Archived comment by Jon:
One of my favorite sketches on Letterman recently had him "ranting"(joking) about chopping down an 100-year old tree for the NYC tree lighting ceremony... "Oh, it's a shame to cut down the old tree, but at least we got 45 bucks"

Archived comment by TarMan:
Or plant it and pray the damn thing lives. Then in April you notice all the needles have gone brown and the deer have rubbed off all the bark they can reach. Not to mention that, oops, you planted it right next to the driveway and its last big effort in life was to break through the crete with a root. Merry effin christmas all.

Archived comment by Arlene:
Especially funny when you remember that the Christmas tree is actually a Germanic pagan practice. The fir/pine tree symbolized eternal life (green in the 'dead' time/winter), you bring it in, decorate with other symbols of light & life to celebrate the return of the sun (also known as winter solstice), then burn it.

Archived comment by Mike:
By now, you must be a barefoot diabetic.

Archived comment by dfresh:
Montygirl, don't limit yourself to the holidays. You can do that any day of the year. At least, I do...

Archived comment by dfresh:
Montygirl, don't limit yourself to the holidays. You can do that any day of the year.

Archived comment by Mike:
...And I guess by your standards that every day can be Christmas for a suburban raccoon.

Archived comment by Mike:
A niece of mine, during her first Christmas at my house, proceeded to walk up to our tree and devour candy cane after candy cane. My mother rushed in to stop her. "Leave those on the Christmas tree," she said. My niece looked back at her defiantly. "This ain't no Christmas tree, granny," she said. "This is a trick-or-treat tree!"
She actually got out of trouble by saying that; my mom just laughed and put the rest of the canes on the higher branches.

Archived comment by Montygirl:
Hey, what other holiday allows you to sit around a dead tree in your living room while eating candy out of a sock?

Archived comment by Montygirl:
Mike, Can we call you Cynicalboy?

Archived comment by Mike:
Nothing honors the birth of Jesus Christ like destroying vast forests of his handiwork for a garish monthlong display of crass materialism...
(hits stopwatch)
...And that's... *five minutes* since I suggested that we be less cynical! Oh, well, can't say I didn't try....

Archived comment by seleta:
darn! i think we're on another tangent-*giggle*

Archived comment by Mike:
"Get 'em before they turn brown and dry out!"

Archived comment by seleta:
Montygirl...I *missed* you...I am loving having you back...do NOT apologize...so there!!!!

Archived comment by Montygirl:
Deal All,

Sorry for so many stupid comments from me today (or any other for that matter), but I'm trying to get over my withdrawal from not having access for four days, and I still have a sugar buzz from eating so pie over the holidays!

Archived comment by Montygirl:
Slogans:

"Pay us enough, and we'll pick one for you!"
"Pick you neighbor's for him!"
"Freshly Picked Every Day!"
"Pick one grout yourself!"

Archived comment by Sonia:
That's good Seleta!!! :)

I always thought the sign of the start of the holiday season was CVS putting out X-mas stuff in August.

Archived comment by seleta:
come pick one?????

Archived comment by Arlene:
For me, it's the actual lots, they sprout up around grocery stores, etc like mushrooms after a heavy rain.

You probably don't have them out there, but around here there is one company & their sign reads "Have a Booger Mt. Christmas". Is there anything that could possibly be added to that to make a little more surreal?