The Flying Squirrelzinis
Submitted by zytka on Tue, 07/12/2005 - 10:52am. Bizarre
"You've gotta eat, man. Don't let those squirrels fuck with your diet and get your stomach all messed up. A man can't live on bugs and nuts for a year without suffering irreversible mental deterioration. It's a fact. God damn, if I had a bunch of squirrels, I'd buy a BIG TENT and start a traveling squirrel circus. Tiny little flying trapeze, squirrel clowns and a squirrel car. A squirrel cannon would be cool, too. You could probably fit about a hundred of those little irascible varmints in the barrel if you used a tamper."
— A guy ranting during a conversation which, I swear, started due to concern about how his friend in the London area was ok (San Francisco, CA)
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Posted by Mia on Mon, 07/18/2005 - 10:31am.
For the record, the squirrels at Rice (the university I work at) are tame enough that they'll not only follow you and beg for food, but when you aren't looking they'll dive into your bag and rummage around. No joke--I saw a couple of squirrels bothering a group of people on a picnic a few weeks ago. Last Wednesday I was in a golf cart on campus, and these two squirrels ran across the lawn because my sister was pretending to eat something. It was scary. I've also had a friend who had her ankles gnawed by an albino squirrel while she was on the way to class. Evidently, he jumped out of the bushes and started biting her legs where the sandal straps ended.

I don't like squirrels. My family seems to find this amusing, and whenever they have the chance, they buy me squirrel garden statues, stuffed animals and pictures. Another friend gave me a Polaroid of some squirrels sitting under a tree. My favorite, by far, is the doggie chew toy. :) "Hurl-a-Squirrel". There's this nifty little stuffed squirrel tied spread-eagled onto a sturdy rope; the whole thing is twisty, and shaped kind of like a frisbee. I love it.

On a slightly different note, what are Squirrel Nut Zippers?
Posted by daen on Tue, 07/19/2005 - 6:46am.
The Squirrel Nut Zippers are some kind of musical group. There also appears to be a candy by that name.
Posted by Jon on Wed, 07/20/2005 - 10:21am.
I highly recommend the band... they have a great old time sound, with very interesting vocalists.

I don't believe I've ever had the candy, though I have seen it advertised in a catalog... 'Signals', maybe?

- My mind is in the gutter, but it keeps out the bad weather.
Squirrel Nut Zippers
Posted by Somnophobe on Wed, 07/20/2005 - 6:52pm.
If I remember correctly, I think that the band named themselves after the candy... The group is way cool, daddio; they have a kind of a jazzy swing thing going on, and Katharine Whalen of the Squirrel Nut Zippers is one of the best jazz vocalists of recent times, in my opinion.

My favorite song with her as lead vocalist is "Anything but Love" off of "The Inevetible Squrrel Nut Zippers".
Again with the squirrels
Posted by steff on Thu, 07/14/2005 - 5:47am.
it's time for brice street again.

and this isn't bizarre, it's beautiful. i propose we see just how pervasive a meme this can generate, out of respect for the use of "little irascible varmints" if nothing else.

(yes, we apparently all get the same google ads. hehehehe.)
That Brice Street page is pre
Posted by zytka on Sun, 07/24/2005 - 10:24pm.
That Brice Street page is pretty good. What google ads would you be referring to?

ETA: Never mind. I finished the thread and see what you mean about the ads.
Squirrel clowns?
Posted by Mike on Wed, 07/13/2005 - 11:54am.
Yeah, that's nightmare material. It looks like the squirrel trapeze idea has been covered. All that really leaves is the car and the cannon. As annoying as squirrels are no one's ever tried to use them as projectiles? I sense an invention opportunity.
Posted by Somnophobe on Fri, 07/15/2005 - 10:37pm.
Cirque Du Squirelleil...

...and "The Irascible Varmints"? A good band name if I ever heard one... they'd prolly'd play bluegrass 'r somethin'.
Le cirque
Posted by jcharles on Tue, 07/26/2005 - 6:48am.
I ran across this comment the other day, and it made me laugh:
A great deal of Cirque du Soleil's magic comes from its unapologetic Frenchness. Or, if you prefer, its Quebecoisity. By this, I mean that Cirque du Soleil's shows make absolutely no sense at all.
Never apologize. Never explain.
Posted by Somnophobe on Tue, 07/26/2005 - 5:47pm.
That reminds me of a joke:
What's the curse of Qubec?

English food and French manners.

(In all actuality, I like (some) English food, and have had no problems with the French... yet.)
New life mission:
Posted by Mike on Tue, 07/26/2005 - 9:33am.
Work the word "Quebecoisity" into a conversation.

If you don't like squirrels, I hear there's a very simple way to bump 'em off. All you need is a sizable trash can and a few gallons of water. Squirrels can't swim, apparently. It's sort of cruel though. I say just leave the annoying tree rats alone. Unless they start infiltrating buildings, of course; that's when anything goes.

Um, almost.
Posted by jcharles on Fri, 08/05/2005 - 9:22am.
So wrong. And yet so very, very funny.

Never apologize. Never explain.
Posted by Saint on Tue, 07/12/2005 - 10:12pm.
"A man can't live on bugs and nuts for a year without suffering irreversible mental deterioration."

I'm guessing he might have experience on this one....

-Can't stop, the weasels are closing in!
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