Archived comment by Arlene:
Jos, dear, didn't they cover that in your health classes in high school?

Archived comment by Jos:
When I first met a coworker in NJ, she showed me around and said, "There's where I go crabbing." And I said, "Really? How do you catch crabs?"

Archived comment by Matt:
"There's a time and place for those kinds of things, children. It's called college."

--Chef from South Park, referring to experimentation of all kinds

Archived comment by steff:
oh, and as for "how", matt... college. it's the explanation for so many odd things about my life.

Archived comment by steff:
it's not all that weird, i'm easily increduled. i'm almost positive i could tell the difference if you were in the same room together. about the passerby thing, jon... have you ever noticed that there are certain types of people you meet over and over? not even just personality types, but looks-wise and everything. like there was one really popular mold and it got used a few times with variations like short/tall, rich/poor, etc. it's not really a small world, it's just that sometimes ppl get repeated. =)

Archived comment by Matt:
I'm still trying to figure out how a guy with my same name and a similar writing style ended up marrying steff. Similar enough, BTW, that she has three times now remarked upon her incredulity that he (hubby) and I aren't the same person.

I almost always end up using parentheses and elipses in the same post somehow...

Archived comment by slugbuggy:
And the awarding of the points to.. Passerby. Sir or Madam, please show up at Eve's place with proper I.D. to receive your cool points gift certificate, redeemable at...oh, never mind.

Ironic that we're discussing posting with multiple identities, and "Passerby" is a single identity with multiple posters (by virtue of being the default screenname). Don't you think? Eh.

"Dong, where is my au-to-mobile?"

Archived comment by Arlene:
Issues? Darling, you have issues? I have a subscription.

Archived comment by steff:
hee! good point. it's much harder to be me than most people imagine. i just make it look so effortless.

Archived comment by Jon:
So far, I'm one of the few that have been doubled with screen-names here. Of course, I take the perverse pleasure in pointing out my doppleganger.

Interesting. If(parentheses) and... were the only distinguishing characters, I could be steff. Which would confuse her husband no end, I'd imagine.
For more confusion on identity, see Ernie's(of LYD fame) Puppetmaster game. I'm sure it's archived somewhere...

Archived comment by Passerby:
sixteen candles!!! see, there are repercussions for being drunk.

"Do you know what these'll do to a boy my age?"

"No, but I know what they'll do to a girl my age."

Archived comment by Evil Gingerbread Man:
Some call me ... Jim?

Archived comment by Saint:
I thought Ouijibug was a woman? Gee, I'm usually pretty good about noticing things like that.

Archived comment by triticale:
Uhhh, from I Am The Walrus?

Archived comment by slugbuggy:
Quote time:

"Who are you?"

"I'm him."

"Who's he?"

"He's me."

"Ohhh."

Or something very close to that.

Archived comment by Jos:
Oh no! Well, who am *I*???

Archived comment by triticale:
I don't have issues. I have bound volumes.

Archived comment by steff:
daeeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!

hey there.

so, we're assuming he was talking about a person who wouldn't get any closer. maybe it was the lobster itself?

Archived comment by daen:
I miss seafood. This landlocked backwoods wouldn't recognize a lobster if it backed into town...

Anyone miss me?



sound of crickets chirping

Thought not. End of shameless trolling for interaction.

Archived comment by jcharles:
Maybe there was an actual lobster involved in this situation. Cell Phone Guy is telling a story about his visit to the Aquarium, when he picked up a lobster and threatened a small child. The child, having never lobstered before, was afraid of the lobster and wouldn't come any closer than eight feet. That's it! I've solved the mystery!

I defy anyone to come up with a better explanation.

I've never changed my name here. I occasionally add the email address, but not usually.

However, I have witnessed a name change. I introduced a friend to the site. He originally posted as Pedro. In case he'd be annoyed, I won't reveal his new name.

Ouijibug made a brief reappearance around Christmas, but he hasn't posted much since then. I remember, because I greeted him and he said something amusing about the canals of Mars.

Archived comment by steff:
hee. that would make some previous comments bizarrish if you were i or vice versa. which it would be, if you were indeed me. no, evil porpoises isn't mine, use it freely. 'snarky dolphins' is much funnier, i think. no, see, i thought the parenthetical statements would make someone suspicious, since you brought them up and since i can't resist them either. i didn't REALLY think someone would think i was you, evil water mammals notwithstanding (no, they're swimming!). these misunderstandings of my comments wouldn't be so amusing if we were the same person. or maybe they'd be MORE amusing.

i've only gone thru 2 online name changes, and none on this site. the first screen name i picked lasted about 10 minutes, until i entered my very first chat room and discovered there was such a thing as online stalking. i cleverly "hid" by changing my moniker (ok, the other guy wasn't very bright either i guess) and stayed with that for years.

i know! "lobster" is slang for changing your name/appearance/state of residence to get away from someone you're avoiding.

Archived comment by NinjaRap:
I'm still around. I do more reading than posting, traditionally. Thanks for the mention though. Yup, umrguy got me here in the first place.

Archived comment by umrguy:
NinjaRap posted a while back there (on what, memory eludes me), but I know he's still around, and presumably checks here every so often.

"How does he know this?" I hear you cry. Simple. I went to high school with NinjaRap and was the one who introduced him to this site....

And I am only me, and no others. To the best of my knowledge. I think I actually came up with this name to start with, and then switched email addys to match, actually...

