Seeing one of my sons' friends the other night made me think about this particular song by Offspring:

Pretty Fly (For A White Guy)

You know it's kind of hard
Just to get along today
Our subject isn't cool
But he fakes it anyway
He may not have a clue
And he may not have style
But everything he lacks
Well he makes up in denial

So don't debate, a player straight
You know he really doesn't get it anyway
He's gonna play the field, and keep it real
For you no way, for you no way
So if you don't rate, just overcompensate
At least you'll know you can always go on Ricki Lake
The world needs wannabe's
So do that brand new thing

He needs some cool tunes
Not just any will suffice
But they didn't have Ice Cube
So he bought Vanilla Ice
Now cruising in his Pinto, he sees homies as he pass
But if he looks twice
They're gonna kick his lily ass

Now he's getting a tattoo
He's gettin' ink done
He asked for a '13', but they drew a '31'
Friends say he's trying too hard
And he's not quite hip
But in his own mind
He's the dopest trip

So don't debate, a player straight
You know he really doesn't get it anyway
He's gonna play the field, and keep it real
For you no way, for you no way
So if you don't rate, just overcompensate
At least you'll know you can always go on Ricki Lake
The world needs wannabe's
The world loves wannabe's
So let's get some more wannabe's
And do that brand new thing

Someday I'm gonna be famous,
Do I have talent, well, no.
These days you don't really need it,
Thanks to reality shows

Can't wait to date a supermodel,
Can't wait to sue my dad.
Can't wait to wreck a Ferrari
On my way to rehab....

Cause when you're a Celebrity
It's adios reality
You can act just like a fool
People think you're cool
Just cause you're on TV.
I can throw major fits
When my latte isn't just how I like it
They say I've gone insane,
I'll blame it on the fame,
And the pressures that it goes with
Being a Celebrity
uh huh

I get to cry to Barbara Walters,
When things don't go my way.
I'll get community service
No matter which law I break

I'll make the supermarket tabloids,
They'll write some awful stuff
But the more they run my name down,
THE MORE MY PRICE GOES UP!

Cause when you're a Celebrity,
It's adios reality.
No matter what you do,
People think you're cool,
Just cause you're on TV.
I can fall in and out of love,
Have marriages that barely last a month.
When they go down the drain
I'll blame it on fame
And say it's just so tough.
Being a Celebrity

So let's hitch up the wagons and head out west
To the land of fun in the sun
We'll be real world bachelors
Jackass Millionaires
Hey, Hey, Hollywood
Here we come!

Yeah, when you're a Celebrity
It's adios reality
No matter what you do,
People think you're cool,
Just cause you're on t.v.
...Being a Celebrity
...Yeah Celebrity!
...uh-huh
"Where's my coffee?"

-There's someone in my head, but it's not me.-

All Your Way - Morphine

Let's put it to bed
Let's put it down
I can't talk about it not right now
On my dying day I might be able to say
On a still sea full of manly rage
On my dying day I might be able to say
I might be able to say
You know I finally see things all your way
All your way

I was raised with the strong of heart
But if you touch me wrong I fall apart
I found a woman who's soft but she's also hard
While I slept she nailed down my heart
I run good but I'm hard to start
And the brakes are bad so I'm hard to stop
I found a woman who's soft but she's also hard
While I slept she nailed down my heart

Let's put it to bed
Let's put it down
I can't talk about it not right now
On my dying day I might be able to say
On a still sea full of manly rage
On my dying day I might be able to say
Where every word explodes in my face
I might be able to say
You know I finally see things all your way
I finally see things all your way

-Jn-
Efreeti Sophist

Here's a song I've been wanting to add for a while but kept forgetting. It's a hilarious little tune that my cousin put on a mix tape for me years ago. It's all in jest, of course. My gay cousin has an excellent sense of humor. It's also to the tune of Cumbaya. Sing along, everybody! :D

We wear Birkenstocks
Lesbian
We drive pick-up trucks
Lesbian
We've all got an aunt who's a
Lesbian
Oh yes - Lesbian
*
We don't eat red meat except some of the time
Lesbian
We like pocket knives
Lesbian
We don't tip real well (ooh)
Lesbian
Oh yes - Lesbian
*
"Okay now, here's a special verse for all the non-lesbians out there!"
"That's me!"
"That's right! Even you men!"
*
We wish we could be
Lesbians
We'd join a softball team
Lesbians
But we're not tough enough
Lesbians
Bench warmer - Lesbians
*
We throw solstice parties
Lesbian
We use power tools
Lesbian
We own dogs that are part wolf
Lesbian
Oh yes - Lesbian

I don't know what this is from but if anyone here does, do share. I'm mighty curious.

