"Have I rubbed off on you that badly?"
"Wait...did you just call her Natalie?"
"No, I said, 'badly.' I've never called anybody Natalie..."
- guy and girl in Tiki

"Sara has cookies."
"What?"
"Sara has cookies."
"Oooh...I thought you said, 'Sara has herpes.'"
- two girls in Tiki

*knock on door*
"Uh...I don't think so."
"Oh, I think so." *barges into room*
"Oh my God!"
"What?"
*door slams* "I'm kind of naked."
"Oh."
*click of deadbolt*
*pitter patter of footsteps down the hall*
*hysterical giggling*
- two of my dormmates (the hysterical giggling was me...hey, it was 1:30 in the morning, what was I supposed to laugh at? The final narrative I didn't have done? Don't think so.)

"My pants are hot!"
"Okay, okay. So...you can take my math test for me..."
- two girls in my dorm

"You know, we don't really need men...we can just collect their sperm."
"Yeah, we can inject it into our arms!"
"Yeah, because that's how we reproduce. Sara, when a man and a woman love each other..."
- two of my dormmates

"The ice cream speaks to me! I'm going to put cheese on it..."
- guy behind me in line at Saga (the cafeteria)

"I can't decide if I want to get some ice cream and eat it on my way home..."
"Ice cream...? Why would you...why?"
"Yes, I know, cold, but..."
"Ice cream is cold."
- two girls and the last comment was made by a guy in the Hixon Union Building

"People these days are trying to separate sex and marriage. When I'm married, I'm gonna have so much sex..."
- one girl to another outside Stewart Hall, Whitworth College

"Umm...I'm *insert name here* and I'm a music major...thinking about double majoring in theatre..."
"Don't think, just do."
- actor and theatre prof during a post-play discussion of Last Train to Nibroc

"Bye, I'm going to get married now!"
"Okay, have fun!"
"I will!"
- two girls in Tiki