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Guam
Funny
Friend: "I live in, like, Guam, man!"
Me: "Guam? Why Guam? Why not, um, Canada or something?"
Friend: "Dude, I live on the other side of the island and that's Guam enough for me!"
- My friend in describing how far away from the school her house is.
Me: "Guam? Why Guam? Why not, um, Canada or something?"
Friend: "Dude, I live on the other side of the island and that's Guam enough for me!"
- My friend in describing how far away from the school her house is.
IQ
Um...
"Smarts: Um...well...he ranks somewhere between genius and moron. We're quite sure of this due to our extensive research."
-On a web site about Haldir of Lorien from the Lord of the Rings trilogy (I'm talking about the movies, people!)
-On a web site about Haldir of Lorien from the Lord of the Rings trilogy (I'm talking about the movies, people!)
Atkins, Eat Your Heart Out!!!
Wisdom
"Do you think that if I only ate French Fries and water I'd loose weight?"
-A girl to her friend at my school. I would also like to point out that water is a liquid.
-A girl to her friend at my school. I would also like to point out that water is a liquid.
Cunstruction Site Blues
Funny
Construction worker: (about a gorgeous, classy woman walking by) "Gee, I'd love to get into your pants!"
Woman: (Walking up to him as though she were interested, but she says...) Mr., I already have one a**-hole in my pants, I don't need another one!"
Random Construction Guys: "Ooooooohhhhh! DISS!"
-In Passing a constuction site. This woman is now my hero!
Woman: (Walking up to him as though she were interested, but she says...) Mr., I already have one a**-hole in my pants, I don't need another one!"
Random Construction Guys: "Ooooooohhhhh! DISS!"
-In Passing a constuction site. This woman is now my hero!
"Valley Girls"
Um...
Girl 1: "Yeah, I know, but I wasn't all, like, B-F-F-F-F!"
Girl 2: "Yeah, I know, like, totally!"
-Two girls walking on my campus.
Girl 2: "Yeah, I know, like, totally!"
-Two girls walking on my campus.
Strange Ways to do Good Deeds
Funny
"Do you get the irony in this? Mrs. Roman's selling Lollipops to fight against Juveniel Diabetes!"
-an enthused girl, running up to my friend and I at school. Needless to say, this made our day!
-an enthused girl, running up to my friend and I at school. Needless to say, this made our day!
Mistaken Identity
Funny
Mom: (Upon seeing a woman who might have really been a man) "Oh, my God! Is that a GUY?! Or just a really ugly, hairy woman?"
-5 minutes later-
Mom: "But really, what was IT?!"
Older Brother: "Welcome to college!"
My mom and brother on the drive up to my brother's college on the first time. Luckily, the entire 5 of us were there for this touching moment... Jury's still out on the gender of the subject of our conversation!
-5 minutes later-
Mom: "But really, what was IT?!"
Older Brother: "Welcome to college!"
My mom and brother on the drive up to my brother's college on the first time. Luckily, the entire 5 of us were there for this touching moment... Jury's still out on the gender of the subject of our conversation!
Friends' quotes
Beautiful
"If the only way to be with you was in my dreams, then I'd want to sleep forever."
(This was actually in Josie & the Pussycats [below]):
Josie: "And what happens when I stop believing in myself?"
Alan M.: "Then I'll just have to believe in you for you..."
"Hold me, whatever lies beyond this morning is a little later on...." -Part of the Kingdom Hearts theme song...
(This was actually in Josie & the Pussycats [below]):
Josie: "And what happens when I stop believing in myself?"
Alan M.: "Then I'll just have to believe in you for you..."
"Hold me, whatever lies beyond this morning is a little later on...." -Part of the Kingdom Hearts theme song...
Intresting sales pitch...
Funny
"Free Rabi with the purchase of a cage."
This sign appeared in sticker letters on the window of a petstore. I can only assume (and PRAY) that they meant "Rabbit".
This sign appeared in sticker letters on the window of a petstore. I can only assume (and PRAY) that they meant "Rabbit".
Sister Act
Ironic
This comes from a Religion teacher who happens to be a sister. At the time, she was trying to make a point about Irony, and this is the phrase she gave:
"I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize!"
"I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize!"