Archived comment by jeff from australia:
Subtle,sweet and absolutlely stunning in its simplicity.Personally, I prefer semi-colons, but that's only since the colostomy op......

Archived comment by Missy:
That happens to be someting that I heard come out of a few people's mouths. I still find the fact funny to this day.

Archived comment by Saint:
She stopped! She stopped! Thank ya, Je-sus!

If you'll excuse me, I have to go eat. ;)

Archived comment by Apple:
Very glad to hear it, Saint! Cheers!

Archived comment by Saint:
After yet another trip to the doctor, we're convinced there is nothing wrong with my SO except for the godd*mn shot. No cancer, thank God. But the shot is more than bad enough. Too bad there's no class-action lawsuit over that crap yet; our financial concerns could go the way of our health concerns. So that's the end of that, then.

Archived comment by Saint:
Finally got my SO to go to the doctor today. The doc said her problem is breakthrough bleeding, and very common; and advised that she take the next depo shot, and the next after that (six more months of possible misery), after which her cycle should even out. My SO was very adamant that she wanted nothing more to do with the shot from hell, especially since she would be paying $40 a month for the pleasure of taking it. So instead the doc gave her regular birth control pills, which may end the eternal period, or may just screw her up for a couple months in a different way.

While I am somewhat relieved that the doc didn't think it was cancer or anything like that, I'm not sure I have total confidence in the doctor in question. Among other things, I'm fond of seeing lab results--they may lie, but at least if the doc cares enough to have labs done, that's something--and in this case, there were no labs, just an examination.

But mainly I just fear the doc is a beer short of a six-pack. Even after my SO told the doc she hadn't had sex with a guy since the abortion over two months ago, the doc asked if there was any chance she was pregnant. And after she explained she was in a purely monogomous lesbian relationship, the doc sort of absently nodded and reminded her to use back-up birth control if her pills ran out or if she suspected she had forgotten to take them.

Archived comment by Saint:
Planned Parenthood lost its funding in Colorado, so unless you have money, they don't even really want to talk to you. And even if you're paying, they want you out as fast as possible. They have offered to put her on the pill, to regulate her cycle (cause, yeah, more sh*t screwing up her system is exactly what she needs). They refuse to do any comprehensive examination while she's still bleeding--their excuse is the risk of transmitting AIDS, because they re-use the exam equipment. Hello, don't they sterilize that stuff anyway?

I figure at this point, steff, it's a little late to worry about getting personal. Although that guy Darren might start pestering us for comments not relating to the post, I think I'll just take my chances.

Archived comment by steff:
oh they do not either the hell know when that shit gets out of your system!!!! *much eye rolling* sheesh. it's a hormonal drug, and obviously (OBviously) everybody reacts differently. they just take an average of when most ppl going of it for purposes of getting pregnant are able to conceive. it SHOULD be out of her system by then, but even if that happens, that in NO way means that her problems with it are going to go away, especially if (and i sincerely hope not) there's some other problem. i'm with arlene on this one - there should be some assisstance available (p.p. is SUPPOSED to be, but they clearly don't really give a shit). get her over here so she can see me glaring at her. *glare* don't MAKE us come over there! email me and keep me posted.... *I* don't mind opining about it here, but for you this is getting kinda personal. =)

Archived comment by Arlene:
As for the 'but I'm not contributing anything' excuse; tell her that you expect her to be there when you need help, which she can't do if she's seriously sick. Being able to accept help is also a gift.

Archived comment by Saint:
Next paycheck, I'm forcing her to go to the doc, whether she wants to or not. She's still bleeding, and it's scaring the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure it's scaring her, too, but she won't go to the doctor because she doesn't want to blow money when she feels like she isn't contributing anything. According to the Planned Parenthood people, the shot should be out of her system by May 12--so why is she still bleeding out and feeling like sh*t?

Thanks for the well-wishes and advice, all.

