22 March 2001
Submitted by eve on Fri, 03/23/2001 - 1:23am. Wisdom
"She might not be home."
"Shitty. I wanted her advice on this. Maybe she's just in the bathroom and can't hear the buzzer."
"You don't want advice though, you just want her to tell you that it's ok that you don't want him to love his ex anymore, even though you still love yours."
"No no. It's not even the same thing. I still love Joey the way I've always loved him, like how Andie loved Duckie. I broke up with Joey because that was the only way I loved him."
--Two girls at the intercom for the building next door
Nothing like a little talk of love and John Hughes movies after 1am.
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Posted by Anne Onymous on Wed, 03/28/2001 - 1:47pm.
Archived comment by Arlene:
I think it's just a cold, rocky relationship.
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Posted by Anne Onymous on Wed, 03/28/2001 - 9:49am.
Archived comment by Phil:
Does it mean they have a relationship like Mickey Mouse and his dog? Or maybe one person in the relationship maintains an irregular orbit around the other and may or may not be an actual part of the relationship?

Anyone? Help me out here.
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Posted by Anne Onymous on Tue, 03/27/2001 - 6:45pm.
Archived comment by daen:
We left it for you, Mike.
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Posted by Anne Onymous on Tue, 03/27/2001 - 8:06am.
Archived comment by Mike:
Um... "plutonically"?
Sorry. Someone was gonna say it, and I got here first. ;^P
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Posted by Anne Onymous on Mon, 03/26/2001 - 7:56am.
Archived comment by Ben:
Don't get me wrong... I don't think I'm pathetic... I've probably got an overactive Ego, Super-Ego and Id.... I'm a little too confident with most things concerned.

The point I was trying to make however, was that when a level is achieved in a relationship where 'love' is not a insignificant word, then I choose to remember the relationship at that point. I think about the person's good qualities, and how wonderful they are. Reality of them changing commonly gets in the way (as in that 5th grade girl eventually went on to be involved in heavy drug use), but if she asked for something -plutonically- where I knew that it was the 5th grader in her, I'd do it with little to no question. I still believe in the good of mankind.

Of course, if the relationship ends on a bad note, all bets are off, and I'll probably remember them as slimy, **^&&!@#*, *@!#!@*, *#@@!& , *@!%@!, and icky.
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Posted by Anne Onymous on Mon, 03/26/2001 - 7:43am.
Archived comment by nightfever:
Darn these weekends in bed after sessions. I never get to keep up on my own conversations...

Well, for the record, I have had (sometimes small, sometimes big) relationships with a whole lot of my female friends. And there are no adverse affects as far as I can see, besides a strengthening of our friendships.

And for the record, I was emotionally involved too, it's not like I was "using" them or anything...

I dunno...I just find them much more rewarding as relationships go.

Of course, a couple of them were just sport-sex things! But we made sure that the other knew it beforehand so that nothing was presumed...
*grin*
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Posted by Anne Onymous on Mon, 03/26/2001 - 7:20am.
Archived comment by Jon:
Ben, please don't think you're pathetic for the number of romances you've had. Just be glad you've had *any* - speaking from experience, that is a bit more pathetic.

Don't ask.
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Posted by Anne Onymous on Mon, 03/26/2001 - 6:16am.
Archived comment by Ben:
I remember being in 6th grade, and telling the 5th grader that just broke my heart that I would always love her. I still believe that 14? years later I do - but only in the reminiscent sense. If I ran into her, it would ruin the whole effect. I would not make an effort to do so, nor would I drop everything and run back to her... after all that was (14?) years ago, and I'm quite happily engaged with someone who I love in that "I want to be a better person because of you" way, the "lets wear our pajamas to the grocery store" way, the "drooling contest (don't ask)" way, and the "everything and the kitchen sink" way.

I try not to forget the past, so as to remember what events and choices made me who I am. If it weren't for the ten or so major relationships in my life since 1st grade (I'm pathetic), then I wouldn't be in the one that I am now. I am extremely thankful for the horrible angst I went through, and believe that that made me more appreciative for and (hopefully towards) my fiancee. Heck, we've lived together for 4? years.

Past romances become a introspective safety barometer. I'm a different person, they are different people, and I know that we aren't, shouldn't and won't be interested in eachother ever again.
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Posted by Anne Onymous on Fri, 03/23/2001 - 3:44pm.
Archived comment by daen:
I blush to admit that I *was* that person for someone for a while. Fortunately, I've grown out of it, or I wouldn't have a life now.

Wait--did I say I have a life? Where?
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Posted by Anne Onymous on Fri, 03/23/2001 - 3:02pm.
Archived comment by Stacey:
By the way Arlene, I love the song!
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Posted by Anne Onymous on Fri, 03/23/2001 - 3:00pm.
Archived comment by Stacey:
The worst is when you have a fling with someone and never expect to see him again and then two years later you see each other in a bar when you are with your boyfriend and its sooo awkward...
but I've only seen that in the movies. No really, I promise.
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Posted by Anne Onymous on Fri, 03/23/2001 - 1:38pm.
Archived comment by Angel:
I did actually have an..."arrangement" with a friend (though it was kissing only) for a little while, and I don't think that it really got that complicated. I was the one with the crush, but I got over it, cuz I knew where I stood before the whole thing began. The only big problem was that my EX found out and got really upset about it, so I felt bad about that. My bf now teases me about it because he knows the guy, but it's not a real issue.
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Posted by Anne Onymous on Fri, 03/23/2001 - 12:25pm.
Archived comment by Arlene:
As far as relationships & exes, check out this song (the link should be to the lyrics but you can reach the mp3 to listen to the song).

