Archived comment by Mike:
So, Dragonfly, instead of a mood ring, you had a mood _head_?
Hey, whatever works.

Archived comment by DragonFly:
Dear BillyBob,
Maybe you should change your hair color!
I used to change mine whenever I was depressed, in junior high school my hair was red, neon green, purple, neon blue, black, etc...

Archived comment by Arlene:
Aw geez, Billybob, don't know if you'll see this, but sympathies. It probably doesn't feel like it now, but the pain does pass. Besides, if she's stupid enough not to see what a fine person you are, she doesn't deserve you.

Archived comment by Mike:
Oh. Geez. I'm sorry.
And no problem. I think I talk too much, too. :)
Hope you're okay.

Archived comment by Billybob:
Apologies for all my previous comments
to-night. I just broke up with my girlfriend of
4 years.


Worse still....this is her computer...and
she's taking it.

Archived comment by Billybob:
MontyGirl..I hope the name isn't taken from
Monty Python..that genuinely results in
LOL.
Having said that I like you the most from this
site.......a life felt bitterness......be strong

Archived comment by seleta:
Montygirl...i have to agree with you...we all have little things that might really bug us and not matter at all to someone else. womens feet in sandals without painting their toenails...or with nasty feet (get some shae butter and cover those things up!!)...small grooming habits...in your case nice hands...maybe her mind was thinking about those hands in a tangent sort of way...

Mike, many women do "post-break-up" hair style changes...etc...i don't think it is a reflection of a personality change, but maybe the equivalent of "washing that man outta my hair" ...i've been known to change my hair style from day to day without a cut...maybe reflects mood, i dunno...

Archived comment by Montygirl:
Mike, you're not being sexist. You're being cute.

Some women notice certain things about men and women, I notice a man's hands. not the size, just overall "quality". I like strong looking hands, but not all callused.

Some women tend to be more expressive with hairstyles because there are such a variety of acceptable styles. Therefore, they may judge others by their hairstyles, too.

I've been told guys notice girls shoes, even if they don't comment on them. I didn't think I judged people by their shoes/feet until I saw a woman wearing sandals - her feet were all cracked open and *nasty*!

So, just as the girl you mentioned noticed your fingernails, another might compliement you on how nicely your teeth are parted. Go figure.

Women: If they came with manuals, would guys really read them?

Archived comment by Arlene:
It's a socialized thing, it's not an inborn trait. There's this fabulous little tribe in Africa that is great for pointing out how many things are socialized. In their tribe, women hunt & fight while the men stay home to make themselves pretty for their wives. The difference in size between the sexes is practically nil but the women are more muscular & the men concentrate on makeup, etc.

In this society, for the most part, women are taught to pay a lot of attention to their appearance. Part of that is that most men are drawn to appearance first; therefore to fulfill the basic imperative of "find a mate", you must try to make yourself as attractive as possible (however your subculture defines that).

Most women either genetically or are socialized to look for 'good providers'. That means looks aren't always the first criteria. (Although that there's a study involving wild chimps that proves that looks are important, but that's a serious tangent). However, because of the importance placed on appearance, women do look for men who 'take care of themselves'. It may mean someone who will appreciate the time she has taken with her appearance.

Does that answer your question, Mike? Or are you just more confused?

Archived comment by Mike:
I guess my absence was no great loss to this conversation; never had my hair dyed, never even considered it....

Not to sound particularly offensive, but I was wondering...

I realize that billybob's "girlie" comment was made in jest, but how big a role do you think sex stereotypes DO play in this sort of thing?

Once, while I was standing in an elevator, a girl looked at my hands and said, "Nice fingernails." I spent the rest of the day thinking about that weird compliment. Nice FINGERNAILS? I hadn't given them more than a second's worth of thought for the previous month! It got me to thinking that maybe all the extra emphasis women place on some aspects of physical appearance takes away from their ability to observe themselves and others in other more subtle ways. I can honestly say that I have *never* really considered changing the color or style of my hair to reflect a change in my persona; I do that by adjusting my personality. (And I don't do *that* often--why mess with perfection?) I'm not trying to sound sexist, I just want to understand-- do women really rely on external appearances so much to reflect their self-conception, or am I just making too much of this?

Archived comment by seleta:
i got my first grey hair a couple of years ago and my youngest thought it was the most wonderful thing in the world to yank it out -- in a public place of course -- and yell at the top of her lungs,"LOOK MOMMY...IT'S A GREY HAIR!!!"..of course, this is the same child that looked at a male friend of mine and invited him to spend the night...and asked me once, as we left the DPS office (DL renewal) if i was her mommy...

Archived comment by Arlene:
Steff: a friend of mine started going grey at 16. Another friend has been fully grey (as in mostly white) since she was 30. She says she loves getting those senior discounts. Most people are too embarrassed to ask if she's old enough & just give it to her.