Archived comment by Arlene:
Sweetheart, find someone to ask. It's too much of a risk. I paid $100 to find out that I had healthy ovaries (sonogram) because of a scare. It was definitely money I could ill-afford (ate Ramen for awhile) but it did mean peace of mind.

Is there any kind of Health Dept or scaled pay clinic in your area? Call United Way & ask! If your gf just lost her job she may qualify for free help.

This is probably too late to help your gf & may not be a viable option, but investigate IUD's as an alternative to depo. Good luck, dears.

Archived comment by Saint:
When we met, my gf had just had an abortion. And, not knowing she was going to (I hope!) be spending the rest of her life with a woman, she went on the shot so she would have zero chance of going through that trauma again.

Archived comment by steff:
it IS pretty common, saint. but this is one of the many reasons i hate pp - because it can be a sign of something more serious. and the mood swings, etc, are more common than they let on also. everyone who i know who went on it (i can't imagine why your gf is on it, but that's squarely in the 'nomb' category! *grin*) either went into instant menopause, or hemmoraged for weeks. they should, at the very least, test her for anemia. really.

Archived comment by Saint:
Shee-yit. We don't have the money for a better doctor, and she doesn't have any insurance. The Planned Parenthood folks assure us this is really quite a common problem with the depo shot, and no cause for concern. Easy for them to say.

Archived comment by Apple:
That happened to me! The prolonged period thing. Cause? Cancer! The doctors thought it was a small problem at first so they tried to give me a simple solution! But it wasn't. That is why I am in the situation I am in now! And this site only recommends Advil for cramps. Nothing to do with the length of it. Sounds like you need a better doctor! Just my medically invalid opinion!

Archived comment by Saint:
Just a quick comment on the depo shot--it's evil, don't do it. I know a handful of women who have been on it, and all of them have had nasty side-effects. My gf, for instance, far from having no period, has been on her period for three goddamn weeks! The Planned Parenthood people have her taking four ibuprofen, three times a day, to try and put a plug in it and it isn't doing a damn thing (except maybe eating a hole in her stomache; ibuprofen does that). Also, she's having extreme difficulty in achieving orgasm, and her mood swings are terrible. I know, I know, TMI, but jeez--it shouldn't even be legal to hand out this shot, and if men had to take it the govt would have jerked it off the market long ago.

Archived comment by Yixz:
that was a good saying graffiti thingie.

i just wanna say that guys will never know what periods are like for us girls. ever. even if they read all the information about periods in the whole world. unless, maybe one day, some sort of technology came along for guys to feel the pain, texture and smell the period sensation. and when that technology comes along, i hope that it also transmitts the 'giving birth' sensation. then only will males understand.

oh, and this whole string should been shown to a health class. it's been enlightening. =)

Archived comment by Jade:
ok, so far I've only read about half of this thread, and although some of the guys here wonder what getting your period is like, they never say they want to go through over half their life getting it monthly, so I think they should have more sympathy.
Ok does that even make any sense? I don't know anymore.

Archived comment by Red Master Ninja:
I at some chicken once, but it wasn't good because I had no Biscuits. See biscuits and chicken go together like man and women, and with chicken there would have been no biscuits. Also eating chicken by itself is not bad, but I think the chicken gets lonely because it does not have a biscuit around to keep it company.

Archived comment by steff:
can't take credit. it's from a barenaked ladies song. hey, i don't mind the cross dressing so much. it's just that i think if you were trying on MY camisole, it probably wouldn't fit me so good after that.

Archived comment by Adam:
Namelink is as on-topic as any of my posts are (not at all).

Archived comment by Matt:
Good one, steff. But what can I say? It's a hobby. The alcohol-drinking, not the cross-dressing.


On a related note, about a year ago, Eve made a comment (at least I'm pretty sure she did) about how, if she were a man--some high-powered business-exec type--she would paint her toenails with blue glitter nail polish just for the joy of doing something subversive that no one could see.
I guess my point is that, in daily life, a man wearing a camisole would be pretty much the same thing, except on a somewhat more extreme level.

