'His name's Giacometti. And I reckon he's the ripest, oldest cheese of the twentieth century.'

(and then)

'...they study physics and mathematics and doughnuts and stuff.'

-In a drama lecture, about ten minutes apart. I still want to know what type of scientists were being referred to in the second part.

Tutor: 'Maladaptive behaviour is one of the signs of mental abnormality. It means that the behaviour is bad for you. I'm a heavy smoker. Is that bad for me?'
Class: 'Yes...'
Tutor: 'But would you want to lock me up?'
(silence)

-In a psychology tutorial

"...and if anything goes wrong, you were never here. I was never here. And if anyone asks you to sign a piece of paper, sign it 'Donald Duck'. That's very important."

-End of a lecture on how to rig lights in a theatre.

"$6 for two girls kissing?"
"You know, that's not a bad deal."

-A guy and girl at Deakin University, Australia.