Archived comment by Oedalis:
Oops...um that was my comment below--dawgawnit! Oh, well, I'm sure the relevant parties will know who it's from...right?

Archived comment by Passerby:
Lisa Beth --
I did lighten my hair at one time and it made it a little crunchy, fortunately before I dyed it black, that went away. I'd hate to have crunchy black hair---ewww... I'd probably have to have the whole lightening then dying thing done professionally.

Arlene --
Fortunately my hair didn't blend *that* well. It was a reddish brown and it was okay in the winter months, but when summer came round and my skin got darker and my hair got lighter...No, thanks...
My sympathies go out to that girl too...wonder why she didn't just play it safe and dye it black? *G*

Archived comment by steff:
oh no, even if you read the grout one, it'll still seem weird. or so i've been told. i went blond in high school and then abruptly dyed back my natural color (red) and now have to KEEP dying it cuz i'm graying already... i'm 29! recently tho, instead of hair color, i've been on a special effect contacts kick. *grin* i love those things. yes, i've worn them to work...but only the ones that change my eye COLOR, not configuration.

Archived comment by CAM2:
I believe the diety of hair color is Folicles (pronounced Fahl-i-klees). A lesser-known Greek god, I believe.

Archived comment by LisaBeth:
Oedalis, have you tried lightening your hair before you color? I know it's not the healthiest for your hair, but hey if Gwen Stefani's locks can survive it....

Archived comment by Arlene:
Worst hair color I saw was on this girl I used to see around campus. It was the most incredibly awful shade of orange-yellow. All I could think was "why would anyone do that to poor, defenseless hair" especially since the hair literally clashed with her skin tone (kinda taupe [for the color illiterate, that's a grey-beige]). Then she let it grow out & I was (internally) yelling "Dye it, dye it!" Her hair, honest to (insert deity [side note, is there a deity of hair color?]), matched her skin. Poor thing.

Archived comment by Oedalis:
Sally's, eh? Hmm...I can't say I noticed any wild hair colours last time I was there, but I can always check again....but as for me, my hair seems to be having a problem soaking that colour in *sighs* The black just took too well (was a brunette, but I craved contrast--it blended a little too well with my skin tone for my taste) and so far it is undefeated.

Archived comment by Billybob:
Montygirl:"Woman and men are just different"
We need to educate each other more
with honest , open , unconditional ,
nonjudgemental discussion and
understanding.

Tell us more about the pillowfights.

Archived comment by seleta:
Dave...i feel so...tawdry...

Archived comment by Dave:
MontyGirl: This is true, guys color their hair...in fact one of the best selling hair color products is that one with the add of the guy brushing this gel onto his face...there's also the hair club for men (of which I am not a member, nor am I the president)...men i would think are more concerned with their hair (in the latter stages of midlife) than women are...
Seleta: I am a 20something (ok late 20something :P)...and if not for Cam (jk)... i would hit on you if only so that you could get me cheap plane tickets :) ...wrong thread i know but that is quite possibly THE cruelest thing I have ever done (ie dated a girl, used her, (not for sex...losers ;) and then broke up with her...but in my defence we both knew that it was going to be that way...I still feel bad tho :( WHEW! Time to go teach...

Archived comment by Montygirl:
Oh, come on now. It's not *that* girlie. Guys color their hair, too. We aren't talking about nail polish and monthly bills in the midst of a topless pillow fight!

Oh, but then you guys might enjoy that more...

Archived comment by Dave:
Cam: Nothing personal, it was just too good an oportunity to pass up...

Archived comment by CAM2:
BillyBob, I hear ya, man . . .

All I can say is this. I've dyed my hair this INCREDIBLE color of neon green. Problem is, no one wants to see my armpits . . .

Archived comment by Billybob:
This is turning very girlie.
By the way my hair is its natural color brown.
It used be dyed black in my youthful gothic
days.


Oh my God..this is what happens when
Mike isn't here

Archived comment by seleta:
actually, Arlene, i can sympathize more than you know...my dark brown hair has a great deal of red in it so red is easy...blond is NOT...then add red color and...well, let's just say that the first attempt at blond after the red was the color of kraft mac and cheese!!! my kid's wouldn't even go to the beauty supply with me to get the stuff that finally did the trick!!!

Archived comment by Arlene:
*sighing w/ envy*
I've never been able to go really wild with the hair color. I'm sorta blond & my hair just soaks up color & then won't let go. I did one of those comb in, shampoo out in 3-5 shampoos color mousses (it was the 80's). My hair, after 4 shampooings was the exact color of cheap, let me emphasize cheap, barbecue potato chips. After 6 shampooings it finally got toned down to a bearable shade.

And now that my hair is waist length I can't just wait for color to grow out. (did that with the red hair my senior year of high school).