Archived comment by steff:
i think you guys need to get out more. =P

"iiiiiiiiiiiiiii love you more
than i did the day before
i discovered alcohol.

would you pleeeese ignore
that you found me on the floor
trying on your camisole."

Archived comment by umrguy:
Dunno, Matt, seeing's as I haven't seen him in at least a week, and I've had to report him for excessive absences (and I refuse to let him by my last round at the Grotto any more...)

Archived comment by Matt:
How can I get in on some of that, umrguy?

Then again, I can make poor man's absinthe by combining Chartreuse Green, Everclear (the real stuff, 190 proof) and Southern wormwood.

Archived comment by umrguy:
I was talking with a student of mine a few weeks ago, and he told me that he intended to order some absinthe (sp?) for St. Patrick's Day. Nothing like alcohol and psychotropics to have fun with, eh?

Archived comment by Matt:
What kind of alcohol, Montygirl? Beer just makes me fuzzy, anaesthetized and very drowsy, plus my vision narrows and I just sort of slog around.

Most liquors are more sort of chatty drinks, especially a nice (single-malt) scotch.

Red wine (I don't drink white) is the kind of thing that creeps up on me slowly, and I'm able to drink a lot of it before I realize how much I've had, but even so I can walk myself home, even a couple miles.

Mead (not the same as honey wine, but close; in Shakespeare's day it was called sack) is an experience unto itself, with very little of the drowsy feeling, but a lot closer to a kind of hallucinogenic experience. Really. I gave a friend a bottle, which he drank during a party. Afterward he said he vividly remembered doing several things he really doesn't want to remember having done.

Chartreuse Green is a lot like mead, but at 110 Proof, a lot stronger and quicker-acting. It's... whoa. Just whoa. Exercise great discretion.

Archived comment by Arlene:
You're welcome. We try to help.

Archived comment by gregj:
I just want everyone to know that I'll NEVER be able look at puncutation the same way again.
thanks a lot >:(

Archived comment by Jon:
Especially when she has the warm and fuzzy handcuffs...

Archived comment by Montygirl:
I'm still wondering why Matt doesn't feel all warm and fuzzy from the alcohol? I get a very warm and fuzzy (and, sometimes, friendly) feeling when I partake of the alcoholic nectars.

Archived comment by slugbuggy:
Is it just me or does anyone else get a special feeling when steff says "warm and fuzzy?"

Archived comment by Matt:
Quite, thank you.

Archived comment by steff:
it's tomorrow, matt. are ya warm and fuzzy?

Archived comment by Larry Hosken:
Oh, yeah, "Interrobang". Thank you.

Archived comment by Matt:
Okay, two things. First off, I didn't think (in my superior way that I have) that this could be enlightening, but it is. Secondly, I'm sure all the things you wonderful people have said will be really flattering when I'm sober, but I'm not, so that warm, fuzzy feeling will have to wait until tomorrow.

Archived comment by steff:
*lmao!* OH-kay! this thread is getting out of hand! slugbuggy, go to your room. arlene, no kicking. mia, i was grossed out and i'm a woman. that's it, now that i see what p.s.a's can lead to, i'm never sharing one again. gah!

on the other hand, it's nice that we feel we can talk about these things. =D

Archived comment by Arlene:
Something that cuts down on the expense is to use natural sponges. They are reusable & at the end of the week simply rinse them with a mild vinegar/water solution to cut down on the odor.

And for those guys (wisely keeping silent) who think that it's all in our heads, let me kick you between your legs. That pain is all in your head.

Archived comment by don:
There is a definite smell.

Archived comment by slugbuggy:
dave, are you Dave Foley of Kids in the Hall? 'Cause your request sounded familiar.

Mia - fair enough. My apologies.

