Guam
Submitted by Sephiroths_Slave on Wed, 10/27/2004 - 5:11pm. Funny
Friend: "I live in, like, Guam, man!"
Me: "Guam? Why Guam? Why not, um, Canada or something?"
Friend: "Dude, I live on the other side of the island and that's Guam enough for me!"

- My friend in describing how far away from the school her house is.
IQ
Submitted by Sephiroths_Slave on Mon, 10/25/2004 - 6:36pm. Um...
"Smarts: Um...well...he ranks somewhere between genius and moron. We're quite sure of this due to our extensive research."

-On a web site about Haldir of Lorien from the Lord of the Rings trilogy (I'm talking about the movies, people!)
Atkins, Eat Your Heart Out!!!
Submitted by Sephiroths_Slave on Mon, 10/25/2004 - 6:03pm. Wisdom
"Do you think that if I only ate French Fries and water I'd loose weight?"

-A girl to her friend at my school. I would also like to point out that water is a liquid.
Cunstruction Site Blues
Submitted by Sephiroths_Slave on Wed, 10/20/2004 - 8:09pm. Funny
Construction worker: (about a gorgeous, classy woman walking by) "Gee, I'd love to get into your pants!"
Woman: (Walking up to him as though she were interested, but she says...) Mr., I already have one a**-hole in my pants, I don't need another one!"
Random Construction Guys: "Ooooooohhhhh! DISS!"

-In Passing a constuction site. This woman is now my hero!
"Valley Girls"
Submitted by Sephiroths_Slave on Wed, 10/20/2004 - 7:50pm. Um...
Girl 1: "Yeah, I know, but I wasn't all, like, B-F-F-F-F!"
Girl 2: "Yeah, I know, like, totally!"

-Two girls walking on my campus.
Strange Ways to do Good Deeds
Submitted by Sephiroths_Slave on Wed, 10/20/2004 - 6:45pm. Funny
"Do you get the irony in this? Mrs. Roman's selling Lollipops to fight against Juveniel Diabetes!"

-an enthused girl, running up to my friend and I at school. Needless to say, this made our day!
Mistaken Identity
Submitted by Sephiroths_Slave on Sun, 10/17/2004 - 6:20pm. Funny
Mom: (Upon seeing a woman who might have really been a man) "Oh, my God! Is that a GUY?! Or just a really ugly, hairy woman?"

-5 minutes later-

Mom: "But really, what was IT?!"

Older Brother: "Welcome to college!"

My mom and brother on the drive up to my brother's college on the first time. Luckily, the entire 5 of us were there for this touching moment... Jury's still out on the gender of the subject of our conversation!
Friends' quotes
Submitted by Sephiroths_Slave on Sat, 10/16/2004 - 7:37pm. Beautiful
"If the only way to be with you was in my dreams, then I'd want to sleep forever."
(This was actually in Josie & the Pussycats [below]):
Josie: "And what happens when I stop believing in myself?"
Alan M.: "Then I'll just have to believe in you for you..."

"Hold me, whatever lies beyond this morning is a little later on...." -Part of the Kingdom Hearts theme song...
Intresting sales pitch...
Submitted by Sephiroths_Slave on Sat, 10/16/2004 - 7:22pm. Funny
"Free Rabi with the purchase of a cage."

This sign appeared in sticker letters on the window of a petstore. I can only assume (and PRAY) that they meant "Rabbit".
Sister Act
Submitted by Sephiroths_Slave on Sat, 10/16/2004 - 7:00pm. Ironic
This comes from a Religion teacher who happens to be a sister. At the time, she was trying to make a point about Irony, and this is the phrase she gave:

"I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize!"