Spellbound - John Lee Hooker

-Jn-
Efreeti Sophist

I made the mistake of reading the paper this morning!

You say you want a revolution
Well, you know
We all want to change the world
You tell me that it's evolution
Well, you know
We all want to change the world
But when you talk about destruction
Don't you know that you can count me out

Don't you know it's gonna be all right
all right, all right

You say you got a real solution
Well, you know
We'd all love to see the plan
You ask me for a contribution
Well, you know
We're doing what we can
But when you want money for people with minds that hate
All I can tell is brother you have to wait

Don't you know it's gonna be all right
all right, all right

You say you'll change the constitution
Well, you know
We all want to change your head
You tell me it's the institution
Well, you know
You better free you mind instead
But if you go carrying pictures of chairman Mao
You ain't going to make it with anyone anyhow

Don't you know it's gonna be all right
all right, all right
all right, all right, all right
all right, all right, all right

"Love Soon" - John Mayer

I know you've been sworn
I read your complaint
you're needin' someone older
And though I've been warned to live day by day
there's something taking over

Did you expect to kiss me one time
while lookin at me with the same eyes ever again?
So come on and face it
so come on and face it
it's time that we say it

You can cross the line whenever you want to
I'm callin it love soon
Close your mind and waste some time if you have to
I'm callin it love soon
It's not about you now
it's what we are

Your mother complains that you need a man
you haven't mentioned me yet
And all of your friends don't know who I am
I've been your best-kept secret

I understand I wasn't part of the plan
a dollar short, a minute early
But I am your man
so come on and face it
so come on and face it
it's time that we say it

You can cross the line whenever you want to
I'm callin it love soon
Close your mind and waste some time if you have to
I'm callin it love soon
It's not about you now
it's what we are

Let's bypass the bullshit and move on because
the minutehand moves faster than you think it does
and by no fault of yours
and by no fault of mine
The bottom line is playing in the bed that we've been layin in tonight.

You can cross the line whenever you want to
I'm callin it love soon
Close your mind and waste some time if you have to
I'm callin it love soon
It's not about you now
it's what we are

(Psst! You bold tag is open, Monk.)

-Jn-
Efreeti Sophist

Edit: Much better!

completely off topic, but everyone MUST see the second "Charlie's Angels" movie. About 40 minutes in....this cargo ship is named...........Merkin.

I always think that as long as they can get everyone to THINK it's nautical, then that's enough.

Some friends of mine work at a grocery store, and they now have to wear green aprons..and bow ties and nice shirts. It's supposed to be retro or something.

Have some Veggietales running through they're head?
We're the pirates / who don't do anything....
Ahh, good times.

Why does the checker think that a cruise ship robbing pirate would automatically be lazy?

At least it's nice to find a checker with a sense of humor, instead of an automaton. I'm bummed I forgot to wear my skeleton earrings to work today. I guess I'll wear them to the hospital. They have sparkly eyes!

I think is tomorrow. I think it coincides with all saint's day.

Which is why this is Hallow's eve.

At least that's what I was taught or made up.

Happy multipurpose day ParU! :)

All Happy Returns to you, ParU. This is far from my favorite holiday, though. When my daughter was a little girl, it always seemed to be this time of year when her appendix would start acting up. But always briefly. Years later when we finally had the damn thing out, the surgeon told us it was chronic appendicitis. I'd never heard of such a thing; thought it was always acute. Anyway, I try to go to the movies on Halloween night.

I just wish more people would think I'm brilliant when I imply that they are being lazy. And I'm not being at all hypocritical because I recognize that I am lazy and find that brilliant. Secondarily, I'd be more scared of pirates in Hawaiian shirts that traditional pirate garb anyhow.

in hawaiian shirts?
Where do I sign up?
_ _ " ...And Mr. Stiggs is trying to kill fish with his mind..."

Eve's Grandfather would be thrilled with this one. Anyone know what time it is when it's 16 bells? (A rare occurrence).

And FP!