However, I did work with a woman once who was both a lesbian and a "vampire" (so she claimed). So the joke about her was that she must really love um, that time of the...that is, I mean, uh...well, you know.

Archived comment by May:
There's nothing more brilliant than having that constant "ick" feeling. For girls who don't use tampons (not that I'd know how it is w/ them, they scare me), we can actually feel it. Yes.

Any GUY (Hi, Dave) who advertises how "carefree" you can feel during your period, needs to be shot down. And almost NO ONE can have one of those teeny tiny pads during the whole lot of the period, really only during the end, or if you're wearing a tampon (which is sad, very sad).

Other than the regular ick, we all experience pains. Sometimes it's an all body pain, sometimes it's stomach/back pain, sometimes it's just the pain of having a need to eat more and more. Yes. I said it.

Archived comment by ?:
as a man i would like to know just what a period is like to have. although only once or twice.

Archived comment by steff:
well, penny, it's great for not getting pregnant and not having the monthly hassle - if you go thru hell every 28 days, it's probably worth it. hey, like i said, i probably still would have done it, i just wouldn't do it AGAIN and i wish there'd been more info available then. and congrats on quitting smoking - that cancels out a whole LOT of other things! so you eat more burgers now, so what?

Archived comment by Mia:
Actually, slugbuggy, my dietary habits are fairly normal. I haven't any vampish tastes, so you can relax. I am simply rather accident prone in situations that have the potential to damage me very badly. I hate glass.

About periods, though. My mother got a hysterectomy when I was in elementary school, and the first thing we three children comprehended was that there would be no more children. On some level I also understood she would have no period (though I didn't know what it was called). As soon as my first menses came I decided I also wanted a hysterectomy, so I wouldn't have to bother with the "bloody mess." It took me four years to change my mind (that was when I realized I wanted children).

Archived comment by Penny:
Oh, check me out! I have the narrow field now.
I'm using my husbands TiBook.

Huh.

Archived comment by Penny:
You know Steff, I shouldn't hand out advice
like that to other women without warning them
first!

She's absolutely correct. I am a lucky one. I
did gain a little weight, but I also quit smoking
at the same time, so I don't know which one
to blame.

Who am I kidding? I eat like a pig since I quit
smoking!
Seriously, you do need to check it out. If you do
try it, watch for any signs of side effects and
call you doctor about them.

Thanks Steff!

Archived comment by Karin:
Yay!

Archived comment by steff:
just as a psa here: i was on depo, 'friendless" the whole 5 years, and... i wouldn't take it again. yes, it was miraculously convenient, and no, i didn't get pregnant (which was the real goal anyway) but it does have side effects and most patients arent' well informed about them. and some women it doesn't affect at all adversely, some women it doesn't stop their periods and some (like me) think everything is hunky dory until they go OFF of it and see all these symptoms that they thought were unrelated disappear spontaneously (i lost 10 pounds practically overnight while eating everything in sight, and i haven't had a migraine for over a year after getting them ALL the time, just to name two!). it's not that i wouldn't recommend it, but i would research it yourself, not just read the pamphlets you get handed. sorry for the lengthy, t.m.i. post - but i really wish i'd been better informed when i started taking it. one advatage - there's much more info out there now about it than there was several years ago when i first started on it, now that more women have used it, gone off of it, etc. and sure, i might still have done it... it's sooooooo easy!

we now return you to your regularly scheduled levity.

Archived comment by Penny:
Okay ladies, I have to tell you.
Get the shot. Depo-provera.
No more periods. No more cramps. It's taken about a year of being on it, but I don't get that anymore. And you only get the shot once every 3 months.
And I call it a "dot", like Ellen Cherry Charles in Skinny Legs and All.

Archived comment by steff:
actually, right at the moment i'm liking periods quite a bit. 3 periods, 20 minutes each, 8 points - yay hockey! and yay, me having a job where i can watch during the day!