I've been working w/ public for (ack) about 10 years, so no funky colors. Not even for Halloween.

Archived comment by seleta:
Montygirl...for now i actually must leave my hair alone...working with the public and all...

last year i really went thru this phase tho...one week it was annie lennox red..the next was the trailer trash blonde...then shaved...i worked in a call center in Nashville at the time and one of the BIG bosses told me if i dressed all in white i would look like a q-tip...now it's just plain old brunette :(...ahhh, well, now i just have to find more *creative* ways of expressing myself!!!

Archived comment by Montygirl:
Seleta,

I think you should go lavender. Since you were trailer-trash blond, obviously light colors look good on you ... plus, I haven't seen any lavender-headed individuals as of late. Oh, yeah, its you, baby. Definitely.

P.S. I wanted to go blue in high school (just one lock, not the whole head) but my stylist refused. Can you believe it? Yeah, she said she couldn't do that to me, because two of her customers asked to have their hair colored to look like mine. They saw me in her shop and loved my color - they were quite disappointed when she had to tell them I didn't color my hair! (btw, I'm a blond.)

Archived comment by seleta:
Montygirl: you pooooor thing...at least i am in a two person office, and Sept to Jan is V E R Y slow in the travel industry...so it is just my boss who has to listen to me...but a few minutes ago i started laughing sooo hard and she was in the other room and thought i had suddenly developed a seizure disorder or something!!!

Archived comment by Montygirl:
I know what you guys mean: I have to refrain from laughing too hard 'cause people want to know what I'm doing (they think I'm writing a proposal.) So all my laughing turns into this snickering-snort sorta thing... quite embarrassing when they say "bless you."

Archived comment by CAM2:
Looks like the joke's on US! Touche' Dave . . .

Archived comment by Dave:
No I am not new, and I have read the threads about grout, etc. As for my comments there is nothing quite like running smak...and for those of who think that reference went over my head, you're wrong. I was just taking the opportunity to poke fun at, two of this sites more notirous contribtutors...

Archived comment by CAM2:
Yeah, I'm in the ranks of the corporately employed. My outbursts of maniacal laughter don't phase them anymore. They gave up on trying to figure me out a while ago.

Archived comment by CAM2:
I'm in love with Betty Crocker? Cool!

Archived comment by seleta:
CAM, I am thinking you must be like me and are at work...don't you ever find them looking at you strangely as you laugh at this place...mine think i have taken up drinking or something!!!

Archived comment by Billybob:
Too late ..I'm infected

Archived comment by Billybob:
*ok*

Archived comment by seleta:
O...do you have a "SALLY's" there? They are everywhere in the south...you can find any shade you want there!!! last year i went "trailer-trash" blonde and used a silver toner (translated purple) to get it as white as possible...until i started breaking off all my hair and shaved it slick...that was weird 'cause i had to hide from this man in the bathroom-guess he thot i was kinky (he didn't know i'm betty crocker)...now it's all normal again, but there is a "Sally's Beauty supply" two doors down from my office and sometimes i hear the bleach and color calling my name....

Archived comment by CAM2:
Don't do it BillyBob! Resist! Resist!

Archived comment by billybob:
i think everyone got it except dave
damn blast I didn't think I needed to
but I must start putting comments
in between * these things* or using
the infamous *lol* ,*s*, *g*,*rofl*
I'm on the road to becoming an internet geek
There just doesn't seem to be room for
deadpan humour here.
*s*

Archived comment by Oedalis:
Aahhh!! Aahhh!!! Ask about how to get an indigo hue on black hair---it's killing me, I'm dye-ing to know (again, that hideous pun).

Archived comment by seleta:
Dave: welcome aboard...if you are new...start with the one about grout...it will get you in the swing of things and we won't seem quite-so-weird then...

CAM...i am absolutely swooning here (while rofl)

kisses!!

Archived comment by CA M2:
Dave: I know exactly what I said-- part of the humor in it is seeing how many people don't even get it.

Seleta: Don't worry about being swept off your feet. I'm right here to catch you. (To everyone, feel free to wretch uncontrolably . . .)

Archived comment by seleta:
hey...that's my honey your'e talking about...he IS *the*!!!!

Archived comment by billybob:
I am full of shit , though

Archived comment by Billybob:
or very sarcastic

Archived comment by seleta:
CAM...i am picking myself up off the floor...you swept me off my feet!!!

i think i'm in luv!!!

i'm so flattered that someone *my age* hit on me!! it's usually someone really younger or really older (and believe me...i like it when guys in their early 20's hit on me because they think i'm their age...BUT...)

cyber-romance in bloom...(hehe)

Archived comment by Dave:
Billy, Cam: If you two walk up to women and say "What's your sign? I am a feces..."...well ROFL...i think, what you meant was Pisces not feces b/c what you are saying is that you are SHIT. Not to be confused with being "The Shit"...