"How about lemon doodle? That's cute, right?"
"No."
"Babycakes?"
"No."
"Ooh! How about Sugar Britches? Can I call you Sugar britches? Please?"
"Look, I've got a first name, why don't you concentrate on using that."
"If you keep using that tone with me, I'll start calling you Mr. Grumpy-head."

a very excitable girl to her not so excited boyfriend in a Hy Vee checkout line.

"Ooooh you broke it! You're going to have to mow her lawn now, kid."
"Nuh-uh, I swept her driveway."
"What are you saying? *She* owes *you*?"


a big sister trying to punish her younger sibling for breaking the chair in a waiting room.

"...but your house is *haunted*, Molly. You're going to need something more ferocious than a little fluffy dog for protection."
"You're absolutely right."
"How would you feel about a quasi-domesticated mountain lion?"

"So, if you were a guy, would *you* be a swimmer?"
"Yeah I probably would. If I was, well you know...well endowed."
"Oh, yeah...definitely, what with wearing that tiny speedo and everything."

"...She probably picks her guys depending on the season. Like, in the winter time? Have you ever noticed she likes them on the chunky side?"
"Yeah, but they're more like accessories in the summer time. (mocking high pitched girly voice) Tom isn't tan enough to go with my blue mini skirt, but Jason's eyes match it perfectly!"

"Showing a little breast is never a bad thing, sweetie."

~Said by an obese woman to her (very) young daughter at a hair salon

"Do you think the creators of Tetris meant for it to have so many sexual connotations?"




Think about it...

"Is that guy that wears girl pants?"

"Yeah, but they look good on him."

"Wait, are you saying that you'd trade my friendship for a donut?"

"Hey what are those ones nuts called? I think they're Brazilian?"

:thinks for a minute: "Oh, those hairy ones?"

"No, I don't think so."