Ok, so it's Christmas morning, we've all opened our gifts (this actually happened years ago) ... my sister and I have taken our loot to our bedrooms, my father has walked into the bathroom and my mother is still in the living room, looking through a gift basket I gave her.

Mom: "Ha! What do you think of this, Ed ... your daughter gave me age-defying cream!"

without missing a beat, my father passes by my door, leans in and says, under his breath:

"Now all we need is bitch-defying cream..."