Archived comment by slugbuggy:
If you were I, or me, that would put a really neurotic twist on some of the previous threads. I might mutter to myself on occasion, but that's all. Sorry to appropriate "evil porpoises," that's yours, but "snarky dolphins" wouldn't have made sense. I could see how someone might think that my use of a phrase you've used might be some kind of "clue" as to any alias I (or you) might be using, which I'm not, the fact that "slugbuggy" isn't my given name notwithstanding.

I could only find one post under the pontifical appellation anyway, there might be one or two more. Then a long stretch of no posting, then the appearance of slugbuggy. Something about the name change must have induced postaholic tendencies. Ahem.

I did however see some names I don't think I've seen lately, either: Somnambulist, NinjaRap, and Ouijibug, but I could be wrong.

Archived comment by steff:
and, (just to clarify) *I* am not slugbuggy either, even though i can't get away with not using parentheses (and SOMEtimes capital letters)... and always with the elipses. yeah, like we mind windiness around here - mike is one of our favorite ppl, remember? just don't pull his finger.

Archived comment by slugbuggy:
Just to deflect suspicion, I don't mean that I have several identities that I use concurrently for my own evil porpoises, excepting what I did just now, which was purely illustrative. My propensity for overexplanation and longwindedness (and the inability to complete a post without using parentheses) would give me away anyhow.

Archived comment by unowho:
Oh I lobster, and never flounder. He threw his line around her, and reeled her in...

Archived comment by Your Name Here:
this.

Archived comment by slugbuggy:
just dropped it altogether. At least I didn't go with

Archived comment by Pope Innocent the Bystander:
Maybe "lobstering" is an anti or reverse follow-the-leader game, where the leader actually walks towards you, and you, the "lobster," must continually back away maintaining a certain distance, say, eight feet. If the leader corners the lobster or backs him off an upper story, the leader wins.

On the Jeckyl/Hyde note, it's possible some people post using multiple identities. In my case, I first thought it amusing to combine the name of several popes (Pope Innocent III, etc.) with the phrase "innocent bystander," but after awhile that seemed too contrived and arch so I

Archived comment by Apple:
Good thing you back out slowly! Just in case you happen to live on an upper story!

Archived comment by Apple:
Why refute the theory?? I think it fits nicely with the "follow-the-leader!" I am picturing a dog chasing his tail.

Archived comment by Mike:
Or "follow the lobster," maybe. Whatever that is. I'm thinking the game ends with melted butter and some sort of doggie bag.

Is there anyone here who doesn't have issues? :^) In any case, welcome back.

(*notes that she didn't actually refute EGM's Jekyll/Hyde theory*)
(*backs out slowly*)

Archived comment by Apple:
Hey! My absence was noticed!! Too long a story! Let's just leave it at "I have issues!"
I still think this guy wanted to play "follow-the-leader!!"

I really gotta stop doubling my punctuation!

Archived comment by Bryan:
Where's Ben and Mindy been?

Archived comment by Evil Gingerbread Man:
And arrives just as Dr. Cobweb, too. I'm not saying that, maybe, they are two individuals sharing the same body, like a twisted Dr. Jeckle and Mr. Hyde, doomed forever to be eachother's bane. No, I'm just implying it, you may jump to your own conclusions.

Archived comment by Mike:
(*quietly wondering where Apple's been for the past 15 months or so*)

Archived comment by Apple:
Dang Mike I have heard all of those except the Warlock one. Disturbing.

Back to the Original Topic though, maybe he wanted to play follow the leader?? Lobsters do that walking in a straight line thing during mating season don't they?? Perhaps I'm just too enthralled with Red Lobster commercials?? Nah!

Archived comment by Mike:
Worst Pickup Line Ever.

If you offer lobster on the first date, the other guy just knows you expect him to put out. Learn some subtlety, dammit!!

Archived comment by Penny:
Le Faux Frog
Scroll down. I had the Syrah.

Archived comment by Jon:
Depends on the wine. Some grape juice is icky-poo.

Penny thanks for the link. I almost read one of the lines as "investigated *bars* in Maine" instead of "bays". That would be a different kind of investigation. At which, of course, you could have wine.

Archived comment by Paul:
Maybe he was referring to the way the guy kept backing away like a lobster being defensive behinds its claws. Personally, I would have made a sudden move toward the guy just to see if he flapped his tail and shot off backward at a high speed...

Archived comment by Bryan:
I'd rather drink grape juice than wine.

Archived comment by Julia:
yum! What sort of wine? A nice one, I hope

Archived comment by Penny:
How very embarrassing for a webmaster to
post a broken link.
Try the name link. I don't know what
happened.
I do have a glass of wine in front of me,
however...

Archived comment by Penny:
Lobsters don't make good
neighboors.
Hey, I have nothing against them. That's just
the name of the section I found pertinent to
this comment.

Archived comment by Jeremiah:
Maybe it's a new cologne. Lobster, by Taylor, or Klein, or whoever. And it smells really bad. Like at eight feet away, even.

Archived comment by Flyhalf:
The guy could have just been drunk and being obnoxious at the Krusty Krab.

Archived comment by Matt:
lobster, v. colloquial. To snap at someone when they get too close, regardless of that person's behavior at the time.

Possible? It's just a guess, really.

Archived comment by Passerby:
"Lobster much?"
"Hey..you wouldn't get closer to me beast"