it funnier is that it's true!"
- guy telling a 'joke' to a group of people in Saga...he seriously thought it was the best joke ever. And I mean *ever*.

"...I was wearing a shirt that sort of made me look pregnant, and he told me that my baby was going to burn in hell. I said, 'I'm not even pregnant, you bastard!'"
- woman at a workshop

"'Good night, honey bun'? Oh *seriously*..."
- girl in Tiki

"What is this?"
"White chocolate."
"Will it kill me?"
"That's why I cut it into little pieces. Here's a piece of death - enjoy!"
- two girls in Tiki, holding a celebration (of what? not sure...of life perhaps?)

"Sara just yelled at me to quit being anti-social."
"Well, that's what we do here."
"Yes, we're all anti-social."
"Then we get married!"
- girl and guy in Tiki (can you tell where I spend most of my life?)

"Have I rubbed off on you that badly?"
"Wait...did you just call her Natalie?"
"No, I said, 'badly.' I've never called anybody Natalie..."
- guy and girl in Tiki

"Sara has cookies."
"What?"
"Sara has cookies."
"Oooh...I thought you said, 'Sara has herpes.'"
- two girls in Tiki

*knock on door*
"Uh...I don't think so."
"Oh, I think so." *barges into room*
"Oh my God!"
"What?"
*door slams* "I'm kind of naked."
"Oh."
*click of deadbolt*
*pitter patter of footsteps down the hall*
*hysterical giggling*
- two of my dormmates (the hysterical giggling was me...hey, it was 1:30 in the morning, what was I supposed to laugh at? The final narrative I didn't have done? Don't think so.)

"My pants are hot!"
"Okay, okay. So...you can take my math test for me..."
- two girls in my dorm