"So how's your mom?"
"Oh, she's sick. We took her to the doctor yesterday."
"Aww. Is it that flu going around?"
"No, she's got something called SARS."
"SARS! Jesus! That's really bad for you! That's when you poop alot, isn't it?"
"I know. Yeah, she can't quit pooping. I've told her for years she shouldn't eat mayonnaise."
"So she got it from mayonnaise?"
"Yeah. That's what happens when you leave--*cell rings* Hello? Are you throwing up again? Eat yogurt. I told you, it's got vitamins. We'll get rid of that salmon."
"Did you say salmon? Do you mean salmonella?"
"Yeah. Dr. Gates said it was Salmonella Accused the Retard of something."
"Were those his exact words?"
"Yeah. He's a great doctor."
"Oh, I know."
---Two older ladies purchasing endless amounts of douche at Wal-Mart in Rogers, AR.