In my junior year in college we attempted to diagram the 'relationships' amongst our clique & associated people. We didn't end up with a love triangle, we had a love tesseract, with color coding. As I recall red meant they had dated, blue meant one-sided (with arrows), & orange meant definitely had sex. There were some that we suspected but unless one or the other confirmed we deemed it none of our business.
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Posted by Anne Onymous on Fri, 03/23/2001 - 10:50am.
Archived comment by melis:
I hope everyone has that "person" I am praying
that I am not the only pathetic dreamer out
there!!
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Posted by Anne Onymous on Fri, 03/23/2001 - 10:41am.
Archived comment by Stella:
Oh and the complexities of previewing a comment too!!!! Tsk..
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Posted by Anne Onymous on Fri, 03/23/2001 - 10:40am.
Archived comment by Stella:
I went through the same situation you did Wendi. But having spent only 3� years here in America, I could say I'm not fully immersed into the culture nor the mentalities yet.

But here I am, with someone (albeit an understanding one)who's friends with the guy I used to go out with though we (my bf and I) weren't friends when that happened. Oh the complexities of being human!!!
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Posted by Anne Onymous on Fri, 03/23/2001 - 10:39am.
Archived comment by Stella:
I went through the same situation you did Wendi. But having spent only 3� years here in America, I could say I'm not fully immersed into the culture nor the mentalities yet.
But here I am, with someone (albeit an understanding one)who's friends with the guy I used to go out with though we (my bf and I) weren't friends when that happened. Oh the complexities of being human!!!
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Posted by Anne Onymous on Fri, 03/23/2001 - 10:19am.
Archived comment by Denise:
Matt.. that made complete sense to me. There isn't an easy way to explain it. Do we all really have a person that we would drop anyone else on earth if that person ever "came to their senses" and wanted us the way we have always wanted them? This smacks of "Great Expectations" to me. Often, the idea/dream/fantasy of this person is far superior to the actuality of them. Ex's are threatening on many levels - mostly because you know they loved them once - and the fear that they do something to them/for them that you can't or don't know how to do.

"Do I offend?" - the Duck Man
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Posted by Anne Onymous on Fri, 03/23/2001 - 9:24am.
Archived comment by WendiWolf:
Mike-
You are right when you say it will complicate things. About a year or two before I met my current boyfriend, I had a couple of night fling with a friend of mine, who just happens to be a long time friend of my current guy. John, my current, will every once in a while bring it up (it doesn't help that the other guy does tend to sleep with anything that'll move...) and then say that he really doesn't want to know about it. *sigh* makes me feel kinda lousy, but I didn't even KNOW John then, let alone was dating him...
Maybe it is just an American trait Nightfeever, but, trust me, it can complicate things...
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Posted by Anne Onymous on Fri, 03/23/2001 - 9:06am.
Archived comment by daen:
And I thought =my= love life was complicated.

No, actually, I didn't.
It used to be, though.
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Posted by Anne Onymous on Fri, 03/23/2001 - 9:03am.
Archived comment by Matt:
Well, if she's being honest (the one who used to date Joey), she may be able to make a case, but there's no way in hell 90% of guys that age (meaning guys like the one she's dating now) can comprehend the parameters of her love for Joey. Her new boyfriend probably thinks she's maintaining her relationship with Joey for the same reason he's probably maintaining his relationship with his ex: dating insurance/booty call.

I don't think that made any sense.
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Posted by Anne Onymous on Fri, 03/23/2001 - 8:04am.
Archived comment by Mike:
'Cause it tends to complicate things, nightfever. Are you still just "friends" afterwards, or something else? What if one of you gets a real love interest, who finds out about your "friendly" encounter; wouldn't they be justified in being suspicious about the continued relationship? Or do you just not tell them?
Aiee! Brain cramp!
It's just... not done. It seems convenient at first, but it never is. In America anyway. (*shrug*)
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Posted by Anne Onymous on Fri, 03/23/2001 - 7:27am.
Archived comment by nightfever:
Why is it that some of my american friends were confused about why I would have scored one of my friends over a weekend. I assumed that it was a normal thing to do, but they seemed to think not.
Hmmm...
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Posted by Anne Onymous on Fri, 03/23/2001 - 6:54am.
Archived comment by umrguy:
Eve, I'd file this one under "Tragic"... for the human condition it represents
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Posted by Anne Onymous on Fri, 03/23/2001 - 5:19am.
Archived comment by WendiWolf:
Hey, I love my friend Keith, but there is no way I'd _ever_ date him....
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